Hurricane Wilma fucked us UP!

It has been 11 days since the storm hit us and we still have no power. I’m trying to be upbeat about it, but honestly, if I wasn’t freaking out and being emotional, I wouldn’t be ME! So allow me to go crazy for a minute!

No more FUCKING cold showers!

No more FUCKING candles and pop tarts and peanut butter and jelly sandwhiches. No more fucking darkness.

They LIED!

Those muthasuckas they LIED! They said that only 22% of Miami was without power. THEY LIED! Last night I drove from Allapattah all the way up to Miami Shores where I live and there were NO LIGHTS ANYWHERE!

It’s all pitch black. Some street lights were working and a FEW traffic lights were working but it was dangerous as hell and I would never try to drive in that mess again. Since none of the traffic lights are working, everyone has to follow the 4-way stop rule when approaching an intersection. Some people are following it, some people aren’t. I pray everytime I get to an intersection that no one comes barrelling through and “bust up” my car, like my sons like to say.
I’m back at work finally. It feels somewhat normal except I know that by 6pm the sky will be turning dark and I’ll spend the next 5 hours in blackness. I dread the end of the day. Sometimes I take a shot of the leftover vodka to help me go to sleep faster. Sometimes it works.

Today schools re opened for the first time since the storm. My kids went back wrinkled as hell and dusty. They haven’t taken a good warm bath in days.

Everyone is still out grilling food. I have no grill. Even if I did, I wouldn’t know what the hell to do. I have no man in my life to come by and check up on me and make sure I have ice and food. Now I wish I hadn’t cursed all those men out. I should have been nicer to them.

Yesterday I saw the FPL men outside my house for the first time and I cried. I left to go get something to eat and when I came back–darkness.

Still darkness.

I’m so upset. I’m so upset. I’m cursing everybody out left and right. I’m even more uptight than I usually am. Don’t call me talkin about some random nonsense. I promise I will curse you out.

I want my lights! I want my microwave. I want to wash my clothes. And most of all- I want my COMPUTER! I want to write and express myself and interact and dream. I need a re-fucking-lease.

I hate everybody right now.

And fuck you if you do have power and you haven’t invited me over to get some a/c and relax. I now know who my real friends are.

And fuck my Baby Daddy too! I called his ass and told him we had no food and that bitch STILL cursed me out talkin bout, “See, that’s why I’m worried about my boys living with you cuz you over react to everything. Why are you so tender?” I’m like WHAT! WE NEED FOOD! He’s like, “Everyvbody is in the same situation. I don’t live in Miami anymore, I’ll be down there when I get there.” That bitch even told me that he must be doing something right because God keeps blessing him.

I HATE HIS ASS!

Prayer is not working. Nothing is working. I feel so powerless.

How much longer will we sit in the dark like this?

Vacation my ass…I can’t take this shit much longer.