Author: TPatterson

I’m ALL THAT

It’s taken me a minute to realize that I am quite a woman!

No, no, you don’t understand. I never give myself props for anything except being a good writer. I never really thought I was pretty, though I’d say it to myself because others did. I never actually admitted that I am smart. I made up excuses like, “This must just be really easy.” I recognized my faults more clearly than my assets. But for some reason, today I woke up thinking, damn, you’re tight work. I decided to catalogue reasons why I am a great catch, just so I can remind myself on my rough days.

Top 10 Reasons Why I’m ALL THAT

1. I’m 5’2″ (short women are naturally cuter)

2. Someone tells me I’m beautiful EVERY DAY

3. I’m down for whateva

4. I am a great Mom (my sons fight over who gets to sleep in my arms)

5. I’m always honest and people find it endearing

6. I make pretty babies (and I want more!)

7. When I’m down for you, you don’t need anyone else in your corner

8. Jesus thinks I’m special

9. I have “it”- Star Quality

10. I can drop it likes it’s hot

Yay!

I am enjoying myself so much these days. My girls are in town and we are tearing this city up!

Know what it feels like? It’s as if firecrackers have gone off in my heart. Like I just won a beauty pageant. Like the person I’ve been in love with for years, just told me that they love me too.

I feel good for no apparent reason.

And I’m loving it!

Guess What I Heard?

Miami Won!

What did u really think was gonna happen?

Best Week EVER

Can I just say life is getting better and better?

Over the last week I have had soooo much fun! I have hung out EVERY SINGLE NIGHT! I see why the Lord blessed me with two sons, because if I didnt have them I would be too loose.

It’s really indescribable. I am so happy! I feel so beautiful. I love my friends sooo much! I don’t even have the energy to write about everything that has happened… aww, you know I can’t leave you hanging like that.

So it all began last Tuesday night. I have been working this customer service job at night but they are so cool, they let me out early WITH pay while I am training. One this particular night I got off early, around 8pm and I decided to head to the local grocery store to see who was there.

Come on, I don’t know about ya’ll but the grocery store is DA SPOT! The last time I was up in there, oh my gosh, there were so many chocolate delights up in there! And I remember I was up in the seafood line and I turn around and there were like, 5 light skinned chicks right behind me. And they’re in cute jogging pants and flip flops, hair up in ponytails, manicured toes and all. Ofcourse with all of us standing in one line, the men came to stand around too.

It felt like the club. Everyone smiling and laughing and checking each other out.

I was like, damn! Eye candy tastes so sweet! I love looking at men.

So on this night I drove over to Winn Dixie and as soon as I got out I bumped into this guy in the parking lot. I was wearing my green sweater that matches my eyes, some blue jeans and black square toed boots. Nothing fancy. I was just comfortably cute.

So I walk by this guy and smile. He’s kinda cute. He almost walks into the wall turning to look at me. I wonder who else is up in the store. I go through my mind to see what I could possibly need to buy out of this store and I remember that we’re out of pancake syrup.

So off I go to find some pancake syrup. But I can’t find it anywhere. I bump into him next to the cereal aisle.

“Hey, Hey, Hey… How are you tonight?”

“I’m good,” I say and keep stepping.

“You LOOK good. Can I walk with you?”

“Well, only if you can help me find the pancake syrup.”

“Let’s do this,” he says and signals to the guy he was with that he’ll catch him later.

“You are a very beautiful woman. Your man is so lucky.”

I smile and say nothing.

We roll through all of the aisles and neither of us can find the pancake syrup. I don’t think they had it or we must have been blind.

We’re just chatting and he asks for my number so I give it to him.

“When is a good time to call?”

“After 9.”

At 9:06 my phone rings.

“Hey, how are you? I hope you aren’t busy this evening. I would love to see you,” he said.

“I don’t know, let me call you back.”

I call Tamara and she tells me she wants to go out. She wants to go play pool. I’m not a pool player but I’m down to hang out so I tell her about meeting up with the guy and I call him back and tell him to meet us at this bar called Billy’s on Biscayne.

He arrives after we do. He has brought the guy he was with at the store, who turned out to be his brother. We’re on vodka and cranberry tonight and the bartender is mixing them just right. After the first one I’m feeling lovely and kinda ignoring the guy, who we’ll call Mike. I’m just excited to see my bestfriend Tamara and we’re having too much fun giggling at all of the gay guys in the bar. Well, they look gay to us. Ofcourse we question whether every guy is on the down low these days.

By the end of the night while watching Mike get his butt whooped on the pool table- how embarrassing-I am feeling all grown because I’m in a bar, looking all nice, with my girl and we’re having drinks. Having drinks in a bar with yr girl, now if that ain’t some grown up ish I don’t know what is!

Before we leave Mike gives me this big hug that’s too long and too tight and whispers in my ear, “You are so beautiful. I hope to get to know you better. I want to see you again really soon.”

Before I even walk out the bar, I already know that this is the last time I will ever see him. I’m not feeling him. He curses when he talks. I know I curse sometimes jokingly or for emphasis, but I think it is so ugly when a man curses in every sentence.

Bye Bye Mike.

On Thursday night I get invited out by this other guy I met. He wants me to meet him at this club in Broward County called Cafe Iguana. I call my girl Tamara and we roll out. But first, we have to stop by and see her old highschool flame. Dude is looking tasty, but my girl is looking even better. I can see it in his eyes, he’s still in love.

It’s late, around 1:30 am when we leave his house. By the time we reach Cafe Iguana, it’s already after 2 am. The entire place is packed. The VIP line and the regular line are JAMMED with ppl. It felt like thousands of ppl were there. We’re driving through the line in Tamara’s SUV and I’m checking out the guys. Wow. Not a nappy head in sight! Not a gold tooth. Not a pair of boxers showing! No dirty shoes. These men are precise! Chico’s, Haitians, Blacks and Whites.

We finally find a parking spot and get out. I’m wearing a black off the shoulder sheer blouse with some cream fitted pants and black heels. I accent my outfit by wearing a red lace choker and matching bracelet that matches my lip stick. Ofcourse my hair is too precise and my makeup is on point with sparkly gold highlights on my eyes. The night air is warm and inviting.

Tamara is wearing a backless cream top that plunges longer on the bottom of one side creating a jagged effect. She has on cuffed blue jeans and amazing cream heals. Tamara is one of those all natural beauties. She looks good in everything. Some women can’t wear certain clothes, like maybe mini skirts or even dresses, but Tamara has the perfect figure so she looks great in everything.

So we began our walk through the parking lot. The walk through the parking lot is almost the main event. It is the time to strut your stuff because everyone is posted up at their cars looking at you. They’re watching you as you walk, looking at your outfit and your mannerisms, so now it’s time to play it cool and step carefully.

Before we know it we had entered the zone. This is the area closest to the entrance to the club, with the largest concentration of people on both sides. It’s as if you are walking down a run way.

Without knowing it we entered the zone and we heard the murmurs of the crowd. We hear them whispering, “Dammmmnnnn” We see them smile approvingly and our hearts beat fast. Every single thing we are wearing and doing is on display for scrutiny. I strut and smile as if my life depended on it. Tamara is holding it down as well.

My eyes get wide as I realize how long the zone is. I’m hoping that I don’t trip and bust my behind! As we walk past the various groups of men checking us out, I shoot them a look that says, “Yeah, it’s like that.”

We finally stop and post up (stand around) with this guy that Tamara knows. He’s one of the many men in love with her.

The rule is, never wait in line for long. If we can’t get into a club within like 10-15 minutes then we won’t go in. We don’t wait in long lines. That is not cool.

So we don’t even go in. We post up for about a half hour and I see the guy who asked me to meet him there. We’ll call him Rick. I could tell he was trying to like, be all up on me but I wasn’t in the mood. He’s not that cute.

So I tell him I’m leaving and Tamara and I follow her friend to a house party even further up in Broward. I have never been to a house party that was so..ugly. EVERY SINGLE GUY up in that party was oogly. Not ONE was even remotely cute. All of the chicks were bad bodied and ugly in the face. Tamara and I were like, damn, what the hell is this?

It was some crazy mess. How can ALL of your friends be ugly? Wow. It was like another planet or something. The planet of the Uglies.

We left that dungeon after only 20 minutes and began the drive home. We know Anna works at night so we called her to check up on her and her voicemail has a man’s voice saying, “Holla back.” We’re both like WTF?!!!

Our girl don’t roll like that. A nicca on her answering machine! Hell naw…

More about my beautiful Christmas break later, I’m heading out.

I love Miami, ya’ll. So much to do, so many people to see…

My Wedding Dream

Last night I dreamt that I was getting married. Everyone that I had ever known showed up. Even some people from Gainesville that I no longer speak to. My baby daddy was even there. No one was dressed up as they showed up for my wedding.

I remember standing there in this ridiculous white wedding gown and BLACK strappy heels. The dress was a spaghetti strap white dress with a mini skirt and a long train. I actually had HAIR in this dream too. I guess it was a wig or a weave or something.

The weird thing about it is I didn’t know the man I was marrying. I didn’t have any feelings for him or anything. I kept thinking to myself, “Am I really going to do this?”

We stood at the altar and I remember kissing him and everyone clapping. We went back to our hotel room which was beautiful and he spoke to me. My eyes grew wide as I assessed this stranger. He was about 5’9″ pretty slim and light skinned. I thought that was weird since I’m not into light skinned guys like that. But the really crazy thing was the fact that he had an accent. It was a weird accent and anyone who knows me will tell you that I’m NOT into guys with accents. I can’t understand what they are saying and it frustrates me.

I look at him and he gives me a hug and says, “Look at the wifey.” I blush. Am I really someone’s WIFE?! Whoa!

When I woke up I freaked out. I had always heard that dreaming of a wedding meant death. And if you see yourself in a wedding dress that meant that YOU were going to die soon.

Tamara called me this morning while she was waiting to board her plane and I told her my dream. She confirmed everything that I had thought.

I began to think about all of the people who know me and how sad they would be if I died. It feels great to say that a lot of people love me and I play a major role in the lives of my friends. My presence on this earth has blessed people through my craziness, my honesty and my good nature. I am so glad that I am alive. I don’t want to die.

Tamara suggested that I look up the meaning of my dream online. Here is what I found:

Wedding

To see a wedding in your dream, symbolizes a new beginning or transition in your current life. Dreams involving weddings are generally negative and highlight some anxiety or fear. It often refers to feelings of bitterness, sorrow, or death. Alternatively, wedding dreams reflect your issues about commitment and independence.



To dream that you are getting married to your current spouse again, represents your wedded bliss and happiness. It highlights your strong commitment to each other. It may also signify a new phase (such as parenthood) that you are entering in your life.

To dream that you are planning your own wedding to someone you never met, is a metaphor symbolizing the union of your masculine and feminine side. It represents a transitional phase where you are seeking some sort of balance between your aggressive side and emotional side.

Wedding Clothes

To see wedding clothes in your dream, signifies new friends and pleasurable undertakings.

Marriage

To see a marriage in your dream, signifies commitment, harmony or transition. You will undergo an important developmental transitional phase. It may also represent the unification of formerly separate or opposite aspects of yourself. In particular, it may represent the union of masculine or feminine aspects of yourself.



I felt a little better after reading this, but not much. The crazy thing is I never allow myself to fantasize about my wedding. It’s too much pressure for a woman who doesn’t even have anyone in the running for a mate.

I try not to look too much into my dreams, but I dream vividly every night and I always remember what I dream. Last night’s dream has me feeling a bit weary though.

Hmmm…

Another Chance to Shine

My baby daddy just called. He’s fourty-five minutes away from Miami. He’s bringing my boys back after a week-long visit in Orlando. I just got back in from shopping. Boy, it feels nice to shop again. All this double job working has finally paid off.

I bought some streamers and noise makers and balloons for my sons. We’re gonna party tonight! This will be their first New Year celebration because usually they’re asleep and I’m sitting up sipping on rum and coke and wondering why the hell I am all alone. But not this year. This year I’ll be with my family and dancing with my sons. We have some wine and cheese to nibble on and my Mama and I are gonna get loose! LOL!

I am so appreciative of my parents for allowing me to come home with my sons. They get on my nerves sometimes but they are just being parents and I have never had so much fun as I am having since I’ve been back in Miami. There’s nothing like having your family and friends around to love on you.

2004 was wild. This time last year I had just graduated from college and wondering what I was gonna do with my life. Who knew that one year later I would be living in Miami again and would have gone through 5 different jobs?

My hopes for the New Year?

I hope I find a good church home to raise my sons in. Church is supposed to feel like family and I want my sons to experience that because I never have.

I hope to figure out what to do with all this sexual tension. I am one horny chica, but with no options for a quick release. Well I guess that’s a good thing. I don’t have to worry about STD’s or unplanned pregnancies.

I hope for financial stability and mental clarity.

I hope for success and happiness for my friends.

I hope to be a positive influence on the people around me.

I hope to be alive this time next year.

For you I hope that you realize that this is YOUR life to live. Break free from the shackles of the influence of those around you and dare to live for yourself. Every decision you face is yours to live with so don’t be afraid. You’re capable. You’re smart. You can choose wisely.

Much love to you as we embrace a brand new year.

It’s all an uphill battle. It’s okay to rest a minute but never stop climbing. It’s your turn to shine. Make your mark on this world.

Do your thang!

2005?

Doesn’t really feel like a New Year although my boys and I had so much fun bringing the New Year in. By 12:12 we were all knocked out. Sorry I missed all those New Years phone calls, but it’s all love.

This holiday has been amazing. I hung out with my two bestfriends in the whole world so many times, I could probably go half a year without seeing them again. See, I’m not a high maintenance friend. A phone call a month and maybe a visit a year and I’m straight. I have too many homegirls to do that daily blab on the phone thing. Although I do have one friend that I IM everyday, my chick Dianna.

But THIS holiday I had so much fun with my family and my friends families. You know how your bestfriend’s family throws a party and you know it’s gonna be so much food and cute cousins to flirt with, well that’s how it is with my girls.

Christmas Day

On Christmas day I woke up late. I had just got home around 9 a.m. Let’s just blame Anna for my late night. I knew my Mama wasn’t cooking so I called Anna to see if any food was ready over her house. She said she’d call me when it was. I chose an outfit. Nothing fancy. Just a simple summer dress, it was kinda warm out and I got the call from Anna saying I better get there quick.

I grabbed my little sister, (she was hungry too) and we rode down to Brown Subs where Anna lives. We both almost cried when we saw the turkey, ham, mac n cheese, collared greens, green beans and millions of pies. Food is sooo good!

We hung out a little after we ate. We didn’t want it to seem like we just came to eat. LOL! But ofcourse my other bestfriend Tamara had invited me to her house for her family’s Christmas party.

On the way there we drove through my old neighborhood, Liberty City. We rode by my old middle school, ahh, Drew Middle, and we drove by the meat stoe (yes I said meat STOE, not store) and we drove by the Pork N Beans projects, my highschool sweetheart used to live in those projects. When we got to 62nd and 12th ave I got this devilish thought.

Suprise for my Baby Daddy

My baby daddy told me that he would be at his grandfathers house which was in the area, maybe I should stop by and..you know…say Merry Christmas to my sons who I wouldn’t see again until they came back on New Years Eve.

I turned the corner and spied my baby daddy’s truck. True, they were there. Now when he and I were together I had visited his family several times. They all knew me but ofcourse I had not seen them since we broke up. My little sister laughed as I parked in front of his truck and got out.

“Do I look straight?” I asked her.

“You’re straight.” she replied and laughed.

As I walked up to the gate there was a young woman standing there. When she saw me approach she smiled and greeted me.

“Hi. You must be (baby daddy’s girlfriend- we’ll call her Hyper Chick).”

I smile and bat my eyes at her.

“No, I’m not, but hello to you too.”

I keep stepping past her and knock on the door.

When the door opens I can hear a collective gasp go around the room. I step in as if I’m on a stage and my sons run past me to hug my sister. Darn kids!

“Hello.” I say. It was more of an announcement than a greeting. I hear my baby daddy’s voice say, “Is that Hyper Chick?”

I see him turn toward the door and frown. I immediately began hugging and greeting everyone in the house, including my son’s paternal grandmother. I’m wondering why they look so shocked when it hit me- whoa- they all must have been waiting for Hyper Chick to arrive and here I am THE BABY MAMA, waltsing in without an invitation or any advanced warning.

Ooh!

One of my baby daddy’s aunts ask me to sit down and join them for their Christmas program. I smile and decline. I know what she’s trying to do. I saw her in a drug store a few months ago and she went on and on about how much Hyper Chick annoys them and they don’t like her because she’s too “hyper”. Her words, not mine.

Out of the corner of my eye I see my baby daddy and his Mama making a beeline for the door. Are they trying to go outside to warn Hyper Chick that I was there?

No, not on Christmas Day. I wouldn’t have started anything with that chick. Prolly would have just given her a stank look and kept walking.

Why the stank look, you ask?

There’s a bit of history between she and I.

She began dating my baby daddy while he and I were still living together and I was pregnant with our first child.



She continued dating him after he dumped me when I was pregnant with our second child. I would have to go to his house and see her there with my son and his daddy. All the while I was still in love with him and carrying baby number 2. That really hurt.



That hoe TRIED me at my children’s dedication at church. While we were IN CHURCH. I cordially walked up to her and extended my hand saying “Hey, let’s not be bitter today.” To which she responded, “Don’t play fake with me. I’m not scared of you so you just better stay out of my face!”



My baby daddy invited me to Orlando for a party he was throwing for my son and forgot to mention that she was going to be there. I got over it. Didn’t speak to her though. She called herself trying to confront me about whatever. Come one now, I was about to fight, cursed her out! I look like the crazy baby mama once again.

Honestly I have nothing against her. My sons say she is nice. I’m sure she’s sweet. I just think that had she been some new woman that he met AFTER we broke up for the second time I would be a bit more open to it. But because I know she was there while I was pregnant, man, I lost all respect. How can you date someone who has a baby on the way? I don’t care what the man tells you about how she was a one night stand, how he doesn’t love her or whatever, dude, there HAS to be someone with some hurt feelings in the situation.

Woman to woman, how would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot?

I would NEVER do that. Unless I am desperate and want to hold on to the only man who has ever paid me any attention.

Ooh.. I didn’t mean to make this post about this mess. Sorry. ~cringing~

I mean, this is OLD news. 2005… no more baby daddy drama ( I hope) and no run-ins with Hyper Chick.

I’m trying to write about the holiday parties.

Tamara’s party

Well, after we left their house, (no sign of Hyper Chick) we went over to Tamara’s house. Tamara’s family is different from Anna’s. They try to be a little more elegant about things. Evryone was dressed up and sipping champagne and playing games while at Anna’s house everyone was watching the Lakers play The Heat.

My lil sis and I drooled over the appetizers in the kitchen. Strawberries and chocolate. Cherries. Some crazy stuff we never heard of. Since Tamara is Trinidadian, there are ALWAYS crazy looking foods that seem so weird to me. But I am pretty open minded and I’ll try anything once.

I make plates for my Mama and around 10pm I’m done partying and sipping on egg nog.

New Years Party

I spent New Years with my own family. I just happened to stop by my aunt’s house on Saturday evening to say Hi and let her see my sons and when I get there there’s all this food and liquor.

“Uh, this looks like a party.” I say to one of my aunts.

“Every year Linda has this party for her birthday. Go home and get dressed and come back.”

“True.”

Ain’t no party like a family party!

First of all, my family is so wild! I mean my female cousins will KNOCK U OUT if you try them, but they’re so cute too. I always admired them because they have the whole Miami ghetto fabulous look down. Hair weave tight! Nails done right! Outfit like whoa! Always in fashion. I was never like that.

Actually, if they weren’t my cousins, we prolly wouldn’t be friends. That’s how different we are. But fact is, we ARE cousins, so don’t try me because I’ll call em and they carry blades. LOL!

Man, I have not enjoyed myself more. My cousin Bookie was the bartender and when I walked up she announced, “My job is to make sure everyone here is COMPLETELY DRUNK!”

We’re all in the living room dancing and laughing and just vibing off of being togther. We’ve seen each other grow up, mess up and wise up and now we’re just a bunch of grown-ups with our kids, trying to hold it down.

I love my peeps. I am so glad to be around to enjoy them for while.

There is ABSOULUTELY nothing like having friends and family around. Just that fact makes my days brighter and my reality easier to cope with.

Much Love in 2005!

Working Hard or Hardly Working?

A sista will be scarce around these parts due to extreme hours of work. Or maybe I’ll find a way to blog from work, who knows.

My shortest post ever. Wow. This one’s for the history books, ya’ll.

Well, they done did it!

My friends Stephanie and Jason are finally getting married. They met almost 10 years ago and went through the ups and downs of college and growing up and moving on with their lives. I knew it would happen, but I didn’t know it would affect me like this.

People I know are getting married…Wow.

As I perused her wedding website my heart dropped. I’m getting old. People are getting married. People are building homes. Why do I still feel like a jit?

Honestly, the thing that really bothered me was the fact that Stephanie and Jason are mutual friends of me and my baby daddy’s. He and I had the same circle of friends while in college. So, my baby daddy is going to be in the wedding. So I know I have to see him there. I don’t want to be within 2 feet of that man.

Can you believe it’s putting a damper on my excitement for my sorority sister? I don’t hate my baby daddy. But being in his presence puts me on the defensive because I know he’s always talking smack about me.

Surprise, It’s a Miracle!

UltraMag received such a wonderful blessing I had to showcase it.

I am so happy for you chica. I hope for all the same things you hoped for. Because you received your blessing, I know mine is on the way. Thanks for giving me hope, making me cry and smile.

Much Love,

Tee

You Can Hate Me Now

I’m walking into my night job and I’m happy as usual because I like being there. I pass by this group of Black women and I smile and say Hi. They mumble their response and look away. I raise my eyebrow and stroll on. Must be having a bad day…



In the morning I drop off my sons at their school. Two Black female teachers that I have never met are standing outside. “Goodmorning,” I say. One walks past me without saying a word. The other says “Goodmorning.” and rolls her eyes.



I walk into a room full of people I don’t know well. One woman immediately starts to whisper to her friend and guestures toward me. They laugh. When I am within range of this woman I smile and say Hi. During our conversation she makes all kind of catty comments about women with afro’s and even the mentions the whole “house slave” thing.



I once had a friend tell me, “You know, after knowing you, I sometimes forget you are light-skinned.”

While generally, I’ve never had a problem with women I didn’t know, I can’t understand how someone can stereotype me because of the color of my skin.

In school I was always treated like I was someone special. EVERY YEAR, by EVERY teacher. I was always the teachers pet, always the class helper, etc. When I got older, around middle school I began to learn more about skin color differences and how guys treated light skinned girls differently (better).

As always, my nature had me rooting for the underdog, and I began to resent being light skinned. I couldn’t accept that I was just “sparkly”. Every time I won an award or a guy liked me I chalked it up to them just trying to give me favor because I was Red.

I hated it. If FOR ONE MINUTE, I thought a guy liked me because I had green eyes, I don’t care how fine he was, I wouldn’t give him the time of day.

In highschool I would sit on the bus stop with my girls Tamara and Anna, all 3 of us sucking lollipops with our legs crossed and matching sunglasses. As guys would approach me or typically in Miami they just yell out the car window, “Hey REDDD!” I would think to myself, “Would they still holla if I was darker?”

I think it goes back to my self esteem issue. For some reason I couldn’t allow myself to celebrate how great I was. I made up excuse after excuse for why I was successful and why people liked me. I didn’t allow myself to accept that I was great.

Over the years I actually tried to make sure that every woman knew I wasnt stuck up, especially dark-skinned women. I would be extra friendly and extra happy. I didn’t have any light skinned friends because I didnt want to be a part of a group of girls that were sterotypically cute. Does that make sense? I know its weird, but I didn’t want to be in the light skinned group. I felt like I had to apologize for being who I am and looking the way I do. And to prove I was cool, I stayed away from those who people deemed siddity and stuck up. I developed my own resentment for light skinned women as can be recognized in my steadfast Alicia Keys hating.

But seriously ya’ll, I’m so tired of dodging. I’m tired of ducking. I’m tired of hiding. I’m tired of trying to downplay my personality just so the next woman will feel better about herself. I’m tired of trying to prove to women that I’m still down even though I’m Red.

This grouping by pigment is too much! I mean, you don’t even know me and you already you decide you don’t like me. Or you just met me and already you decide you want to be my friend because we have the same skin color and level of cuteness.

What can I do if you don’t think you are as pretty as I am? I look pretty because I TRY to look good. If you tried you would feel better too. I’m not going to let your rudeness bother me anymore. You don’t want to speak to me, so be it. You want to whisper about me, go ahead. It’s you who are missing out on knowing a cool azz chick and possibly having a great friend.

I’m tired of feeling sorry about the way I look.

Hate me if you want to. Child please, I already have great friends. Friends who are secure enough to hang with a cool chick, cuz they’re cool themselves.