Feelin the HEAT

I feel fat right now.

Maybe it is that friend bologna and cheese sandwhich I just ate. It was good though. ~licking fingers~

So wow. What a weekend. I went out on Friday night. Down to SoBe for a social at the Sagamore Hotel. It was cool. Open bar. Nice atmosphere. I didn’t know a soul there and I hate going to parties alone but B made me feel guilty about staying home by saying, “I volunteer you to be a part of this group and you don’t even go to the things they have.”

Damn.

So I went. Alone. And got a drink and sat down next to two ladies who I later learned were on vacation from New York. So we chatted the evening away about everything Black people talk about these days; the re-election of Ray Nagin, the state of Black women in society today, race relations and the possibility of race mixing becoming the solution to racism in America.

While I don’t mind confessing that I have no clue what to talk about when I am in a room full of caucasians, whenever I see a Sista who happens to be cool, I am certain that we have a common bond in our struggle to overcome obstacles and better ourselves.

Hey Sista girl. How you doin?

Fine girl. Maintaining.

I hear ya. It’s hard out here for a Sista.

Who you tellin? But I stay on my toes and I’m always on the grind. I’m gonna get there!

That’s the right attitude Sista. Cuz if it’s not one of them, it’s one of us. We need to get our acts together and start supporting each other instead of always seeing each other as the competition.

That’s real! I don’t think that Black women understand the immense opportunity for all of us. I never believed that the American pie was only so big. If I see another Sista doing her thing, I am ready to congratulate and imitate. Too bad most Sista’s aren’t like that.

There’s an unspoken bond between Black women that exists in the deep recesses of our hearts. When insecurity takes over there’s no room for the heart connection to grow hence the reason why some Black women take delight in the failures of others.

I ran into this one chick a month or so ago. She and I went to highschool together and she invited me out for breakfast. Now remember in highschool I was pretty well known and no one in the world would have guessed that I would have children out of wedlock and be struggling like I am. I’ve been told many times that I didn’t seem to be a person who could be swayed because I was so focused on my goals.

Oh well…Funny what lies beneath the surface.

So this chick runs into me and over a plate of salmon and grits I tell her about my latest endeavors, successes and failures. She can’t believe what she is hearing.

Two kids?

Just lost my job?

Freelance writing?

Hustling everyday?

No boyfriend in sight?

As I’m talking I could sense a bit of restrained excitement over the news of my unrest. She swallows a bite of her breakfast sandwhich, suppresses a smile and says, “Well, plenty of people want to see you fail. They are just out there waiting for you to mess up. What you gonna do?”

I sit in silence as she sizes me up.

“Keep trying,” I tell her. “This world is much bigger than my situation right now. There’s nothing that any other writer can do that I can’t. I have a unique voice. I’m just trying to be heard.”

She smiles and looks down at her plate.

“Well, you know. As far as these raggedy ass men are concerned. Sometimes I think that it would be better if we just left them alone period. A woman would treat you better, don’t you think?”

I raise my eyebrow. Is she recruiting?

No, I don’t think so. That is sexually unsatisfying. Besides I wouldn’t want to deal with all of those emotions. I’m emotional enough as it is.”

I don’t think lesbians have a “look” anymore. But whatever vibe they have going on, I must have it too because it’s not uncommon for a woman to try to be with me. But I’m not interested soooo……….

Yeah…I went out with the guy on Saturday. I drove all the way to Ft. Lauderdale to meet him and we had lunch by the river at Las Olas. It was a nice spot. The day was sunny, but overcast. The breeze made us want to take a quick nap. The date ended quickly though and less than two hours later I was on my way back to Miami with a nice surprise courtesy of the guy. Very thoughtful of him.

By the time I got home I was so tired that I took a few phone calls and then took a nap. I woke up to the sound of my cell phone ringing. It was Kevin. I met him over a month ago but I hadn’t had time to go out with him yet. I was supposed to meet up with him after the social on Friday night but I was tired of being on the Beach so I went home without calling him.

He wanted to hook up with me later in the evening. I paused and looked to my left where Dude was softly snoring buried beneath my blanket.

“I’ll give you a call later,” I told Kevin. “I’m still not sure if I’m coming out tonight yet.”

I never called him back.

At 10pm I woke Dude up and we went to my bestfriend’s family’s house for a party. I knew he would enjoy all of that reggae music because he’s Jamaican. ~shakes head~ He laughs at me because he knows I can’t understand a word they say in those damn songs and it irritates me.

At close to midnight I’m completely gone off of the 3 glasses of Alize that I had been drinking at the party and Dude brings me home.

Today I woke up and I was still out of it so I drank a glass of water and took a sweet nap for most of the afternoon.

My boys came home this evening and we played around a bit before I sent them off to bed. The game should be starting soon and even though I really don’t like sports, I can’t miss this HEAT game in the FINALS.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

I love Miami!

Everything about my hometown makes me so proud to be from here.

Miami- Why live anywhere else?