Keeping Things Fresh

I was talking to Raycita the other night and before we hung up she told me that she was about to write her 6 month and 1 year plan.

I was talking to Ruby today and we discussed where she wants to go in life as far as her career gis concerned. It seems as though everyone is preparing for their future by creating visions for their lives. Doesn’t the Bible say that without a vision man will perish?

We create our reality by what we believe can happen. Do I really believe that I can be the super journalist that I see myself becoming? Do I really believe that I can meet a man who meets all of the qualities of my heart’s desires? Do I really believe that one day I will have a bed to sleep in and all of the comforts of home?

Hell yeah!

My belief system is made much easier because of the type of women I have in my life. All of my friends have the same core foundation although we are all wading through the water of righteousness and trying to define how we want to honor God with our lives.

I realized the other day that all of my close friends are where I am concerning relationships with men. None of us are the type of women who encourage each other to cheat when we are in committed relationships. We don’t applaud that type of behavior. And those of us who aren’t in committed relationships are waiting on God. No one is having secks or dating, we’re done with that phase of our lives.

We challenge each other to live better for God and to honor ourselves as women of strong character. Many nights are spent on the phone with each other, we turn to each other and call on God for strength through the lonely times. But we all agree that it’s better to be lonely than go through all that unneccessary drama dealing with men that we know aren’t good enough for us.

The other night Raycita and I were discussing some of the pitfalls that marriages face and she challenged me to keep my marriage fresh by not moving so fast. “If you do everything before you get married, then what is there to look forward to?” she asked.

“When you get married, you have secks for the first time, it’s new and you can enjoy that new experience for a while. Then you move in together. That’s a new and exciting experience that will last for a year or so as you get used to being around each other all the time. Then you have your first child and that’s a whole new world to explore. That will last several years. It’s about keeping everything fresh. It goes stale so much more quickly when you have already rushed and done everything beforehand.”

I asked Tamara what she thought about Raycita’s thoughts since Tamara has already moved in with her fiance and they have a baby together already. She said that she believes it was a good idea to move in with her man because you never truly know a person until you live with them but she admits that she wishes that she had waited until she got married before she had secks because although her first experience with her man was great she says, “Imagine if the first time we did we had all of the emotions and love that we have now, it would have been off the CHAIN!”

As I navigate through the rocky road of abstinence, most days I am okay. It’s about self control. Honestly, it’s been so long that the thought of a random man actually touching me, nauseates me. I can’t imagine being up under some man who cares nothing about me. I’ve had too many of those experiences and honestly I’ve been the initiator of most of them. Tamara once told me that I use men as tools for pleasure. I remember thinking, “What else are they good for? They sure don’t support you and encourage you by loving you unconditionally.”

I’m glad that I am over that train of thought even though I haven’t met a man who would prove otherwise. It’s the faith that someone WILL that keeps me satisfied during my drought. I continuously imagine a man who will place my picture on his desk in his office just so he can see my face all day.

Speaking of droughts, I haven’t heard a word from God about seeking my destiny over the past few days so I have been diligently working on my website and marketing myself. Although I love Dallas I will leave here if an opportunity opens up somewhere else. I’m not tied to this city, I have no furniture to move, no job and no real friends yet. I’m in a position where I can go anywhere. I still consider myself to be in transition. I want to do work that satisfies and I haven’t seen a publication in this city that I’d like to work for.

Kim reminded me that the power of God moves people at the right time and when He is ready for me to work again, He will allow that perfect opportunity to contact me as long as I am diligent to continue to put myself out there and tell people what I can do. “Until then, enjoy your downtime, dawg,” she encouraged me. “We all know you’re a hard worker, rest up because soon things will be on and poppin.”

I hope things pop off soon but for now I’m trying to find out where’s the best place to be for the 4th of July. I remember last year I took my boys to the fireworks show at the golf course across the street from my house. Then we came home and sat outside on the car and watched the random fireworks from people in the neighborhood. ~sigh~

My boys are spending a month with their grandmother in Ocala, Florida. They are having an experience that I never had. I never spent summers away. I remember when their Dad would tell me about his summers in Ocala and I always envied that, now my boys are getting to have that kind of laid back country fun.

Anna’s daughter called me for my birthday to sing to me. That made me smile. Anna had been shopping for a bike for her daughter and was a little pressed for cash when she realized, “Damn…I’m married. I’m not on my own anymore.” She says she had been so used to doing things on her own with no help from her daughter’s father that she has to retrain her mind to remember that she has help now.

I guess right now I’m still standing on faith and moving forward according to the words spoken into my spirit. Day ONE of my 28th year was uneventful but I do look forward to many more AMAZING things happening whether I stay here or move elsewhere.