Everything is gone.
Its as though life grabbed me by the ankles, held me upside down and shook everything off of me. Within the last 3 months, everything went away. My two jobs. My car. School. Certain friends. And now, me and my best friend Tamara are no longer speaking.
No, it’s not like one of those, “I’m mad at you for now,” type of things. This is for real. I think we’ve grown apart or at least I have. I don’t look at her the same way. I no longer share the same mental space or thought processes. I’m ready to move on to other things but she still seems to be in the same space so I had to say goodbye.
I was hurting for a little while but then I realized what an opportunity this will be for her to grow as a person. Without me to lean on, she will have to learn to trust herself.
~sigh~
There’s a man she has been seeing. She has been waiting for two years for this man to call her his girlfriend. He won’t. She’s still trying to convince him of her worth. In a way, I hope she can do it because she’s put in a lot of work. But on the other hand, I would love to see her loved for real by someone she doesn’t have to EARN their love and devotion.
Regardless, she’s stronger than she thinks. She’s smarter than she thinks. She’s more capable than she thinks. I will always love her but I have to shake it off so that we both can grow. I need strong women around me who know their capabilities and their worth.
She was my childhood best friend but we are no longer children.
It’s time to grow up.
I’m ready.