My friend called me last night, frustrated and depressed. She felt like she was surrounded by people, yet still all alone. She wondered aloud why people couldnt love her the way she loved them. Why all of her friends have moved on and she’s still where she started. Why those who love her most, live so many miles away.
I couldnt even comfort her. I feel the same way. Sometimes I wish things could be like they were before. Then I didnt even appreciate it. I was lost in my own world, stuck up under my boyfriend, and I regret not spending more time with my friends when I could. Now, those same chicks still love me and the man is gone and I’m wishing I had more memories of time with them to help my nights go by smoother.
Sometimes I just wanna sit and talk freely. I’m tired of talking to people who have to front like they are perfect and It’s all good. I’m tired of the fake smiles. Women going through drama and acting like it doesnt phase them, knowing that they cry at night. I know.
I’m so tired of being different, being known as the one who is REAL. That’s crazy! All of my friends are like that. We say whats on our minds, its not a big deal. Why is my honesty refreshing? Have you spent your lives around ppl who are faking every moment of their existence? I havent.
Then I rememberd this email my girl Jenny V. sent to me. It was called being Twenty-Something, author unknown. I’ll share it with you. It wont make things better, but it’ll help you to see that where you are now, is a stage in life, and like all stages, it has an end.
Being Twenty-Something
They call it the “Quarter-life Crisis.” It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are a lot of things about yourself that you didn’t know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.
You start realizing that people are selfish and that maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren’t exactly the greatest people you have ever met and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you do not realize is that they are realizing that too and are not really cold or catty or mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.
You look at your job. It is not even close to what you thought you would be doing or maybe you are looking for one and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and are scared. You miss the comforts of college, of groups, of socializing with the same people on a constant basis. But then you realize that maybe they weren’t so great after all.
You are beginning to understand yourself and what you want and do not want. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging a bit more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and add things to your list of what is acceptable and what is not.
You are insecure and then secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.
You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you or you lie in bed and wonder why you can’t meet anyone decent enough to get to know better. You love someone but maybe love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you are not a bad person.
One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap and getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision.
You worry about loans and money and the future and making a life for yourself and while winning the race would be great, right now you’d just like to be a contender!
What you may not realize is that most people relate to it. After all, we are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.
