Still transitioning. I finally passed my Red Lobster tests and I have to serve the manager before I am allowed to join the real servers. I’m learning a lot on my way to becoming a seafood expert- LOL!
Everybody at work is cool so far. I just wonder what these tips are gonna look like. Denny’s was so down home and relaxed and I just vibed with my customers, these customers are hoping for a different experience but I trust that I can bring my swagger when the time comes.
Im still being supported by my guy friend. He’s the same, a sweetie and teaching me what it’s like to be taken care of by a man. I never thought this would happen although for some reason I always imagined it for myself.
I can never go back to what I had with the other guys in my past. This man is showing me what it’s like to be with someone who recognizes my prize, cuz I never recognized it before. By the time he and I are done doing whatever it is that we are doing, helping each other come up, I believe I will be more relaxed around men and expect good things from them. We’ll see how that goes.
I went to see my Daddy today. Haven’t seen him since I was about 19 or so. I was afraid to see him because in my mind he’s “Daddy” yet I have not used that term outside of sex since he left when I was 7. But I went and we vibed and talked and After chilling with him I realize that life is life…
If you mess up sometime, just try to do better next go round.
I miss my friend DEEP. We rarely ever speak. I’m not a night owl like I used to be and now I have this man in my life so…you know how it goes. I remember the fun times we used to have on the phone and hanging out in the streets of Miami. I remember him introducing me to everyone on the scene and enjoying every minute of it. I also remember being hurt a lot, but that was my fault.
It’s so wild because just before I met the new guy, I was on the phone with DEEP and I was crying about whatever and I told him, “I just feel like my life is going in a new direction and I feel like you’re not gonna be a part of that.”
This new guy reminds me of DEEP in the direction they want to go in life. They believe they are healers and want to uplift communities. They both believe they are going to die at a young age. They are both entertainers. They are even the same age. The biggest difference is that when the new guy and I have a disagreement or difference of opinion, he doesn’t yell or talk down to me. When we talk, we talk for understanding, not to be right or to win. I like that.
I’m watching the Color Purple on BET right now. Haven’t seen this movie in forever. In my mind I want to cry. I haven’t had much reason to cry lately but I guess I’m so used to being sad that my body is aching for a release. I hope the ending scene where Celie and Nettie will allow me to drum up enough emotion to release whatever is in my heart right now.