My Valentines Day

My book is done! I’m so excited! I haven’t received it in my hands yet but its on its way!

Today I spent the entire day alone, writing articles for my new blog. You can check it out here.

These articles came out of me just as naturally as my breath. I had no idea I had it in me to write so easily but they came freely and I felt alive and well.

I was a little down this morning but then Tamara called all excited about buying a gift for her boyfriend and she got me excited too.

Then I hung up with her and wrote some more. And wrote some more. And wrote some more. Then night fell and my little sister called to say that my Mama wanted all of us to sing to her.

See, when we were little we created a rap for her for Valentines Day. She loves it when we sing to her. So me, my lil sis and my lil bro all got on the phone and performed and I could hear the happiness in her voice.

I hung up feeling more anxiety and then I decided to take a break from writing, um, to write on my BLOG. Funny, this doesnt feel like writing to me. It feels like singing a song you know all the words to.

I am definitely desensitized to all the Valentines Day hoopla. Last time I had one was around 1999 but I’m not sad about it. I am indifferent. I like to hear the stories of people who do celebrate it. It makes me feel good inside.

My sons bought me a necklace although my younger son just HAD to tell me, “It was the cheapest one there. It was $9.99.”

~smirk~

Doesn’t matter. I’m still in love with them and I’m grateful that they thought enough of me to spend their money on me for Valentines Day.

I just wish this anxiety would go away.

I wonder what would be the cure. I am NOT going to take medication. I don’t want to be hooked on that for life. There’s gotta be another way to ease this pain! It seems to be getting worse as the months go by.