I want some fried chicken.
Some greasy Church’s chicken that comes 2 pieces for a dollar. So random. But that’s how I’m feeling right now.
My head is spinning. This internship is teaching me so much about counseling and the whole process behind it. Now I see the light.
I see the light.
I now understand why he said what he said. I see why he did what he did.
I wouldn’t do the same but I see. It still bothers me though. I’m trying to make sense of everything that’s on my plate. I’m behind on my homework already and I have to finish getting all my paperwork and certifications and I do manage to smile a few times a day because people are so funny.
My supervisor at my on campus internship is a tiny little woman with a LOT of knowledge. I feel like we’re being hazed. We can’t have a session without being interrupted a million times by the phone. Correction. Correction.
None of us have gotten it right yet. But every correction makes us better. I had no idea this was so hard. I can’t even sit in session without thinking of my counselor and now I see how good he was.
When he was counseling ME, he never seemed to even look at his watch yet he knew exactly when to end the session and he ended it so succintly. I can’t figure out how to do that yet.
Discussion. Discussion. Notes. Notes.
And then I have so many writing projects on the table. I’m always spearheading some new idea. I’m trying to keep up with it all but I’m behind on my writing and my reading and I haven’t produced a new article in a week.
I’m tired. Running from bus to bus. Standing in the sun and the cold.
My head is cold. My legs are tired. All I have are heels. Me, in my slacks and heels and button down blouses, running across major intersections from one bus to another. I always make it on time though.
And now I’m hoping I get this role I auditioned for. Of course its NON PAID but I always shine through and one gig leads to another, just like with poetry.
My head hurts. My heart too. Tamara is missing in action. Anna’s sick. My Mama is trying to be a ghost writer to make some extra cash so I’m coaching her writing skills and trying to stay on top of my own portfolio.
I was doing interviews all weekend for my latest ebook. I have 7 months til graduation and I want some really profound work out there by the time I finish school.
I’m building something. I don’t know what yet. I’m hoping for my greatest dreams come true. They will. They will.
It seems like everything I THINK about, just happens. Like the other day I was texting Tamara and complaining that all these people are coming out the blue telling me they really like me and how good I make them feel and I was a bit jealous because no one makes me feel good like that.
“I want some of that tingle too!” I texted Tamara.
And then my phone rings. It’s this dude I just met and I gave him my number when he asked because he was a firecracker and I wanted to see if I could tame him. I haven’t yet but it’s fun trying. He’s a lot like me with a less stellar resume but I don’t really like him. It’s just fun to play a little.
He did ask me what I was doing for Valentines Day and I said, “Writing articles.”
If my dreams come true, and they always do, I’ll get this role and distract myself from this aching heart I have. I’ll fully immerse myself in acting for a while and try some marketing too. I just need a chance to see if I could be a good actress. I think it’ll be fun to try.
I still do wish I could meet someone to make me laugh and to learn from. Someone to share stories with and to build dreams with.
Oh well, I always have my friends. If their asses would ever stop being so busy from building their own dreams. We’re all fire starters, I guess.
Blah.
I can’t even write tonight because I’m so exhausted. This doesn’t count. It’s just my blog and I put no thought into what I’m writing in fact, my eyes are half closed as I type this. What did I write? I’ll have to go back and read later.
I need a massage.
Any takers?