As I was doing my interviews for my latest ebook I posed a question: What characteristics do you notice about the men you end up dating that lets you know that he will be submissive?
“That’s a good question, Tee,” my subject replied. “I’ll have to think about it and when I figure it out I’ll let you know but now I really want to know for myself so next time I will avoid it.”
I’m going out on a limb here but from what I gather MOST women want a dominant man and I think it’s because they want to be taken care of instead of always having to take care of the dude.
ANd this is an important revelation that I will reveal in my newest book, if I ever get enough rest to finish writing it. This reflects on my life because I SAY I want a dominant man but I always attract submissive ones. These type of men seek me out because they don’t know how to be dominant and they don’t know how to live their lives to the fullest and when they see those qualities in me they want to learn. But since I want a dominant man I try to treat them like dominant men and they get upset that I adore them and trust their leadership because they know they can’t LEAD.
So that’s why my friend’s marriage isn’t working out. She has a submissive man and she treats him like he’s supposed to be dominant and gets upset because he’s not.
And all the men in my past wanted me to tell them what to do and how to be and I wanted to just adore them for who they are. They needed correction and guidance and I have that to give I just don’t want to have to be like that ALL the time, not at home too.
So this dude I just met this past weekend. I gave him my number because he was so cocky with it. But as I get to know him, it scared me that he is so dominant. He doesn’t take no for an answer because he doesn’t even ASK; he just takes what he wants.
I like that.
But I’m noticing that he’s only like that when it comes to relationships. He doesn’t have that confidence in life so he SEEMS dominant in all the ways I appreciate but I can tell he wants me to teach him and challenge him to be better. I don’t know if I want to do that.
For some reason, I’m meeting a LOT of people lately and they all “like” me. I’m like what is going on?
I’m being my real self and they are enchanted by it. My real self will tell them, “Look, I don’t desire being with you so I don’t have to impress you. I won’t do anything to keep you or make you want me. You’re free to go at any time.”
That just makes them want to stay longer.
You can always tell what type of treatment a person likes by what they complain about from their past relationships.
I used to complain about my BBDD being so rude to me but I never “liked” a guy unless he showed me that same treatment. THAT HAS CHANGED. So this guy LOVES the fact that I had an attitude with him from jump and was cussing him out as soon as I met him. He loves that I am a dick tease and I’m good at it.
But today i called him to complain about his behavior and tell him that he is not what I’m looking for.
“You can blame that on me,” he said quietly. “What can I do to fix it?”
I gasped.
I like that.
“First don’t ever introduce ANYTHING into my life in idea or deed that could potentially be destructive to where I’m trying to go,” I told him.
“Ok.” he said.
Damn.
And when I told him, “I’m probably going to sleep with you and then not talk to you afterwards because I’ll lose respect.” he said, “Well, I know that’s a possibility but I’m willing to take the risk and just ride it til you tell me you don’t want to talk to me anymore.”
I gasped.
I like that. But I don’t know if I feel like teaching him how to be a better man. I see myself taking care of him, working hard while he sits home and does his little career and takes care of the house. If I end up being with a woman, I see the same thing too.
But that’s not what I REALLY want from a man. I just don’t see how any man could be as smart and capable of shining next to me without needing my full guidance.
WHERE THE REAL MEN AT?
I have tons of writing to do, starting with homework. Let me get started. I’m up, I may as well.