Well..what have I been up to where I haven’t been able to post anything?
I’ve been hanging with Tamara’s cousin from Trinidad. At first it started out like a tour guide thing. I love showing off my city and the different spots and events and I make sure people have a good time.
We went to eat at a lot of different places and it seemed that everyday I was going to pick him up and spend time with him. After I spent time with my boys, I picked him up and we went to the nude beach. It was wild!
I had seen it before but never stepped onto it. It’s not like a little island or anything it’s just a section of the beach with a gate and a sign that reads:
Once he and I walked by that sign my eyes almost bugged out. I have never seen so many penis’s in my life! It seems like all of those guys shave all their pubic hair too. Shiny balls swinging and hanging and smiling at me everywhere.
Everyone was naked…just naked. And when we found a spot to spread the blanket my guyfriend got naked too. I was like, “hell naw!” But what I saw made me want to see him again the next day so…I guess it was a good thing he did that.
Let me tell you…at the nude beach, there are mostly couples, gay couples. Like men with men. They walk up and down the beach holding hands and smiling, feeling so free in their gayness and nakedness.
One couple I saw was a black man and a white man just happily walking along and feeling great about life. I could tell. My guyfriend almost freaked out when he saw that. I wasn’t so shocked but realized the importance when he pointed them out.
“A white man and a black man holding hands on a nude beach and they’re gay! You’ll never see that back at home!”
Hmm..I guess you’re right. But this is Miami. I’m desensitized.
There was another couple that I saw when I first got there. As I spread the blanket I looked at the Black lady’s smooth back and soft shoulders. She and a white man were facing the ocean and just sitting there quietly so I couldn’t see their faces.
“If I had a body like that I would be naked too,” I said to myself.
A while later my guyfriend and I turned around and saw the couple about to leave. I almost choked on my Corona when the woman stood up and pack of dark brown testicles fell from her lap.
HELL NAW!
Guyfriend, who I’ll call Guy, wanted a picture of us and I tried to take one but it wasn’t coming out right. A random naked man came by and offered to take the picture. We let him. After he wanted to know our names and where we were from. It didn’t feel right. Two naked men introducing themselves with me in the middle. Didn’t.Feel.Right. LOL!
Did I get naked?
Be for real.
No one wants to see all this.
Afterwards we sat in the car blowed at the experience. Guy said it was freeing and it changed who he is. Guy is not someone I would normally be attracted to because he’s a Trini boy with dreads and he’s very skinny and has this accent that I cna not decipher but…he is so sweet.
Like..he does everything right. Everything. He fills up my gas tank each time we go out. He takes me to eat whenever I’m hungry no questions asked, whatever I like. He makes sure I’m okay before he makes sure he’s okay. He always sweats me and tells me how sexy I am and how my hard work is going to pay off soon.
He’s so smart and sweet and patient. You know I tried his ass and at the time I didn’t know why.
So we had a great time every day and things were clicking between us. Although with his accent I had to say, “What did you say?” after every sentence, he patiently explained it again to me.
So one night I went to pick him up and we decided to go back to my house. But when we got here everything just changed. I think it was the lighting but my whole vibe just changed and he was looking weird to me and I didn’t want him to even sit next to me.
When I’m feeling like that I’m sorry for the man in question because I don’t pull punches. Even if we were just making out in the car once my mood changes I’m done and you can’t even sit close enough to breathe on me.
He was looking at me like I was crazy. “Don’t touch me,” I told him. “It doesn’t feel right.”
So we sat there, me wishing he would leave and him wondering what happened to our vibe.
“Did I change?” I asked him.
He nodded his head. “Why?”
“I don’t know.”
“Did you stop liking me when you woke up this morning?” he asked.
“No.”
“Was it when I called you to see if you slept okay?”
“No.”
“Was it when I called you back to tell you I was ready?”
“No. I was excited to see you. I have a good time with you.”
“Did it happen when we got back here?” he asked.
I paused. “I think so. I don’t feel right having you here.”
“Why is that?”
“I don’t know,” I said.
“Didn’t you say you felt bad about not having paid your rent yet?”
“Yeah.
“And your roommates are here and you feel guilty don’t you?”
“Yes.”
“Where most people who have worked things out would probably just let it go, you can’t do that because the type of person you are makes you feel bad that you can’t hold to your end of the agreement. Right?”
“Yeah,” I hung my head in shame.
“Then it may just be the environment. Let’s go.”
We got up, hopped into my car and drove back to his cousin’s house. There we took a sleeping bag and spread it out and sat under the stars and puffed and talked until we both fell asleep. I blinked twice when I heard a noise and the sun was hitting me in the face.
He was right. I was more relaxed away from my house. Wow. He was right.
He is so nice. And he likes me…a lot. In fact, I couldn’t believe it when he said the very words that I had said to Steve.
“You got me,” he said and clutched his hand to his chest over his heart.
I laughed and laughed. I remember that feeling. That’s the feeling of being in love for no reason.
He is so nice yet I am not goo goo over him. I appreciate him. I’m glad he’s gone back to Trinidad because if he were here, I would have a boyfriend. I’m not ready for that yet.
I am really, just grateful to meet someone who didn’t have one complaint about me, who listened to me, made me a priority and loved everything about me. For a week I felt like I was the center of his universe…
I like that…
I want more of that…
Thanks Universe! He was a nice ‘sign of land’ for me in my quest for true romantic love…
I’m open.