The Game of Life
Part III

I’ve finally made my peace with Houston. I’m actually loving this city, meeting great people and riding around town in peace.

You wanna know why?

I choose to.

I choose to walk in peace and expect blessings at every turn.

Because of my newfound direction, I am being spiritually attacked every night through my dreams. Every night since I have started reading this book I wake up in a sweat, exhausted from running away from the fears of my past. Since I won’t allow those old fears to linger for even a moment while I am awake, I see that those negative spirits are still against me, trying desperately to discourage me. But I won’t allow them to.

When I awake I simply say, “Thank you Lord for the gift of today. I believe a miracle is going to happen today and I can’t wait to see what it is!”

Speaking affirmations
Thy will be done this day! Today is a day of completion; I give thanks for this perfect day, miracle shall follow miracle and wonders shall never cease.

Kenya called me early this morning and as usual we shared about our individual journeys to greatness. When I told her about my affirmation of the day she said, “You ever watch the Incredibles?”

“Ofcourse,” I said. “I love that movie!”

“Remember the part when the boy was sitting outside on the bike and his Dad came by and asked him what he was doing? He said, ‘Waiting for something amazing to happen.’ Isn’t that cool?!”

Wow. Imagine what life would be like if instead of waiting for the ball to drop, we waited in excitement for divine connections and promised miracles.

I’m waiting for something AMAZING to happen!

I promise you that ever since I have begun to expect a miracle everyday, EVERY SINGLE DAY I have received one. No lie.

Show financial fearlessness and faith in God. The reasoning mind would say, “Keep every cent you have as you are not sure you will get any more.” The fearless mind would create opportunities for blessing knowing that God is the supplier of my needs and not a job.

My friend Kim is a perfect example of this. She has been wishing and hoping and applying for jobs in Chicago consistently for over a year. Last month she found snow tires on sale and called me to tell me that she was going to put them on her car. She lives in Atlanta and has no use for snow tires and her current tires are absolutely fine. In fact, her current tires are still very valuable because she has a luxury car. Kim went ahead and purchased her tires, believing in faith that she would be moving back to Chicago.

The day she went in to turn in her letter of resignation she called me and told me that the HR department stopped her because she had been called to interview for the exact position that she had been applying for!

Talk about PERFECT TIMING! YAY GOD!

Such is my same case. Remember the night before I had to move out of the condo in Vinings back in Atlanta? That night all I had was a few dollars in my account and nowhere to go but I believed that I was going to Houston and I packed up my car.

At the last minute an angel showed up with an envelope full of money and no strings attached. I made it all the way to Louisiana with that money because I had faith.

When you have a little and you horde it, believe me, you will keep it. But it is those seeds you sow into others and yourself that reap the greater benefit.

Imagine me with my meager savings, waiting anxiously on my first paycheck. After reading this book I ordered 9 more and sowed a seed in others so that they will be blessed too. I can’t wait to see what comes of that!

I fully expect a miracle.

Man’s thoughts, deeds and words, return to him sooner or later with astounding accuracy.

I’ve mentioned before that I KNOW the reason I am blessed today is because I have made a lifestyle of blessing others financially, emotionally and with praise. I have a wonderful, beautiful group of friends who call me consistently to tell me how much I mean to them and that is what keeps me going. We feed each other blessings and we reap the blessings of being true friends.

So I’m sitting here wondering how all of this translates into my romantic relationships. For the life of me I can’t remember being involved with a man and him giving me the love and patience that I was giving to him. But I refuse to believe that my actions were for nothing. One day I will meet an amazing man who will be so patient, so encouraging and so wonderful to me. Believing in me just the way my friends do and loving me just like them. Except he’s going to be fine as fuck. And wealthy as hell. And smart as hell. And love to please me sexually. And love the Lord!

I give what I want to receive. And I will receive what I give. That’s a promise.

Man can only be what he sees himself to be and only attain what he sees himself attain.

This is why I always stress the importance of reading. Reading stretches your imagination and allows your realm of hope to expand.

Ever wonder why kids in the hood who “make it” are often rap stars or ballers?

Guess what they spent their days doing? Watching music videos and ball games. That is what they began to idolize so that is the area in which they defined their success.

Because I was a voracious reader and writer as a young child, my mind was transformed by the written word. If I had been introduced to someone who was an artist and I saw the financial and emotional success of that person, I may be a whole different person.

And it’s okay if your imagination lends itself to simply desire a nice home, financial stability and a happy family. If that is enough for you to be happy, you don’t need to be consumed with trying to “catch up” with your neighbors because they are chasing their dream while you are living yours.

Desire is a tremendous force and must be directed in the right channels, or chaos ensues.

This statement brings to mind the movie THE CRUCIBLE, starring Wynona Ryder. This movie brought to life the events surrounding the Salem Witch Trials where all of these people were killed after being accused of being witches.

Guess what all of this craziness stemmed from?

A group of bored chicks in the woods who felt like they had to dance naked and sing to receive the desires of their hearts. Their desires were so strong, most of them desired a specific young man’s affection, that the whole town was turned upside down. The main character wanted so badly to be with a man who was married. Her desire was manifested and he slept with her and immediately regretted it.

This one act of adultry in a sequence of ensuing events, caused this man’s ultimate death. And guess what the chick did? She dissappeared to another country.

If we want something badly enough and we take action, we will get it. But that’s not always a good thing. I have a good friend who was so adamant about catching her man in the act of cheating that everytime she looked for “clues” she found them and worried herself silly.

If we always get what we look for and we continue to look for the negative in people, hell yeah we’re going to receive that. But it is when we have those strong desires that are in no way connected to our destiny that we experience craziness.

I’m trying and trying to be a model but no one will even look at my pictures. So lemme go try to get on film in a different way. I may have to take off my clothes but maybe someone legit will notice my shine and get me back on the right path.

Or maybe I’d love to have this particular car but it’s not within my budget right now. But those tourists on South Beach have exactly what I want so lemme go catch one of them slipping. You’ll get what you want, but you’ll also reap your reward for that act.

We should all be of the mindset that we only desire what God has for us. Imagine if God had actually answered my many, MANY nights of prayer that me and my Baby Daddy would be back together.

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That’s funny!

Sorry…the thought seems proposterous now but back then I would pray and fast for it. I would cry myself to sleep at night thinking about it. THANK GOD my desire wasnt strong enough. Or thank God his desire was non existent because I would have gotten what I wanted and been joined to the wrong man for the rest of my life or until he killed my spirit.

I don’t want what I want. I want what God wants for me. And God has spectacular things in store for my life. He’s going to help me raise amazing sons of faith who love their mother and are a blessing to people wherever they go.

Faith holds the vision steady and adverse pictures are dissolved and dissipated.

Dang!

This is what Kim was talking about when she said, “Tee, you don’t give yourself enough credit. You have more faith than you think you do.”

She was right. How else could I spend a night in a homeless shelter and walk out crying with joy? How else could I watch my bank account dwindle and still reach out and bless others?

I know without a doubt that God will bless me with plenty one day. So much so that I have promised all of my friends that I will pay for their children’s college educations. That is my gift to them for being great friends. And I believe that 100%.

So even though I’m living like a nomad, bouncing around like no one cares about me. I see the Ms. Tee of my promise and she’s living quite nicely, quite LOVELY, sippin on mixed drinks next to her private pool.

I will be a blessing to others financially. I KNOW IT. I BELIEVE IT. I receive it right now.

I cast this burden of lack on the Christ (within) and I go free to have plenty!

Hell yeah! Guess what I did on Friday?

I went shopping. Not even playin…

I got a nice dress, some new heels and a pedicure. I got my chin waxed (you know I needed it!) and I even got a haircut. I expected that although this money was going to be gone for now, God would replace it when He knew I needed it.

And guess what I woke up and did today? I decided that I would treat myself to a nice lunch at Pappadeaux where the food is sholl nuff good!

I walked up in the piece fighting myself because I really don’t like to spend money like that but I know that I deserve a good meal. I sat down on the patio and waited for my server when two guys and a little boy approached the table.

I looked at them like they were crazy… But then I realized…

I was sitting at their table while they got their food. It turns out that on Sundays there is a buffet brunch. WOW! They invited me to stay and have my meal with them and I was grateful for the company. I shared with them a little about my journey and they shared with me their story.

When one of them accidently knocked over his drink. The dude got up, wiped up the spill and even came around to my side of the table and noticed that a few drops of his drink had landed on my sandaled feet. Dude got on his knees and wiped my feet. I was blowed. He cleaned my feet!

Then he paid for my meal and I left happily.

Thanks GOD!

I cast my burden of a lack of income, love and opportunity on Christ and He has been SOO FAITHFUL to provide.

Doubts and fear poison the mind and body, attracting disaster and disease.

Did I mention that when I left Atlanta I was scared out of my mind. I felt like I was watching someone else’s life as I drove the 7 hours to Lousiana to meet Ruby.

As soon as I got to Louisiana I got sick. I stayed sick for over a month, my body aching and my cootchie going through all kinds of drama.

And remember before I left Miami to move to Atlanta I was in the hospital and sick for so long. It was because my mind was filled with fear and I didn’t know what was going to happen to me and my sons. I attracted disaster with my lack of faith.

So when my girl Kim called me the other day complaining of a headache and a sudden outbreak of acne I was like, “Eww…Girl, what’s going on in your heart? You know those symptoms are merely an indication that your mind is not at peace. If you want your beauty back you better cast your worry on God and trust that He will direct you. Don’t be walking around here looking ugly for no reason!”

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More to come!