My life is a miracle.
Oh my gosh…The countdown to the New Year begins. It’s only 4 days away and I feel like I have to get some things off my chest. Ughh..I hate this feeling. This feeling that I’m hiding something. Until I’m able to be honest with myself OUT LOUD, I can’t get any rest.
But first! GOOD NEWS!
Someone suggested that I look up that eerie dream about me getting ready to die and saying goodbye to people. Everyone was so happy that I was going away including me. Yeah..that’s weird.
But the dream dictionary says:
To dream that you die in your dream, symbolizes inner changes, transformation, self-discovery and positive development that is happening within you or in your life. Although such a dreams may bring about feelings of fear and anxiety, it is no cause for alarm and is often considered a positive symbol. Dreams of experiencing your own death usually means that big changes are ahead for you. You are moving on to new beginnings and leaving the past behind. These changes does not necessarily imply a negative turn of events. Metaphorically, dying can be seen as an end or a termination to your old ways and habits. So, dying does not always mean a physical death, but an ending of something. To dream of your own death, indicates a transitional phase in your life. You are becoming more enlightened or spiritual.
Don’t stop get it, get it!
I am soo relieved.
I thought God was trying to prepare me for my death. I ain’t ready for that. I want more love from my kids before I go!
Now…this next part…ughhh..my heart hurts just thinking about admitting it, but I’m sure I’ll feel better once it’s done.
~blushing~
I…I have been having the same recurring dream ever since I left the website. In my dream it’s always my first day going back there. I have had this dream 12 times since June.
Cinderella says, “A dream is a wish your heart makes.” Well, if that’s true, then my heart is desperate to be doing what I was doing while I was there.
Also…
~blushing~
IcontactedThePrezandtoldhimIlikedhimandhetoldmehehasaveryseriousgirlfriendbutthanksformyhonesty.
Please don’t laugh at me.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I can’t help how I feel though. And after I shared with him, I felt better. I laughed at myself and chalked it all up to another one of my fantasy romances that begin and end in my head. I blessed his relationship, felt the sting of yet another rejection from a man I cared about and I thought I moved on.
Until a few weeks ago when I had a dream about him..again.
See..I’ve been dreaming about him too. But usually in my dreams, I’m just admiring him and we don’t speak to each other.
So a few weeks ago after he told me he was in a “very serious relationship” I dreamt of him again and in the dream we actually spoke. I wasn’t nervous like I used to be in his presence. I thought it was funny that he seemed more nervous than I was.
The next day I was floating on air! I asked God to tell me why I keep dreaming about him.
The next night I went to sleep and it happened AGAIN!
In this dream he was who he is..except..he was different. He looked exactly the same except he had a much deeper voice and he was sooo sexy. It was kinda like when Steve Urkel turned into Stephan.
This man was STEPHAN and I was soo attracted to him that I almost couldn’t contain myself. We almost kissed except, we stopped and he told me, “I’m in the process of leaving my wife.” (don’t kno what’s up with that since he’s not married)
I woke up singing after that dream and I prayed that God would allow me to meet that fine ass, sexy ass man! The chemistry was off the charts! I want to feel like that with someone in real life!
Ok, while I’m admitting things about my dreams I will admit that I…I saw The Prez in a vision before I met him.
Whatever!
Call me what you want! I don’t care.
It was the day before I met him. I was at the nail shop in Houston getting my pedicure and something in my mind said, “You’re going to meet someone special tomorrow.”
Then a flash in my imagination….an image…of a man…rising from his seat at the head of a table. He had on a gray suit and he wore glasses. I thought his head was shaped funny. I didn’t find him attractive as I saw the flash in my imagination so I just shrugged and the image went away.
I didn’t remember this vision until many months later and it all came back to me. I met him the next day and he was wearing the same thing I saw in my vision and he was sitting in the same chair.
Oh my gosh..my poor little heart.
I’m always idealizing men in my mind. I wish I could stop. I wish that my fantasies could meet my reality because sometimes I feel like I’m living in two distinct worlds and neither of them have any idea that the other exists.
I feel like a stalker for admitting that I still have dreams about him.
Please God, don’t let him read this.
But on the bright side, I do feel a lot better.
I love not having any secrets. I release all unmanifested desires in anticipation of this new year. If it’s meant for me to have, I will have it, if not, I’m open to receiving more than I ever wished for.
I now let gooooo of my fantasy crush.
Ok…Buh bye!