She’s searching for answers, just like I was.
She has a gift that she wants to nurture but she doesn’t know how. She called me today and we chatted non stop like friends do. Except, our chatter isn’t the normal conversation about what guys we like or who’s hurting us or what we’ll wear. We don’t complain about anything, we mostly try to figure ourselves out.
She’s searching for answers. “I’m not looking for an authority,” she reminded me. “I just want someone who has been down my path and figured it out so they can help me to understand what is going on.”
I paused for a second as I digested her words. “You’re looking for someone to tell you what you already know,” I offered.
“Huh?”
“Think about it. You already asked one person their opinion and when they offered their answer you didn’t like it so you still went on your search for another answer. What they gave you was TRUTH for them but you’re looking for someone to tell you what YOU want to hear.”
“We all do that,” I continued. “I can tell you what each one of my friends will say about any circumstance that happens. I know their perspectives so when I want someone to support me in what I want to do, I call the friend who I KNOW will be supportive of the thing I want to do.”
“I see what you’re saying,” she admitted.
“I counseled a woman one time who was upset because her husband was cheating. You know I don’t think cheating is the worst thing a man could do so I went through so many different psychological models trying to give her a perspective to grasp onto so that she would give her marriage another chance,” I shared. “She could have chosen to have her AHA moment at anytime during any of those models I shared but she didn’t stop me until I shared a perspective that was in line with what she wanted to do- leave her husband. We’re always looking for ways to corroborate our core beliefs.”
The truth is, there is no truth. Truth is a socially constructed concept fueled by language. When we AGREE to a certain thing, then it becomes truth.
The truth is, we have to decide our own truths. No one is better equipped to decide what is true for us than we are. We can’t give our power away to anyone else by allowing them to decide what is true.
This is the premise of the concept of creating our personal realities.