Don’t you think for a minute that just because I heard that word I’m joyful about it!
I HATE IT! I HATE IT! I dont want to be up here by myself. I dont want to be alone like this. I dont want to have to beg and form friendships out of obligation. I just want to go home and be a writer and have fun with my friends.
This shit aint easy by a long shot! This hurts so much. Having already been contacted by companies in Miami who want to give me a shot and knowing that is where I want to be, thats messed up. It’s like God is saying, “Na, nani, na, na” You can’t have none of this. You can’t have what you always wanted. You stay your behind right here and do what I say. You be miserable right now cuz that’s where I want you to be. In the long run, it’s for your best.
Well you know what…. wait… I’m shaking over here. I was about to curse God. But my heart is so obedient to His word that I can’t. I have to stay, trembling and hurting, Stay right here.
Damn… I got to stay here.
There has to be some good point to this. God you have to show me a bright spot or I’m gonna go crazy.