Is This a Dream?

Oh my gosh. I have posted and deleted this entry five times. I’m afraid to rejoice this time. I hate this feeling. You know what? I’m gonna let you know what is really going on regardless of how nervous I am about it. I’m trying to understand what just happened so bear with me as I put it into words although I still don’t believe it myself.

I’ve been enjoying my time of “freelancing”. The hours are perfect although the pay is virtually non existent but it’s still a noble career. Creative people struggle, only because they are so full of spiritual energy and that kind of energy can’t be properly contained. I couldn’t be contained. I looked at each job I held as training ground for something greater although my heart sank with each failure.

Although this blog may not be the best indicator of my desire to inspire and empower (sorry, you get the funky Ms. Tee with all the cracks and ever present PMS) my professional writing always aims to reflect empowering of women, sisterhood and overcoming obstacles. Take a peek at the collection, it’s growing.

With all of this in my heart it’s safe to say that businesses and corporations weren’t really feeling me. But I had to survive so I did what I had to do and changed jobs one after the other, always trying my best but never quite fitting in.

Where’s the job description that asks: Do you want to inspire others to greatness?

I was worn out trying to figure out my path until I received a phone call last week. It was a woman who had gotten my resume and writing samples somehow. I don’t remember sending them to that company.

She invited me into her office to discuss bringing me on as a freelance writer. I’m thinking, ‘This is different. No other editor has ever wanted to meet me in person.’

I had no idea I would be meeting a woman who owned her own company and wanted to expand by producing a magazine. After reviewing my past experience and objectives, she thought I’d be a perfect fit to help shape the content and style of the magazine. The magazine is geared toward women, but that’s all I’ll say for now. She needs someone to write stories and bring in other freelancers to help too.

“What if I told you that you have an entire magazine and you could say anything in it that you want to?” she said to me during our first meeting.

I sat there speechless in my Boondocks moment.

Are you serious?

Are you ready for my vision?

It turns out she is a motivational speaker and a therapist who has written two books that she also needs help revising. Ofcourse I offered my freelance services and she accepted. ~bling~ Her ‘calling’ in life is inspiring and healing women’s minds.

Crazy huh?

Immediately self doubt kicks in. Oh no…Here’s another black woman I’ll be working for and the two I’ve had in the past were nothing nice to work under. And here I go again, getting all excited about a job before it really settles in. Hey, it’s just freelance writing and editing. It’s a contract, it’s not forever.

I get a call from her yesterday and she has a quick question.

“Hey, I just wanted to let you know that I definately want you on board to write and edit for the magazine,” she tells me.

“Thankyou,” I reply.

“I was just about to give this woman a call about the administrative assistant position I’m hiring for and I thought I’d call and ask you first. I know you may not have thought about it but..would you be looking for some extra income?”

Hmmm?

“I know you’re a freelancer but we could use your experience as we set up the office. I want to build a strong team and we’re just getting started. What do you think?”

Hmmm?

Administrative assistant again? Yeah, I think I liked those jobs when I did them. Wasn’t too long ago? LOL! This would be a full time position though.

“What are the hours?”

“It’s 9-4 and Friday’s 9-1. And remember this has nothing to do with the work you are doing for the editorial part of the magazine. You will be paid for that seperately. It will be everything you were going to do before PLUS this income. I thought that might be helpful to you.”

“Wow.”

“So what do you say?”

“I…I accept. I can do that. I can handle both jobs for now. I can set up the office for you and make some guidelines and protocol and do some research…oooh. I’d love to do that.” I realize.

Setting the vision is my LIFE!

“I’ll do it.”

If in some way I am dreaming all of this then it won’t matter because you’ll never read this anyway. Man, It feels like a dream.

I am now working for a magazine.

I am now employed by a magazine on it’s editorial staff.

I work full time for a brand new magazine and I will help shape it’s future.

I work for a magazine.

I actually work for a magazine.

A print magazine with a glossy cover.

A magazine about women.

I can let all of my writer friends write stories and I get to pay them.

Guess what my major was in college? YEP! Magazine Journalism

Does that mean that I am actually working in the field that I received my degree in?

Am I on my way to become a magazine editor?

Do I get to update my amazing resume?

Ahh.. Shit.

This feels like a dream.

I can’t believe it.