Everyone Is In Love

I’ve been trying to think of a way to capture this period in my life but the words just have not been coming to me. I’m gonna try anyway, before the moment passes.

For the longest I’ve watched as my friends and my sister all went through these crazy ass relationships. I’ve watched them be hurt, disrespected, walked over and unappreciated. We’d spend many nights on the phone trying to figure out what’s so wrong with these dudes we keep meeting and why none of them could recognize what we brought to the table as a friend and as a lover.

I remember I used to pray and ask God to PUHLEESE hurry up and send my friends good men who cherished them and really understood their value. I would consistently speak aloud, “God, please make sure my friends are in happy, healthy, stable relationships and once they’re taken care of, then you can work on mine if you want.”

We cried and we cursed and we encouraged each other. We all grew up together, learning and influencing each other as we went through different relationships. Most of the time we didn’t know HOW to help each other through the rough times, but we always did our best to just try and be there.

Now…the tables have turned.

Every single person that I speak to on a regular basis is in a stable, committed healthy relationship with a man who truly adores them. Our conversations are so different now. There’s no more, “Why didn’t he call?” or “I wonder what’s he’s doing?”

Now it’s more like, “I can’t believe this man that God has brought into my life. I would go through everything I went through in the past all over again, just to come to this point.”

My sister- She’s been with Adam for 7 months and she’s already engaged to him. She went through so much crap with her ex husband and she would always say, “God told me to marry him.” I never could understand that…

But now I do. Because she went through so much turmoil and pain while she tried to be a good wife to her ex, she accepts nothing but the most utmost respect from her fiance and he gives it to her without fail. She often compares Adam to her ex and every single time, Adam exceeds all of her expectations. It is as though she went through all of that, in order to better appreciate what she has now.

I have never seen a man who adores a woman quite in the way that Adam adores my sister. He has been calling her his wife since day ONE and could not wait to put that rock on her finger. When I talk to her, I am amazed each day by how much happier she is and how grateful she is that she met someone who knows how to love her the right way, respects her and puts up with her even when she’s in one of her funky moods. I am so happy to witness this! It’s like magic to me!

Tamara- is still doing the damn thing with her boy Pretty Ricky. Their relationship is still a long distance one so it comes with all of the tension that a long distance relationship brings but when I hear my dawg say, “I would be stupid to ever think about giving up what I have.” or “Tee, he is the exact type of man that I prayed for, even down to the fact that he reminds me so much of Nelly!” I can’t help but grin.

I used to tell Tamara all the time, “You have to know what you deserve. Does he deserve you? Do you deserve him?” and now Tamara emphatically answers, “Yes!” I go to sleep at night thinking about how happy she is now and I look forward to meeting him next weekend when they will both be in town.

Kenya- She’s been seeing this guy for quite a while now. I remember at first she used to be a little uneasy about the relationship because it wasn’t adding up to her particular idea of what a relationship was. She compared what she has now to what she had in the past and something seemed to be lacking. But as she went through that I would often wonder, “Why would she want to recreate something that didn’t work before?”

I watched as their relationship transformed and I’ve never gotten a chance to tell her that I’ve learned so much by her sharing with me. What she did was to throw out the concept of relationships that she had in the past, and what she has now, is a committed best friend who is never out of reach and continues to be her biggest supporter in all she does. It’s as though she let go of her desire to turn their relationship into what she thought it should be and then decided to be a friend. That friendship has proven to be more desireable, more beneficial, more fruitful than anything that she has ever known. I learned from her to let things flow and relax into a new definition of grown up love.

Anna- Whoo! I couldn’t even write about Anna’s marriage during those first few months. I wa so filled with fear and anxiety over it that it really affected my life. But now…all I hear are good reports and her relationship is turning into the type of situation that she always wanted. She has a partner to play video games with, watch wrestling with, argue with and laugh with. He’s a handful but so is she and they seem to be handling each other gracefully. It relieves me and fills me with joy everytime she mentions their evolution together.

Kim- Well, Kim is loving life in Chicago. I remember a while back Kim and I had a conversation and I challenged her to stop throwing her emotions out at me when she got mad at her man and she listened, she really did. For one, it has enable me to see him in a new light, instead of having to carry the burden of insignificant trists between the two. Another benefit is that it has transformed their relationship because she now knows how important it is to honor the man who is honoring you and to not run away at the slightest sign of discomfort. Kim doesn’t put up with BS, but I remember reminding her that no one is going to value her relationship unless she values it first.

So those are all of my friends in a nutshell, happy, being loved and loving life right now. With every conversation, every text message, ever love story they share, I feel a bit of the love too and that fuels me and comforts me.

I also hear that my BBDD got engaged this weekend. When my friend told me, I didn’t feel a thing. I don’t suppose I should since I’ve been over him for quite a while but still this is a new phase in all of our lives and I kind of thought that I would feel something. I don’t.

I really pray that everyone I mentioned above continues to enjoy the sweet fruit of true love and they can look at the person they are with and say, “Thank you God, you finally gave me what I deserve!”