Month: November 2005

Sneakin In…

I don’t know what to say.

I can’t believe I’m sitting in front of a computer, with electricity, and softly stroking my keyboard. ~sigh~ Like old times.

But my power isn’t on yet. I came in to work with my sons to charge my cell phone and enjoy the a/c and computer. School hasn’t opened back up yet and it’s been more than a week since the storm hit.

Things are returning to normal though. It’s nothing like it was the first few days after the storm. Those were very scary and frustrating days. It’s just that 22% of Miami-Dade county doesn’t have power restored yet and I’m one of them. Every night I light my six candles and sit in the dark. I sit and stare and pray that the phone will ring so that I will have SOME form of social interaction. ~sigh~

Have you ever had to do that? Just had hours and HOURS to sit and think with nothing else. EVERY DAY FOR A WEEK. No distractions. You’re FORCED to let your mind go. And my mind went all over the place- places I really didn’t want to go.

Every night for the past week, I sat alone in the dark and thought and thought and rethought and rehashed old times and recreated new hopes and new dreams and new fantasies.

Lonely.

Lonely.

Left alone to allow your mind to roam, where would you be? Without the constant distraction of technology what would you do?

I’ve written a thousand stories in my mind. I’ve made a thousand promises to myself. I’ve come to accept some things that I had never given myself an opportunity to explore.

Child please! This has truly been an adventure. One that I NEVER want to experience again.

But hey…this is Miami.

Every year we all take the same risks and we survive.

Now you KNOW I’ve got a million stories to tell. As soon as I get power I’ll be back.

Until then…enjoy the luxury of electricity cuz some of us can’t.

Hurricane Wilma fucked us UP!

It has been 11 days since the storm hit us and we still have no power. I’m trying to be upbeat about it, but honestly, if I wasn’t freaking out and being emotional, I wouldn’t be ME! So allow me to go crazy for a minute!

No more FUCKING cold showers!

No more FUCKING candles and pop tarts and peanut butter and jelly sandwhiches. No more fucking darkness.

They LIED!

Those muthasuckas they LIED! They said that only 22% of Miami was without power. THEY LIED! Last night I drove from Allapattah all the way up to Miami Shores where I live and there were NO LIGHTS ANYWHERE!

It’s all pitch black. Some street lights were working and a FEW traffic lights were working but it was dangerous as hell and I would never try to drive in that mess again. Since none of the traffic lights are working, everyone has to follow the 4-way stop rule when approaching an intersection. Some people are following it, some people aren’t. I pray everytime I get to an intersection that no one comes barrelling through and “bust up” my car, like my sons like to say.
I’m back at work finally. It feels somewhat normal except I know that by 6pm the sky will be turning dark and I’ll spend the next 5 hours in blackness. I dread the end of the day. Sometimes I take a shot of the leftover vodka to help me go to sleep faster. Sometimes it works.

Today schools re opened for the first time since the storm. My kids went back wrinkled as hell and dusty. They haven’t taken a good warm bath in days.

Everyone is still out grilling food. I have no grill. Even if I did, I wouldn’t know what the hell to do. I have no man in my life to come by and check up on me and make sure I have ice and food. Now I wish I hadn’t cursed all those men out. I should have been nicer to them.

Yesterday I saw the FPL men outside my house for the first time and I cried. I left to go get something to eat and when I came back–darkness.

Still darkness.

I’m so upset. I’m so upset. I’m cursing everybody out left and right. I’m even more uptight than I usually am. Don’t call me talkin about some random nonsense. I promise I will curse you out.

I want my lights! I want my microwave. I want to wash my clothes. And most of all- I want my COMPUTER! I want to write and express myself and interact and dream. I need a re-fucking-lease.

I hate everybody right now.

And fuck you if you do have power and you haven’t invited me over to get some a/c and relax. I now know who my real friends are.

And fuck my Baby Daddy too! I called his ass and told him we had no food and that bitch STILL cursed me out talkin bout, “See, that’s why I’m worried about my boys living with you cuz you over react to everything. Why are you so tender?” I’m like WHAT! WE NEED FOOD! He’s like, “Everyvbody is in the same situation. I don’t live in Miami anymore, I’ll be down there when I get there.” That bitch even told me that he must be doing something right because God keeps blessing him.

I HATE HIS ASS!

Prayer is not working. Nothing is working. I feel so powerless.

How much longer will we sit in the dark like this?

Vacation my ass…I can’t take this shit much longer.

You know you live in South Florida If…

You have FEMA’s number on your speed dialer.

You have more than 300 ‘C’ and ‘D’ batteries in your kitchen drawer.

Your pantry contains more than 20 cans of Spaghetti O’s.

You are thinking of repainting your house to match the plywood covering your windows.

When describing your house to a prospective buyer, you say it has three bedrooms, two baths, and one safe hallway.

Your SSN isn’t a secret, it’s written in Sharpie on your arms.

You are on a first-name basis with the cashier at Home Depot.

The road leading to your house has been declared a ‘No-Wake’ Zone.

You decide that your patio furniture looks better on the bottom of the pool.

You own more than three large coolers.

You can wish that other people get hit by a hurricane and not feel the least bit guilty about it.

You rationalize helping a friend board up by thinking “It’ll only take a
gallon of gas to get there and back”.

You have 2-liter coke bottles and milk jugs filled with water in your
freezer.

Three months ago you couldn’t hang a shower curtain; today you can assemble a portable generator by candlelight.

You catch a 13-pound redfish —- in your driveway.

You can recite from memory whole portions of your homeowner’s insurance policy.

At cocktail parties, women are attracted to the guy with the biggest
chainsaw.

There is a roll of tar paper in your garage.

You can rattle off the names of three or more meteorologists who work at the Weather Channel and every single newscaster and reporter at all of the major stations in town.

Someone comes to your door to tell you they found your roof.

Ice is a valid topic of conversation.

Relocating to South Dakota does not seem like such a crazy idea.

You spend more time on your roof then in your living room.

You’ve been laughed at over the phone by a roofer, fence builder, or a tree worker.

Having a tree in your living room does not necessarily mean it’s Christmas.

The hurricane shutter guy and your roofer are driving BMW’s.

You know the difference between the “good side” of a storm and the “bad side.”

You go to work early and stay late just to enjoy the air conditioning.

A battery powered TV is considered a home entertainment center.

A chain saw, generator or a gas grill comes as a free gift with every new Florida mortgage.

Maybe tonight?

~stretching~

I feel better.

Nope, still no electricity but last night after I put the boys to bed and sat down on my couch to talk on the phone by candlelight, for some reason the whole situation became very funny to me. Dude, we’re sitting up with no electricity but everyone is managing quite well.

~singing~ WE SOME SURVIVORS! We ain’t gonna stop, we gonna try harder!

We have all gained survival skills we never knew we had in us.

People sitting outside of the grocery store EARLY in the morning. And they’re not waiting for the store to open, they are lining up to plug their cell phones into the outlets outside the store to charge them up.

We have developed a routine. If we are going out and we know we’ll be out after the sun goes down, you make sure to leave a flashlight by the door so that you can have enough light to light the candles when you get back in.

You know to take a load of laundry with you when you go to visit your friend who has power or wait for hours for a machine to open up at the laundromat.

The small tea light candles work very well, but the BEST candles are the long stemmed ones, they give off way more light than even the little candles in the cup.

Everybody is outside cooking on makeshift grills. My friend called me yesterday and told me a story about how her sister took a shingle that fell off the roof and somehow turned it into a grill, and she made their meals on that. She promised to email me a picture of it. Now you know if I wasn’t cooking BEFORE the storm, ain’t no way I’m rigging up a grill and getting all sweaty NOW.

The Red Cross is giving out food rations which includes a container of MILK. I still don’t understand that but my sons drank it all up and called it DELICIOUS. Also in the box was a can of self warming chicken pasta. The can heats up by itself by some kind of miracle I guess. There was pudding, sunflower seeds, apple juice, orange juice, ravioli and canned fruit.

My Mama called me last night and told me that they were giving out hot lunches at her job. She works at the foodstamp office. She said the Salvation Army gave out plates of spaghetti and peas and the Red Cross came with baked chicken and rice. I wish I had some. I’m not creative with the food preparations, so basically I’ve exhausted all my money by buying myself and my sons one hot meal a day before school and work started back up. Now it’s back to peanut butter and jelly.

Now that the sun goes down just after 6pm I have to make sure my boys are fed before then. Last night I ordered pizza and brought it and my sons to my office to have dinner and relax in the airconditioning until bedtime.

The problem with the electricity is the hurricane came through and blew the light poles DOWN. So it’s not that they have to turn the lights back on, they have to replace most of them. People lost their roofs and many cars were damaged by the storm.

Someone actually called me quoting the people on the news by saying, “We should have been more prepared.” But how many times can you prepare for a hurricane? You just get some water and food and brace yourselves. No one could prepare to be without electricity for weeks. My cousins had to move into their new place without any power, it’s just crazy.

But guess what? We’re a lot stronger than we thought.

I’m not crying anymore. Well, maybe a little. I’m so damn emotional ~grrr~ but I feel a little more upbeat about the whole situation.

Tonight, I’ll lie awake and dream of a warm shower and fresh clean clothes. Maybe the lights will come back on tonight.

What a beautiful, beautiful thought.

Almost, but not Quite

Guess what? My Mama got lights!

Yeah! Yeah!

My goodness. There’s a strange sense of community down here with everyone hoping for the same thing (electricity). When you see someone buying gas or food you smile over at them and ask if they have lights yet. They’ll smile back and say, “No but my sister has lights.” You smile at them and wish them luck as you go back to your dark place.

At work on Friday as my co-workers got phone calls from their families, they would walk into my office building and say, “WE GOT LIGHTS!” And everyone would cheer and clap for them.

Sylvia said at her job, as people got word that their lights had been turned turned on, they made signs to wear around their necks that read: I HAVE ELECTRICITY!

~shakes head~

My Mama called me while I was at Marsha’s house and said, “I got lights!”
“YAY!” I screamed. “I got my dirty clothes in the car, I’m coming to wash a couple of loads!”

I drove all the way here smiling and laughing and in a great mood.

I walked in and flipped the switch in the pantry.

LIGHT!

I laughed.

Then it dawned on me.

If the lights are working…then that means….the COMPUTER IS WORKING!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

~singing~ Get on down! Shake that thang! Pop that thang! One leg up! One leg up! Jump around! Jump around!

Wow. I feel sooooo good.

They’ve GOT to get to my neighborhood next. But until then, maybe if I’m really quiet, my Mama won’t notice I’m still here…~smile~

The Great Food Stamp Give-Away

(Blogging from my Mama’s house. I still have no power.)

I walk up to my son’s daycare and overhear his daycare workers talking to one of the parents.

“Girl! Everybody getting’em I’m SHOLL gone go down there and get me some foodstamps too!”

I laugh and shake my head. The buzz in the streets is that they are having a FOOD STAMP GIVE-AWAY to replace all the food you lost when your power was out.

“It’s ONE TIME ONLY!” The daycare worker says and looks at me. “Anybody can get’em! I’m gonna take me a chair and some snacks and I’m gonna be in that line by 5:00 and I’ll wait all day to get mine!”

“I don’t think I qualify,” I say to her.

“Yes you do! It’s FREE! EVERYBODY qualifies!” she says dramatically, sounding like a car salesman.

Well since my Mom is a Supervisor at the damn food stamp office I know that the rules are a little more strict than that, but I smile and say, “Hey, good luck.”

Starting tomorrow morning different community centers will hold makeshift foodstamp offices so that people can come out, wait in line and get foodstamps. Everyone thinks that you are automatically eligible and people are as excited about it as a kid waiting for Christmas. Well, not EVERYBODY. No one mentioned it at the upscale private school I work for, but as soon as I hit the inner city limits, it’s all the buzz.

I would love to get some free foodstamps, but I’m not gonna spend a whole day waiting in line for them.

So good luck to everyone else. I hope you’re eligible.

****************

This morning I saw a whole fleet of Florida Power and Light trucks heading toward my neighborhood. I ran home twice during the day to check on my place, still no lights.

~sigh~ I’m the only person I know personally that doesn’t have electricity yet.

Maybe tomorrow.

He Wanna be My Man

Check out my new boyfriend in a video dedication to me. LMAO!

~just playin~

This is Fred Marshall and he’s becoming quite famous for his webcam karaoke hits.

But it’s still hilarious!

Click here SEE VIDEO

And God said…

Let there be light.

And so it was.

After my boys and I showered and did another load of laundry at my Mama’s house last night, we took the familiar drive south on I-95 to our neighborhood to avoid the dangerous intersections.

We turned onto our block and I licked my lips. My mouth was extremely dry. I was anxious to see if this was the night. Would we see light when we drove up to our house?

The electricity seemed to be playing a duck, duck, goose game on our block. Some had it, some didn’t.

I stared at the steering wheel as I pulled into my parking spot. I couldn’t bear to look at my front door knowing the window above it would be inviting or disheartening.

Before I got up the courage to look, I heard my son scream, “MAMA! We got lights! YAY!”

I looked up and sure enough the light streamed through every window of our duplex.

We walked in and did a happy dance while holding hands in a circle. I grabbed the phone and dialed my Mama’s number, instructing my sons to cheer when my Mama answered the phone.

“Hello,” My Mama answered.

“1-2-3!” I said and we all screamed in unison, “WE GOT LIGHTS!”

My Mama laughed. “I’m glad for ya’ll. It’s about time.”

“Alright Mama, let me go put these boys to bed.”

I hung up and looked around.

Ugh… The place was a mess, a hot mess. But I didn’t care. IT’s MY hot mess and I’m going to clean it all up myself.

As we lay in the twin sized bed in the dark, during our “tell me about your day” time, where they often regale me with fascinating tales about what they had for lunch, or who got into trouble, my son blessed my heart.

“Mama,” my 3 year old said as I rubbed the back of his brother’s head- he had just banged it on the wall by accident.

“Yes, Boo Boo,” I answered him as I watched him sit up and look out into the darkness.

“The storm knocked our lights out, but God turned them back on.”

“That’s right Boo, Boo.” I told him and rubbed his back. “That’s right. Thank the Lord.”

We have our power back after more than two weeks in the dark.

The world looks like a brand new place to me.

My Worst Nightmare

I had a dream last night. Well, it was more of a nightmare and I can’t stop thinking about it.

I dreamt I was washing my hair when I realized that it wasn’t shampoo I was using.

It…

~gulp~

It was a…

~Praying~ Lord, please forgive me for these impure thoughts.

It was a PERM!

~cringing~ I know! I know!

I felt so badly when I saw my chemically straightened hair that I ran to my closet and pulled out 6 packs of honey blonde synthetic hair and begged my Mama to braid it for me.

I’m not against women who get perms, but for me, it just means that I’ll have to DO SOMETHING to my hair. And that frightens me. I’ll have to wrap it or tie it up or either go to the hairdresser. ~sigh~ I don’t make enough yet to have a personal hair stylist so until then, I’m not getting a perm.

I’m supposedly letting my hair grow out. It’s been two months since I’ve had a haircut and it’s grown about an eighth of a centimeter. So now my afro is about half an inch long. Maybe I’m supposed to be bald headed for life.

Thank God I’m cute with it!

*************
Read this piece about the 12 days of Wilma. And I thought I was the only one who went crazy!

Ms. Ritchie Rich

When I say the students at the private school where I work get the best of the best, it’s really not an understatement.

Imagine being in first grade and Mommy drives you up to school. Mommy doesn’t have to get out of the car because there is a worker standing there ready to open the car for you, help you out and guide you to your classroom. No lie. That’s how they roll at my school.

And afterschool, you won’t have to sweat a bit. As the parents pull into the circular drive-way, pushing nothingless than the newest model Hummers, Bentley’s and Porsche’s, there is a woman there with a microphone announcing each and every parent as they drive up.

Last week they rented an expresso company to come out for 2 hours to make us any type of expresso, coffee, capuccino or tea we would like, as a treat for the faculty and staff. I’m not much of a coffee drinker, but I made sure to try my first capuccino. It was alright. I don’t want another one. It tastes too much like coffee to me. They do nice things like this for us all the time.

Today, the entire school was buzzing over one a student who is having a bat mitzvah this weekend. Our city’s paper reported that her parents spent more than $500,000 on the 13 year olds party. Her dress was tailor made by Dolce & Gabbana and it cost her parents, $27,000. She is supposed to have Ashanti, Ja Rule, Omarion and Marques Houston performing at her party.

~raises eyebrow~

Yeah. These kids are loaded. Well, their parents are.

Just being in this atmosphere makes me long for more. I’ve always dreamt like this, but now that I can see it and touch it, it seems like it’s even more tangible. Attaining the type of success that most of the school’s parents have is not out of my reach.

I have to amp myself up everyday by repeating, “It’s yours. You can have it. You will have it. Personal stylist. Personal hairdresser. Drivers. Housekeepers, the whole 9! It’s yours girl! Be patient! You’re worth it.”

It’s mine. I claim it.

Now I have to walk in it.