I remember back when I used to see this tag on various writers websites and I’d say to myself, “Wow. I’d love to be an Ezine Expert Author.” Child please, all I had to do was submit a couple of articles and they reviewed them and sent me my tag! LOL! ~shrug~ I guess that’s a goal accomplished. LOL!Here’s my profile.
My Second Life Exotic Dancer Debut
Last night I did the unthinkable.
I was invited to a Rez Day party (day you first joined the SL community, like your birthdate) and when I got there, their were poles on the stage.
I watched for a little while and then…
I…
Changed into a sexy outfit…
And I…
Worked that pole!
I worked it!
I felt so…FREE!
I felt powerful and magical and sexy and there wasn’t anything that anyone could say or do to get me off of that pole because I was owning that stage, that image, that moment of being free to just..be sexy without worrying about anyone’s perception of me.
Without worrying about some idiot coming on to me.
Without worrying about how this activity would affect my career.
Without worrying about anything but how much fun it was to strut my stuff and be…
Be…
Sexual
Dominating
Nasty
Out there…
A part of me that has always been bursting to be let free!
~sigh~
Yes. I liked that.
I’m Straight
For the most part, I use this blog as my emotional venting place.
When I find myself in a confused state or even reflective state, I’ll log in and then pour out my heart, step back and look at it and try to sort it all out.
Even through all the PMS, the drama and the uncertainty…
You know what?
I’m really happy.
Everyday I wake up smiling and I walk outside, across the yard to the Student Union for breakfast. I chill and eat, smiling at the kids and thinking about my day. I go back to my room and I write or research or interview or create. I do that until it’s time for lunch and then I stroll back over to the Union and have a leisurely lunch.
Then I come back home and study, write or research some more. I feel so good by the time it’s dinnertime and I stroll back to the Union for more food and then over to class for some good theoretical discussions. Then I go back to my room and write, research and study some more, connecting with the smartest people I know, learning from them, sharing with them, dreaming with them.
Shit…
I lead an amazing life.
My life is as beautiful as the Miami sky.
No matter what the day brings or tomorrow, or the next day, the uncertainty, the emotions, the drama, the whatever…I’m cool.
I’m straight.
I’m on my way…to wherever I’m supposed to be.
And that I truly believe.
My PostSecret
I Wish I Had a Spaceship
Still Working On It…
I got another ‘A’ in my class.
And now I’m about to get another one.
This semester I’m taking Issues In Marriage & Family. I had no idea what this course would be like but I was pleased to see that it was more than a course on romantic relationships. It’s more about how life transitions like divorce, death, getting your first car, your first boyfriend or whatever, affect the family unit.
Hmm.. Never thought about that. If I’m going to be counseling families, it’s important to take a look at what stage of development each individual is in and then be mindful of those individual transition stages.
So we watched a movie about a crazy ass family. Each individual had his own issues but as a whole, their individual issues affected the way their family related to each other.
We have two projects in this class. The first is a group presentation of a transition- our group chose graduation. We have to come up with a 20 minute skit and presentation about how a graduation affects the entire family. My job is to write the skit, others are doing more research and stuff.
My second assignment is to do an interview and write a paper about another transition and then present the paper in class. I was going to write about my little sister’s divorce but now I think I’ll have to change it something else. Maybe I’ll find someone who fell in love or maybe I’ll find someone who fell out of love. Or maybe I’ll write about losing a job or something. How does that affect the family? I don’t know. We’ll see.
I’m only half way focused on this class because my mind is so set on finishing this book. It’s all outlined and half way written, but I can’t FORCE myself to write it. I have to be relaxed and inspired which means my mind can’t be cluttered with a lot of other issues. I don’t want it to be a bunch of junk, I want it to really read like it’s straight from my heart.
I also am really hoping to be published in at least ONE major magazine soon. I’m gonna try Essence again. ~sigh~ They rarely even write you back to say No, but I’m gonna try.
I think I’m more focused on becoming an author because that makes you an expert on the topic you write about and it will be easier to get writing and speaking jobs if I’ve written a book on the topic I want to pitch article on. ~shrug~
Ok. It’s gonna happen. I’m nearly caught up on my articles and blogging all across the net, so I’m gonna spend tonight doing my thang, sending the chapter drafts over to my designer and hopefully by next week, I’ll have a rough draft of my book. At least I’ll be able to see how long it is and if I need to add more content and where I need to add it.
I’m shooting for around 100-125 pages. I want it to be a quick read and easily transferrable from purse to purse and hand to hand. The title of the book is a guaranteed winner I promise you, but I want the content to be equally stimulating. Lemme go get some cookies or something, I’ma try again to pull an all nighter and get two more chapters drafted.
I’ve done the introduction, the How to use this book section, chapter 10, chapter 8 and chapter 1. Oh, sorry, I didn’t mention it’s a self help book so that’s why I can write the chapters in whatever order I want to.
After tonight, I should only have 4 more chapters left.
It’s all in my head. Let me try to get it on paper.
Wish me luck!
Take Yo O’l Lady
I just got the new Plies CD for a dollar from this dude on the corner of the grocery store. Damn! I just listened to Ol’Lady and hell naw…. love this dude’s CONFIDENCE!An excerpt from the lyrics:I don’t want yo side ho nigga I want yo main bitchThe one you call baby the one you in love with & then make yo hoe pack yo shit And make her call you right now and tell you its over wit, Befo she hang up the phone she gon tell you she’s plies bitch And when you call her back gonna have her numba switched And imma f**k her everyday until I get her thick and Make her put my name on her nails and shit And keep her hair did fa her and full of dick I Might move her out the hood nigga just to pick I know how to make you niggas lose weight real quick And have you walking round this bitch looking real sick I’ll have ya ass embarrassed hanging around ya own click I’ll make you call me nigga and say plies I quit Imma tell you im counting money so I’ll hit you bike jit And hang right up the phone and lay on yo bitch DAYUM!!!! I almost fell out! Damn Plies…you’ll do all that?!!Lord!I remember the last time I went to the club, I saw this chick that I thought was supercute. So I walked over to her and told her, “You’re georgeous.” She smiled at me and said, “Thank you.”So I sat back down with my drink and watched her dance for her man. She was all sexy and shit. So after I finishd my drink I walked back over to them and I touched her man. He bent down so I could whisper in his ear.”Ima take your girl,” I said and smirked. I walked back to my chair and sat down, lit my Black and started puffing.Dude was sooo MAD! He was cursing and pointing at me and his girl was trying to calm him down. He kept saying, “You ain’t got no dick! You ain’t got no dick!” I sat up straight and smiled at him. He got so mad that he left!Hahahahahaaaaaa!He crazy! I was only playin….
My PostSecret
Keep The Suicide Hotline Alive
I remember when I used to suffer from depression. It wasn’t too long ago, if you’ve been reading my blog for a while. There were times when I thought that the world would benefit if I were to die and when I tried to talk to my friends they would get upset with me because they didn’t know what to say.I have called 1-800-SUICIDE and they listened to me. That’s all I needed. I just needed someone to listen to me who wouldn’t get mad at me for feeling so down. They listened.I got it out.I walked away from my phone knowing that I could go on.It’s not a weakness when you ask for help, it’s a sign of strength.Please donate to the hotline and keep them going for all of the people you know who are depressed and you know you can’t find the right words to say…The Suicide Hotline can.Ms. Tee
My First Sunrise
I woke up at a quarter to 4 this morning. My eyelids were still fluttering from the intense dream I had. I yawned and stretched and sat up in bed, staring at the bare yellow walls in my dorm room.
I may as well go outside and read. I grabbed my book, my Blacks, my phone and my lighter and I tiptoed outside, trying not to slam the door and wake my suitemate.
I set up camp a few doors down from mine and sat cross legged on the pavement, opening my book and lighting my Black.
Despite the early morning hours, kids were still milling around campus, laughing, giggling and coming home from a night out. I watched as a car full of kids parked and said their goodbyes as they went their seperate ways back to their rooms.
I smiled, remembering the old days, back when I was an undergrad. That shit was fun! I may have had two kids while I was in college but I sure did have lots of fun before I had them! I didn’t really miss out on anything, I don’t think. ~shrug~
As I sat and puffed and read my book, I heard footsteps so I looked up. A guy approached me and introduced himself.
“I see you around campus all the time, my name is Taylor, what’s yours?”
“My name is Tee,” I laugh.
We sat on the pavement and talked and smoked and talked and talked and talked. I learned that he was new to campus and had driven down from Illinois two weeks ago to start grad school here.
“See that car?” he asked, motioning to a shiny Black Charger parked in the parking lot. “I got really lucky in the stock market and I bought that car and it’s paid off. That’s my baby!”
I laughed. “Hell yeah! A nice car like that and no car note! You got lucky for real! I have to hustle to pay my car note every month.”
He was an interesting character, speaking to me with this friendliness in his voice that you don’t get to experience much in Miami. Turns out he lives right above me and told me that he sees me nearly everyday but I give off this “don’t talk to me” vibe that made him stay away.
He has these greyish blue eyes and a cleft in his chin like John Travolta.
“I hate when people tell me that,” he said. “That’s dude’s old as shit!”
We talked and talked and I laughed and laughed and by the time I noticed the time it was almost 6am.
“Hey, I have an idea,” I said. “Why don’t we go to the beach and watch the sunrise?”
He smiled over at me and stood up. “Good idea.”
I went back into my room and put on some shorts and grabbed my beach blanket and my camera. As we drove to the beach I asked him if he knew where he was going since he had only been in Miami for 2 weeks and he said, “My first day here I gassed up the car and just drove around. I have a spot.”
When I noticed the route that he was taking I wondered if he was going to the same spot that I go to. We laughed and talked about his time in Illinois. He told me that he used to get lost in the cornfields chasing his dog.
“That must have been scary!” I said.
“Yeah, it was. You can’t see anything but these tall ass stalks of corn and you don’t know where you’re going but all you have to do is keep going in one direction and eventually you’ll come out of it.”
“I hope we get there in time!” I said, noticing that the sky was beginning to lighten up as we headed east.
Surprise, surprise! When we turned the corner on Collins, he drove right up to the same spot that my friends and I have been going to since I was a teenager.
“You’ve been stalking me!” I laughed.
We walked over the little bridge and onto the sand. There were a lot of people on the beach even though it was early. There were two couples there laughing and drinking beer, looking like they had just stepped out of the club. There was an older man fishing on the shore. Their were other couples cuddled up on the sand and we even saw a mother and her two children asleep on the beach.
“I wonder if they’re here because they have no place else to go,” I said to Taylor.
We set up camp when we found a quiet spot. I spread out my orange blanket and he pulled off his shoes and socks. The sky was much lighter by now but I couldn’t see the sun yet.
“This may sound kinda cheesy but I really like the times when the sun and the moon are visible at the same time. Usually during these times, I’m sleeping so I think it’s cool that we are out here.”
It’s funny but, me and this dude have a lot in common. My friends and I have a ritual where at 12:34 we pray for each other or make a wish. When the clock hit 5:55 he said to me, “Hurry up and make a wish!” I was like, Whoa…
We talked about spirituality, religion and our goals. “So, I know you said that you’re not religious anymore,” he said. “So tell me what do you think about the day of judgement.”
I shook my head. “I don’t believe in it.”
He shook his head too. “Me neither. I find it hard to believe that one religion is right and everyone else is wrong. Why can’t we ALL be right?”
“That’s what I’m saying. I look at it like this…If you connect with God through one religion, then that’s cool and that’s beneficial to you. But then I could look at someone else and see how they connect with God and think that’s cool too. I’m always looking to meet people and find how they connect with God. It’s really about the connection, it’s not about the path.”
He smiled at me and we both lay back on the blanket listening to his cell phone play music. He loves this guy named Devin something. He’s a rapper from Texas. I told him about my time in Texas and how I didn’t really like the guys I met in Houston because they were too tall.
“Don’t say TOO TALL!” he said.
“Whuh?”
“Do you know how tall I am?” he asked.
I shrugged.
“I’m 6’5”
“You are?! Wow, I didn’t even notice.”
“Stand up,” he said pulling me to my feet. He looked like a huge tree standing next to my 5’2″ frame.
Next thing you know he made a suggestion, “Why don’t we get in?” he asked, motioning toward the ocean.
“Are you serious?”
“Yeah,” he took off his pants and I followed suit, stepping into the warm ocean water. It felt so good. But damn, I couldn’t really play like I wanted to because of all this hair in my head.
After a while I said ‘fuck it’ it’s only hair and I went in to the water and allowed it to caress my body.
“Look,” he said and turned around.
The sun had completely risen from the ocean. We stood and watched, smiling, taking in the moment.
We started talking again as we played around in the water. Boy, he is so easy to talk to. He kind of looks at me with this weird smile while I chatter on and on about my book, my goals, my love for the internet and encouraging people.
“This water feels like a nice warm hug,” I remarked. “I sure need one sometimes.
“I can give you one right now,” he said and pulled me close to him. I’m pretty sure he was on his knees and I was standing in front of him. He wrapped his arms around me and we stood there, nose to nose with the orange sky behind us, completely silent and smiling at each other.
A huge wave pushed us back onto the shore and I got out of the water and back to the blanket, pulling my shorts back on.
He took a picture of me as I finished getting dressed and I think it came out nicely.
After we left the beach, we drove around until we found a nice little breakfast spot right down the street from school. We shared more stories and I had some really good fried fish and grits while he wolfed down a plate of pancakes and eggs and bacon. We both talked about how much we LOVE the cafeteria food because it’s so convenient.
When we got back to our building we stood outside for a minute, just smiling at each other.
“I’m glad I came down to talk to you,” he said.
“I’m glad you did too. I had fun with you.”
I did. I really did. I’ve been meeting a lot of men over the past week, and I mean A LOT. But most of them I dismiss within a few days. ~shakes head~ Yeah, I know I’m horrible.
But, I really hope he and I continue to be friends. He seems cool as hell and..he has a positive attitude. I like that.