My life is a miracle.
And I’m appreciative of the little things.
Tonight Tamara called me after work and we chatted easily about her love life and other “good news” gossip about our friends. She took a quick nap, I did some work on my book and we reconnected at around 8:30.
“I’m about to go get some crab legs,” Tamara announced.
“Ooh, I wish I could have some too!” I said.
“Go ahead and treat yourself, girl. I’m gonna put some money into your account on Monday.”
“Thanks Dawg!”
As we both made our trips to the grocery store to pick up our steamed crab legs, I stopped by the dollar movie machine still chatting with Tamara while I chose the movie 27 Dresses to watch on my laptop. Since I don’t have a TV I never get to watch TV unless I go hang out with my Mama. Tamara got home and decided to rent the same movie on PayPerview so we could talk about it after.
We both giggled and broke out our crab legs and settled down to watch our movie. When it was over I called her.
“Are you done yet?” I asked.
“Yep, I just got to the part where the newspapers is showing the credits.”
“I liked it. What did you think?”
“I liked it too.”
“Did you see yourself in it?” I asked.
“Yeah, I did. I feel like I’m that person who is always running to help other people. And I feel like that girl, her bestfriend was too much like you!”
“I saw that at some point,” I admitted. “But what I realized more was that this chick was always at someone’s side helping them, celebrating them when secretly she really wanted to be celebrating herself. But maybe she didn’t really believe that she would have her day, or maybe she didn’t think she deserve it. That’s kinda how I feel sometimes. I’m all focused on other people’s relationships and becoming a relationship expert and all this mess. It’s like I’m obsessed with love and romance..and it’s only cuz, I don’t know what it’s like to BE in those kind of situations.”
Tamara and I chatted more about what it feels like to be in love. I decided not to write about divorce for my term paper which is due in a little more than a week. Instead I’m going to write and research what being in love feels like and I’m going to use Tamara as my case study.
“I can’t stop thinking about this man,” Tamara said. “When I’m with him I just want to pinch him because I can’t believe he’s real. The crazy thing is..he looks at me the same way. Everytime I talk to him, he’s always telling me why he loves me. He can probably come up with so many reasons and still I look at him and think, ‘Why is this man with me?'”
Oh yeah..I got to meet Tamara’s man last weekend. She was in town with him so that he could meet her parents. She says he told her that that trip took their relationship to another level and he is so glad it did.
I’ma be so honest with you…Tamara’s man is the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen in my entire life. So serious. He looks like he should be a teen heartthrob or something. He’s not quite manly looking but if I were in highschool and I saw him, I would probably faint. I almost did.
When I saw him, I almost screamed. “Damn dawg, look what God can do!” I exclaimed and she looked at me and shook her head. “I told you,” she whispered.
It’s amazing to see how he takes such good care of her and her children. They are crazy about each other and I’m always like, “This seems so phony to me,” whenever she tells me stories. I mean, two people can’t be THAT much in love? Or can they…
Oh yeah. I wanted to mention that my sister is now the epitome of ghetto love. She and her fiance just got tattoos of each other’s names. LOL! She got hers on her lower back and he got her name tatted on his neck. I almost died!
At first I was totally against it, because I’m not a fan of tattooes, even though I have one. I regret that shit. But then..I was just walking through campus and I thought about it..Damn….Kanye was right. I think I read on his blog where he said if he doesn’t love something he’s not going to do it. So when you do love something you should do it BIG.
And that’s exactly what my sister is doing.
I called her up and said, “Teenie, I just want you to know that I am so proud of you.”
“For what?”
“Cuz, dawg…You don’t care what anyone says. You know people are saying it’s too early for you to be even thinking about getting married again, but you don’t care. YOu never ONCE worried about finding a job when you were unemployed and this good ass job came to you! You are the queen of allowing good things to flow and I need to be more like that.”
“Girl, if you understood how good it feels right now to be with a man like this you’d be getting a tattoo too,” she told me. “Even if for some reason, we don’t work out, I don’t care because I always want to remember how great being loved feels and I’ve never loved anyone the way I love him. But chile please..he’s not going anywhere and I know that.”
She knows that.
It is quote overwhelming at times to watch everyone around me be in love like this.
Shit..I wasn’t even going to write about this until it became for real, for real, but shit..Kim doesn’t read this and oh well..I can’t hold good news…
Kim is ENGAGED!
Like..for real. Like..She is getting married on December 6th of this year!
I’m amazed and honestly, so happy that my friend is getting what she wanted. I wasn’t feeling old dude for the longest because she always complained about leaving him and finding something better but now she has flipped it and she appreciates him for the way he loves her instead of wanting a man who had more to offer materially.
Kim is engaged…She has always wanted to be a wife. The best thing is, she’s getting married here in Miami so I will definitely be able to go.
Hmmm…I sometimes think that I should feel sad for myself because I have yet to experience what everyone is going through..you know, the bliss of finding a good match..but…I don’t know. It doesn’t bother me to hear their stories. It makes me feel good that they are all happy.
Cuz I’m happy too. Right now..Right here. Regardless of everything.
I’m living the good life.
Even my Mama thinks so.