So now I can’t sleep because I let my guyfriend Carr come over and we were drinking and I chose a movie to watch on Netflix which he didn’t want to watch but he only agreed if he could choose the next movie. I said OK but I really wasn’t gonna let him choose.
So we watched THE MAN FROM EARTH. This is a GREAT MOVIE! OMG! Its a movie for thinkers though. There’s no action and the entire movie takes place in one room. I’ve watched it just ONCE before and this time I still enjoyed it again.
Anyway, after the movie we ran out to get some BK and then when we got back he chose a movie called Falling Down with Michael Douglas. Abut 30 minutes into the movie I remembered it from somewhere. Then it hit me. Oh shit! Back when I was in grad school so long long ago – LOL – my professor showed us a clip of this movie as an example of paranoia.
This movie MADE MY DAMN ANXIETY COME BACK!
I was so mad!
I TOLD Carr, I don’t wanna watch anything with violence in it, it makes my chest hurt. He just laughed like I was joking.
I was so upset because all day I was celebrating because it had been TWO FULL DAYS with no anxiety. TWO FULL DAYS! That NEVER happens. Then he goes and chooses a movie that has senseless violence and anger and aggression and all of a sudden I’m laying on the bed and I hear myself go, “I’m sorry.”
I was like FUCK!
Then 5 minutes later, “I’m sorry.”
FUCK!
Now my chest won’t stop burning. He’s long gone and I guess I’m kinda upset but still excited because—
I finished a promotional video for my website!
It only took a couple of hours. Finding the song took an hour by itself but it’s worth it and I love watching this.
In my mind, my website is THE premiere source of news, information and inspiration for women around the world.
I feel like it’s already happened so I’m just acting accordingly by helping it transform into its destiny.
All of my interview subjects have been agreeing to do interviews! I AM SO EXCITED! SHIT!
I love doing interviews and asking good questions and writing the story out. Its not hard at all. in fact, nothing about anything I’ve been doing with this website is hard. Some stuff I know nothing about but I just learn as I go. I wish I knew graphic design and web design cuz boy if I did my site would be TOO CRAZY!
TOO CRAZY drill seargent! LOL
Anyway, I’m gonna go watch my video a million more times before I go to sleep.
I hope one day, you can feel as wonderful as i feel right now. Well, despite the anxiety. Man, I think when you find something you love, or someone, hold on to it. Make it as grand and as wonderful as you can. Imagine that its YOUR BIG BREAK.
That makes all the difference. I’m working this website like my whole future depends on its success. =)
And I’m loving every minute of it.