Special Signs

Something great is about to happen. I can feel it.

Let me tell ya a story– I had been staying at the Dallas Texas Hostel on Bachman Drive near Love Airfield here off and on and got to know the landlord Jerry Blake pretty well. I told him that I wanted to rent one of his units and he gave me an app. After doing all the necessary application stuff he came back and told me that there were too many red flags on my app and that I would have to rent on a month to month basis ONLY with stipulations like rent is due on the first if I am one day late I am evicted immediately AND I have to pay 3 times the rent as a deposit before I could move in.

I was like, “Dayum! I know my credit ain’t THAT bad. I have no evictions or broken leases on my record.” But I calmly told him, “Money is no problem for me.” He looked surprised. “Well, with your track record and no stability I don’t even think they will give you electricity. If you get your electricity turned on come and see me and we will talk about your lease.”

So the next day I got my electricity turned on and when I called him he said, “I’m amazed that they would do that. I wouldn’t have! You have too many red flags.”

I wrinkled my nose.

“I live an amazing life sir,” I replied.

“Whatever! You’re irresponsible. You have no lease record, no lights in your name, it takes a lot to manage a household. I’m not sure you can do it!”

“Wait a minute,” I said firmly. “WHy are you TALKING to me like this? I have never disrespected you or your property, I always pay my money and I’m nice to the other people here. Where is all this coming from? I don’t appreciate you talking to me like I’m some child, I’m a grown woman and I’m a professional and I don’t deserve this.”

“Well, what do you want me to say?”

“I want you to say, ‘I was having a bad day.’ or ‘I didn’t mean it that way’ anything besides what you just said. You know what? It doesn’t matter. Just don’t talk to me like that again. That’s all.”

The next day I was supposed to receive a lease but when I returned to my room there was a letter stating, “You have to be out by the 9th. If you want to leave before then I will refund your money.”

My roommate saw the letter and was livid. “Call the attorney!” she ordered. “Tee, he’s a bigot! Can’t you see?”

Huh?

Well, I was the only person he required to give him a deposit on electricity. None of the other ladies were charged that fee. He never came by to clean the entire time I was there. Never gave me fresh sheets. Charged me a ridiculous deposit on a 400 sq foot efficiency.

If he didn’t want me to rent in his complex, why didn’t he just say so?

I am so fucking tired of people and their damn indirect communication. Bitch be a fucking WOMAN or MAN and say what the hell is on your mind. Don’t come at me sideways with suggestions and shit. I don’t have time for that. When you communicate with people in that way, there’s so much room for misinterpretation.

Why can’t a bitch just SAY WHAT THE FUCK THEY MEAN? Damn! I lose all respect for people who tip toe around shit. Even if it makes you look insecure, just say it! Everyone has those moments. I tell my friends all the time, “When you don’t call me it makes me feel insecure about our friendship and I worry if you still love me.”

Why would they hold it against me?

Why don’t people just say what the fuck they mean?

~sigh~

God’s divine plan for my life can not be stopped.

So in my mind I had until Thursday to find another place. Which I FOUND and they approved me with NO PROBLEM whatsoever and NO DEPOSIT. WTF?

But yesterday I was feeling pretty bad physically. My eyes are killing me because I need more glasses and my body aches like I have the flu. I stuck it out through the day and when I got back to the hostel I crashed immediately saying to myself, “I’ll pack everything later and be out in the morning. My body hurts too much.”

Before I could even fall asleep the door opened and the landlord came in screaming. “Tee, its the 9th. You have to be OUT!”

“Hollup. I thought I was paid until tomorrow. I thought I had one more night.”

“No, that paper I left you informed you that you had to leave by noon today. You are trespassing! You have to be out NOW!”

I rolled over. Hollup. I coughed. “I’m not feeling well. Give me a minute to figure something out,” I said as I opened my laptop and sat up.

“You don’t have a minute. Get out now!” he screamed and I paused and looked at him.

“What is your problem? I have been nothing but nice and respectful to you? WHat did I do to you? Why are you acting like this? Give me a minute to get a phone number and I will be gone.”

“I’m calling the police if you don’t leave NOW!” he screamed.

I looked up at him. “GO call em! Tell em to hurry up and get here!”

“You have to leave!”

“If you are gonna stand up there screaming at me like an overseer I’m gonna stand right here and do nothing. If you be quiet, I will pack my things and go.”

He huffed and sat down to watch me pack.

I couldn’t move fast. My body was aching too much and I was trying to think. WHere am I going to go? How much money do I have? Why is this always happening to me? God could you please tell me why the MINUTE I stand up for myself and tell people that they are treating me wrong, they flip and can’t even stand to have me in their sight? I’m tired of getting kicked out when you KNOW I don’t disrespect people. I’m pleasant and easy to get along with. I’m a bit messy but hey…I’m good company. I don’t get it.

I loaded up my car piece by piece as the neighbors came out to stare.

“Why is he talking to you like that?” one man asked me. “What did you do?”

“I don’t know. You can ask him. I have. He hasn’t answered me yet.”

“Ok Jerry,” I told him. “I’m done.”

“Best of luck to you,” he said as I walked away.

“May God bless you Jerry,” I replied.

When I got to my car I looked at my receipt. I did have one more night. He threw me out early.

I drove in silence toward my job. I had to have somewhere I could think. I called Kim and we chatted. I am no longer disturbed by these type of things but it just…uh…ruffles my feathers a little bit.

Kim told me to go to a hotel and just hope my card goes through.

I decided against it. Makes no sense to possibly get an overdraft fee for a few hours of sleep. I found a safe parking garage and pulled inside. No one bothered me as I drifted off to sleep, well..the security guard tapped on my window at some point in the night.

I looked at him.

He shined his light on my backseat loaded with clothes and stuff.

“Just checking on you,” he said and smiled. “Good night.”

“Thank you,” I said.

I couldn’t get back to sleep then. I certainly don’t think I’m STRUGGLING, I just think I…I don’t what to think. I guess I look at it as a grand adventure.

My thoughts turned to the crazy ass Breakfast and the Prez.

You know what he said that was quite amazing?

“I’m color blind.”

“Whats that?” I asked.

“It’s where I can’t see colors. All I see are some yellows, everything else is blank.”

“How do you get dressed?”

“Well, I pretty much remember what stores I bought things from and if the store doesn’t have good mannequins I can’t shop there. I just buy whatever is on the mannequin.”

“But does that mean you’ve never seen the beautiful blue sky or the green ocean?”

“No.”

“WHat about a rainbow?”

“I have never seen a rainbow.”

Amazing.

I couldn’t believe it. He can’t see colors.

Wow.

To me that means….He’s special.

He’s special.

He is so very special.

I smiled and thought of him as I nestled into my leather seats and wrapped myself tighter into my blanket.

He is special.

Man…I wanna do it with him…