Well the Lord knows how much longer my car will hold out. And he knows my credit score too! LOL So, come on God, if its your will, make something happen. I trust you.

Well, I was approved for my car loan, but I redid my budget and it seems as if I dont have enough to pay the car payment AND pay my tithes. So, obviously Im not getting a car anytime soon. I’m not worried. God says “TRY ME!” when it comes to tithes and offerings. If you are faithful with your tithes, He will open up the heavens and pour out his blessings on you.

You wonder why some people are stressed financially? They arent faithful tithers. Ever since I heard this promise and actually got a job so that I had some income, I held on to the promise that no matter what, as long as I tithed I would always have enough.

ANd Im not rich, but I get to go to Walmart whenever I want and buy my babies clothes and I get to buy accessories when I have somewhere nice to go, and I love buying little chokers, earrings and necklaces. I dont ask for much, just enough to make me feel safe.

If my car gets worse, its already limping, then I guess Ill have to go get a cash car. Which wont be that bad. I guess.

Anyway, Im finally getting into the flow of things at my job. If you show me something once, I have it down, it doesnt take me much time, you just have to show me and not expect me to figure it out for myself.

I got a treat this week. I got to speak to Anna AND Tamara! All in one week! That never happens. Anna lives back home in Miami and Tamara is in Tallahassee. Anna broke her foot so she’s home instead of finishing up her internship. Strangely enough shes not stressed about it. But you know, Anna was always like that, where I would expect the worse to happen, she expects the best. When I asked her how she was doing, she just said, “I guess God is trying to slow me down. I know He’s protecting me from something.”

Im glad she’s pursuing her relationship with God. It’s amazing when the friends you used to go buck wild with, want to turn it all over to Christ. The strange thing is, my other bestfriend Tamara is doing the same thing. I never thought she would. It never really crossed my mind but here she is, praying more, reading her word and attending a Bible study.

I just pray that I dont push them too much. You know how it is, when you been doing the saved thing for longer and you try to force your friends to do everything exactly like you do it? Thats wrong. And it actually pushes them away from God. It makes them feel bad about what they have already accomplished in Christ. Everyone has their own place, dont encourage them in their sin, but dont beat them up because they are not convicted the same ways that you are. They will have to answer for themselves one day. All you can do is be a light. Live right in front of them and share, SHARE, SHARE what God is doing in your life.

i’m not a perfect disciplemaker nor am I a perfect disciple. ~sigh. Though I wish I could get it right. I wish my heart would change. Im so obstinate about relationships with people.

This must be THE LORD!

Ok, my Pastor hooked me up with a book editor/writer/publisher that goes to my church (YAY!) and he asked me to assist him on some of his projects. FAVOR!

So far Ive written one book review for a magazine and Im working on transcribing some notes for a book that he’s working on. You wont believe how blessed I was when I read the book I had to review. It was called Leadership by the Book. It taught me how to emulate Jesus and be a servant leader and still achieve earthly success by focusing on helping others to achieve their dreams and goals. It was a great book!

Now, Im transcribing these notes from a man who is teaching about Negative Capablity, which I dont quite understand yet but he said something that stirred me even as I was typing it.

He said:

Why are you wasting time in worry, doubt and frustration wondering why you are facing obstacles? Instead you should focus on the positive possibilities for OVERCOMING them. You refuse to allow the negative forces in the environment to control your emotions.

That speaks to my situation RIGHT now. On my job I was so stressed, even miserable because of the negativity I was experiencing there, but I need to just focus on the possibility of my overcoming them and rejoice in the promise of God that I WILL overcome them and not allow my temporary situation to ruin my joy.

Aint that powerful?

And Im actually getting PAID to read this stuff? Isnt God amazing?

Hey Everybody!

~yawn~

Im sleepy. But i had to get my daily writing fix in. I always have a story in my mind that Im just bursting to tell. Sometimes I walk around all day looking forward to coming home and writing about something that has happened. I re-tell the story to myself over and over, using different words, different approaches, feening for the chance to sit down and share.

But alas, after I made the boys dinner, gave them a bath and put them to bed. I had to work on these projects and now that Im done im pooped. Instead of sharing my heart, Im gonna snatch the Fudge Brownie Icecream out of the fridge and call my mama so she can make me laugh until I fall asleep.

Things are going so much better at work though, yall. You know Im not that friendly, but Im really enjoying what Im doing now. Its very emotional though, knowing that the subjects we are studying are REAL PEOPLE with diseases and ailments and some of them have died or about to die.

I cried so much at work today. My doctor Neale came up to me and asked me if I was okay. “Neale,” I cried, blowing my nose. “He’s dead.” I said pointing to the data that i was entering into the computer. “It’s like Im reading his journal of his last days. He’s dying before my eyes.” I sobbed.

Neale walked away and came back. “I dont want to seem cold-hearted but this is a study. I realize that our patients are REAL but you have to seperate yourself from that emotion, which I know is harder said than done.”

And just think, I dont even have any contact with the patients. All Im doing is helping out a little by entering data. I usually just edit the results of the study. Imagine if I had to actually interview the patients like Charlene does or call them like Erica. And then in this particular study that we’re working on now, everyone has Cancer. So they have to be interviewed right after they get their chemotherapy.

I feel so sad, knowing that every patient in our study is about to die. And they know it and they still want to help us by letting us study them.

OK. OK. I have to admit. Im starting to really like my job. Im so busy and Im doing fun stuff like designing posters and Im on an award-winning research team and this medical stuff is starting to make sense to me. Who knew?

I still have a hard time when I have to go into the actual hospital and I walk by patients, I feel so bad for them, they look so worn out and to think they fought in wars and defended this country and some of their illnesses are a result of that.

I have a new respect for men and women in the military. Veterans are important people, they are doing something that I could never do. While most of us sit in our cushy offices and email back and forth and complain because our lunch breaks are never long enough, they are out there doing the unthinkable, risking their lives for us. We should be more grateful.

For all the men and women out there who continue to enlist and serve—THANK YOU!

Just one of dem days….

Every once in a while I figure I deserve a treat. And after a great week, finally relaxing at my job and the fact that I got PAID today, I decided tonight is one of those nights.

The recipe for Ms. Tee’s night of fun is quite simple:

2 movies

1 Smirnoff Ice Triple Black

Crab legs

Mix and ENJOY!

I’m kinda making fun of myself but Im being serious too. This is actually what I do when I want to have a fun night. I enjoy it. What do you do to relax on a Friday night?

Juuuusssst GREAT! ;(

I had everything all set up. The boys in the bed. The lights down low and I go to put the DVD in and the doggone door won’t open. My mind flashes back to my son Solomon standing in front of the DVD player with a banana in his hand. I remember seeing the DVD door open and his fingerprints on it and I smacked his hand and closed the door. It wouldnt close, so I shoved it. Now it wont open and I cant watch my movies!

I’m pouting over here! Seriously, the ONE time in a whole month that I try to have some fun and now my DVD player wont work. Mannnnn…..

Now this is where having a man would come in handy. He’d either come fix it or buy me another one so I can continue on with my night. If I had some family or friends here I could probably get some help too. But Im here alone. Dang….

I guess Ill have to wait until tomorrow afternoon to go buy another one. The boys are already in bed.

In case you couldnt tell, Im MAD!

Im much better now. As usual, sneaking in a moment to write and chat a bit while my boys eat breakfast and drop the rest on the floor.

THEBIGBLOGSHOW

Check out this site. It’s called THE BIGBLOGSHOW. The Internet’s First Reality Blog. I submitted my blog for consideration for the 9 cast members chosen from around the world who will have access to a single blog and have to blog together.

Sounds confusing? I’m confused too. But Im sure the creators of the show will have everything ironed out by the time they choose the winners. I wasnt chosen as a winner because they havent chosen the winners yet, but they did select me to be one of the featured examples of who is applying to be on their show.

So, check’em out and I’ll check you later. Im hungry.

When you’re in Christ

And you look at your life

And you feel like you have

Such a long way to go

That crud, that dirt

Just won’t come off

And each night you feel so low

You close your eyes, sigh

Ask God why

If you can recognize

The trial

When will it go away?

Hmm…

I don’t care what anyone says. This internet life is fun!

I love technology. I love weblogs and I especially love writing. The internet combines my love for communication and sharing and is just the most fabulous place to be. I can sit here for hours, reading or writing or interacting with new people. Call me a nerd if you want, but there’s so much to do.

Soon, I’ll share a list of weblogs that I like to read. If you have one and you’d like to get a link to your weblog, let me know.

EMAIL ME- ptygrneyez@yahoo.com

In the meantime, check out BLOGWISE, a directory of weblogs that I am listed with.

Later….