The Longest Day In History
I don’t know why it seems like today has been the LONGEST DAY IN HISTORY. I mean, it’s shortly after 10:30 pm and I feel like I’ve already lived two lifetimes; before and after dinner.
Ofcourse my shorties woke me up super early and the first words out of my mouth were, “Go in your room and let me go back to sleep.”
They left me alone for a little while, then I heard, “Mommy can you make us some brehfuss, please?” After their little breakfast I could hear them playing in their room. It’s great having two kids who are close in age because they entertain each other. They also tell on each other, take up for each other and make fun of each other. It doesn’t take too much of this gender socialization with my boys because they are soo boyish!
I could never come up with some of the stuff they like to do.
No, Mommy does NOT like to watch football.
Sorry, Boo Boo, I am not interested in wrestling.
Don’t come at me like that, I don’t want to play fight with you.
And my 5 year old is a little joker, but he tells the kind of jokes I hate.
“Mommy guess what?” he’ll ask.
“What?”
~FAARTTTT!~
“That is NOT funny!”
So after a couple of hours of this, I tell them that they can watch TV with me while we wait for dinner to be ready over at my Mama’s house. They climb into my bed and we snuggle up just in time to watch 3 Kanye West specials on TV. Yay!
After that it was time to get dressed. The weather is perfect this time of year. It’s not hot anymore and there’s a chill in the air, but not so cold that you want to stay indoors.
I grabbed the chocolate cake that I bought at the grocery store and we hopped into the car. Now my Mama warned me not to come to her house before 1pm. I wanted to make sure I got there just as the clock struck 1 because I knew it would make her laugh. I LOVE going to my Mama’s house. It’s like a little break for me and so much fun for my boys. Their Grandaddy always has a gift for them and they play and eat and laugh with their grandparents and I get to chill out in front of the computer! YAY!
So, we’re on the way to my Mama’s house and I’m shaking my head over a recent encounter. Yesterday when I went to pick up the cake at the grocery store I ran into a guy I knew from college.
When I first saw him at the store I didn’t know who he was (but he was freakin FINE!!!) and my first instinct was to smile and say Hi. Then I remembered that I’m not really in the mood to meet any men so I walked on by without another glance.
As soon as I found the cake I wanted, I was about to turn and get in line when I looked up and the fine guy was smiling at me.
Hollup! I know him. I smiled and laughed as he walked toward me.
But damn, dude was looking like a model these days, with beautiful dreads and an even more beautiful smile and I felt a bit self concious because I’m not the permed, skinny chick I was back then.
After wishing him Happy Holidays I walked away shaking my head. I don’t really like to run into people I knew when I was in college. Since moving to Miami I have been in my own little world, a world far away from that wild, wild journey I experienced in Gainesville. I like it like that.
I can’t exactly forget what happened while I was there. Let’s just say I wasn’t on my best behavior. he…he.. That part was kinda fun. But that isn’t the part I would rather forget.
I think the thing that disturbs me the most about my college experience is I went into it with high hopes and dreams and so much energy and vigor. I started off great. I was active all around campus. I was into the school newspaper, had a stint on a radio show, I was in a pageant ~came in 1st runner up, which meant I got into all of the Alpha parties for free!~ and I was a pin-up girl in the Black Student Union calendar- ahh, I was on the verge of becoming a legend.
Then freshman year ended and I met my Baby Daddy. ~shakes head~ Everything went downhill from there.
I don’t regret meeting him or loving him as deeply as I did. I just regret loving him more than I loved myself. Because I loved him so much, I lost sight of what was important to me. I began to stress about being good enough for him and perfecting all the things he criticized me about. By the time I graduated, I had two kids, stretch marks, only two internships under my belt and a below average GPA. I was supposed to be this power chick like I was up until my 2nd year in college. Instead, by the time I graduated, I was this sad, sad baby mama who didn’t even want to leave the house.
After losing myself in the hope of becoming what my Baby Daddy wanted me to be, I turned to God and held on so tightly because I knew He was my only hope of ever becoming the woman that I always knew I was supposed to be.
I thank God for that vision he gave me and the realization that I can’t accomplish them on my own. It’s because of all that drama that I had to take a step back and I realized that Ms. Tee wasn’t so invincible after all.
I guess I needed that wakeup call.
As I pull up to my Mama’s house and check my phone, it’s now 12:59. My boys run up to the door and ring the doorbell. When she opens the door, they run in ans scream, “Where’s Grandaddy?”
Ofcourse he has gifts for them. ~rolls eyes~
Ofcourse my Mama outdid herself in the kitchen. The turkey was wonderful, the mac and cheese, the sweet potatoe pies, collard greens, pigeon peas and rice, mmmm– all wonderful!
I ate, slept and ate some more. We only left because my 5 year old was starting to act up and I wanted to send him to bed early because of his behavior.
Sylvia came by and for the first time ever, we didn’t intoxicate ourselves with anything. It was just like being on the phone, except she was right there. Definately different…
I’m off to bed now. Curious to see what dreams may come and what this kid-free weekend will bring.
Did I mention that my Baby Daddy all of a sudden is acting—-NICE to me? Conversations are much more polite. He is considering what I want instead of just what he wants. He even said, “I don’t want you to stress about money anymore, so I’m going to start sending you more.”
Yeah, I don’t get it either. He actually called and said, “How are you?”
~scratches head~
Maybe he’s finally happy in his life. Maybe he got a raise. Or maybe God had something to do with his recent respectful behavior. But um, I’m still a little wary of him. But I’m so glad to see any small amount of change.
We’ll see how long this lasts.
