I See White People

Understand who I am and where I’m from.

Consider my issues with racism and the fact that I have not really had many good experiences with white people.

I believe God wants to break that.

How else could he give me a friend like Ryan, who knows all about my issues with race relations and STILL calls me a friend and supports me?

Then, how could I come to Houston to live in a white household and feel perfectly comfortable? In fact, Nancy and I still communicate and I know that eventually I’ll stop by to hang out with her and the kids. How could a white family open up their home and embrace me like that and even more wild is how could I accept the offer?

Wow.

I prayed for healing and now I’m walking it out.

Eastside walk it out.

Southside walk it out.

Westside walk it out.

I’m now living with a white professor. A white MAN!

And he’s nice to me. Today he bought me a book he found about Houston. “It’s no big deal,” he said and smiled as he rushed back up the stairs.

I smiled at his retreating figure. God will use anyone to bless you.

Thanks God…

Every night before I go to bed I plan out my goals for the next day.

I’m in the midst of researching publications in Houston to start pitching myself as a freelance journalist in order to generate income. I’ve even contacted national publications to tell them about my journey and my leap of faith in hopes that I can write a column for their magazines or newspapers to help inspire others with my boldness/craziness.

I’m putting all my cards on this adventure. It HAS to work out. There’s no way it can’t. Kenya said to me the other day, “Girl, if you look at all of the qualities that those successful people have and made a checklist, you could pretty much check off the entire list based on your life.

Sacrifice? Check.

Undeniable talent? Check.

Vision and drive? Check.

Willing to struggle for the cause? Check.

When she said that it reminded me of my baby Kanye.

I feel like I’m his little sister, following in his footsteps.

So far..no one is interested in allowing me to tell my story in their publication. No one is feeling me. No one is giving me a shot. But just like my baby Kanye…I won’t give up. All I need is ONE person to believe in me. ONE person to give me a shot. I know I have what it takes to be a world class inspiration leader and I will.

I will use my gift to inspire the masses. I will be able to use my gift to take care of myself and my family one day.

I will stop putting so much pressure on myself to do it all RIGHT NOW.

I just feel like what’s the point of waiting?

I’m going for it RIGHT NOW.

Well, not RIGHT NOW cuz RIGHT NOW I’m about to go to bed.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow I’ll go for it!

And if it doesn’t happen then…

I’ll wake up and try again.

And again…

Until my end…

Amen.