Friendly Advice

I’m in the dollar store when my phone rings and I smile because it’s one of my favorite people in the world.

“What’s up chick?” I greet her.

“I know you’re busy because you just picked up your kids and all but I need some quick advice.”

I giggle. “Aiight chick. What happened?”

“Well, I was kinda mean to my boyfriend. Well, I meant to be mean but I didn’t mean to be, if you understand what I’m saying.”

“Yeah I feel you.”

“And I feel bad cuz I think I hurt him. He may be upset with me.”

“Ok.”

“Sooo…I need to know what you think I should do to make it up to him.”

“Where are you now?”

“I’m on my way over to his house.”

“Hmm..Here’s the answer and you gotta follow my instructions to the detail, ok?”

“Ok.”

“Ok, first things first, when you see him, if he’s upset it’ll show in his actions. Don’t be scared away by that though. Walk right up to him and push him down to a seated position. Then I want you to look him right in the eyes as you slowly kneel in front of him. Unzip his pants. Keep eye contact now girl! And then…”

She laughs, “Go to work?”

“That’s right, do yo thang Ma.”

She laughs even harder.

“Hey now,” I interrupt her. “You gotta remember to pause every now and then to say I’m sorry. Do it like this. ‘I’m sorry…I’m sorry…I love you…'”

I laugh.

She laughs too. “Girl, I was NOT expecting you to go there but…it actually sounds like a good idea.”

“It’s a GREAT idea! Even if he is upset, he won’t be for long. Believe me, that’s the BEST way to say I’m sorry.”