You know, I get lots of people who write to me and tell me how much Ive impacted their life with my honesty. I guess some struggles are universal and so many people realize they see themselves in me.
Most times I dont feel like Im struggling though. Most of my struggles come when other people try to speak into my life and tell me how I should be living and what I should be feeling. Then I struggle and wrongly so, because it’s not God I’m trying to please it’s them.
And Im guilty of being one of those people who try to push my convictions on others. I realize its out of love when I do it, but its still the same ‘ol thing. Until God moves, the thing you want your friend/disciple/co-worker to become convicted about, will never change. I’m not saying dont say anything to them. Mention it and then leave it alone. I’m so tired of feeling like I dont measure up and more importantly Im sorry I make my friends feel like their effort is worthless.
Any effort is better than none at all although you should aim to raise the bar in your standard of living for Christ on a consistent basis. But who wouldnt get tired of hearing that they dont measure up to what you think they should be? It’s been over a year and a half of that- Its getting really old.
But will I stress it? Im past that. I’m so tired of trying to please people. I will just continue to celebrate those who accept me for me- even with all my mess.
I once wrote a poem about expectations. I cant remember the whole thing, but the first few lines went like this:
Your Expectations are like wishes for me
As if my wishes arent enough
Too bad I didnt know you expected anything
Until I didnt measure up…
Hmm….