The Worst Night Ever

Last weekend I was at home chillin like a lazy bum when my phone rings. The phone number on the caller ID is unfamiliar but I answer it anyway.

“Heyyy TEE!” a voice says with a giggle.

Huh? SYLVIA!

Ahhhhhhhhh!

Sylvia was the FIRST woman I met when I got to college.

She’s…different.

Ms. Sylvia hails from the luxurious city of Naples, Florida. She’s a mixed chick, her Mom is white and her Dad is black, but she’s mixed in more ways than one. LOL!

I must say this is one woman that I will never get tired of chilling with. She’s mad cool without being an airhead, she’s smart without being a nerd and there’s something about a person that has been right there growing with you, that makes me feel so grateful to know her.

Deja Vu’ all over again when I first came to UF. I went off to college knowing absolutely no one , (boo-hoo) and for some reason all I kept meeting were guys. The women were not as friendly. It was the second week of school and I got a call from a guy I had met named Orlando. He told me to meet him outside our dorm and we would walk over to Trusler Hall to meet a girl he knew. “Ya’ll both be talking about ya’ll don’t have know any girls, so I may as well introduce ya’ll,” Orlando said and then laughed. I walked over with him and smiled when I saw…Sylvia.

She was petite and cute like me, with a BIG smile and a cool personality. We exchanged numbers and to this day I consider her to be one of my closest friends.

It is amazing to sit and chat with her talking about college in the past tense. I remember we’d travel all over Florida together; enjoying partying, wildin’ out and the whirlwind of relationships that we’d hurricane through. We’d have memorable girls nights; I’d grab the crab legs, she’d come through with the Corona’s, we’d rent a movie and never get through it because we had so much to talk about. Man! The college life. It’s over. What’s next for us?

“Girl I moved back to Miami!” she screamed.

“Ahhh, we’re going out tonight!” I cooed.

She laughed. “Yeah, I wanted to go down to South Beach because I haven’t been in a minute.

I roll my eyes. I have. But oh well, each time down there is an adventure.

“Come pick me up now and we’ll hang out at your place and leave from there.”

She scoops me and we head west to her part of town. Her apartment is cute, but ridiculously overpriced. We sit on her bed and under a thick cloud of herbal essence we proceed to update each other on our lives.

I call my girl Melissa and tell her to be ready by 9pm. I tell my little sister too. Sylvia must have been too gone to hear me because by 9pm this chick was still painting her toes.

I am the most impatient person alive. And when Sylvia stands in front of the bathroom mirror for, no lie, ONE WHOLE HOUR, doing her MAKEUP, I’m about to stab her with her curling iron.

“I’m sorry Tee, I didn’t know you wanted to leave so early. These guys wanted to go with us and I told them we’d meet them after midnight.”

Ughhh.

My sister calls and tells me she’s not going anymore. Melissa calls and says the same. I know it’s way too late to find a parking spot on South Beach, and I’m irritated.

It’s almost midnight and she’s finally ready. I must admit, she looks great in a classy black tube dress and high heels, but damn, she should look like a STAR after taking 20 years to get dressed!

I know it’s cold out so I’m wearing some simple black pants and a cute red top with my staple jean jacket.

We meet up with the guys and as expected they’re not cute. But oh well, as long as they’re buying drinks I don’t care. We all roll out and we make it down to SoBe in record time. Ofcourse it’s almost 12:30 am. so theres no parking and we pull into this parking garage that is charging $15!

First of all, when I go out, I don’t expect to spend any money, but I bring $20 just in case. So I fork over my half of the money and we park. It’s FREEZING cold outside and the clubs are charging $20 to get in and free drinks all night.

Sorry, I’m not paying for a damn thing.

We finally find a club with no cover and we walk in. No wonder, there are maybe 8 people in there on the dance floor.

We order drinks and sip waiting for more people to come.

They don’t.

The guys we are with sit down and Sylvia asks me if I want to go to another club. I’m like, yeah.

She goes over to the guys and comes back to me. “They don’t have any more money to get into another club after paying for parking so I told them to stay here and we’ll be right back.”

They don’t have any money?!! WHAT?!!!

Q: What kind of man goes out with NO MONEY?!

A: The kind that will never see my face again.

We leave and go next door to the place that I called Chico Heaven last time I was there, Club Empire. No cover for the ladies, ofcourse we go in. It’s hot! Great crowd, good music. We order drinks and I’m ready to shake my booty when Sylvia grabs my arm.

“We can’t stay here long. As soon as I finish my beer we have to go back to the guys.”

“Why?” I ask. I can’t believe her, this is a great party.

“Cuz, I sorta left my keys and my cell phone with them and I don’t want to get seperated.”

I roll my eyes. THIS chick…

So we can’t dance. We’re just standing there on the second floor against the glass raling peering down longingly at the pulsating crowd while she drinks her beer.

We leave and head back to the free club and to the spot where we left the guys. They’re gone.

“I can’t believe they left. And since I don’t have my cell phone I don’t know their numbers to call them.”

“Use my phone, it’s almost dead but call your phone. Maybe they’ll answer.” I scream over the loud music.

I sit down on the white leather couches and wait.

She comes back to me and says she called her ex boyfriend and told him what happened and he said he was on his way. Her asshole of an ex boyfriend? I roll my eyes.

In the meantime it’s already almost 2am and I am so tired. I lie back and put my feet up as the crowd in the club gets thicker.

I can hear the party, but my eyes are so heavy that I can’t see it.

Sylvia comes up to me and says that he ex showed up but he wasn’t ready to leave so he told her to wait for him there and he’d be back to take us home. Whatever…

“I’m gonna go back out and check more clubs to see if they went in there,” she tells me and I cuddle back up in the corner of the sofa. I consider calling someone to come get me and I take out my phone. It’s dead. Thanks Sylvia…

I’m stuck at some club on South Beach at almost 3 in the morning with relatively no cash and no cell phone. And Sylvia has dissappeared in search of those missing broke guys.

Her ex never comes back to get us.

Sylvia shows her face again and nudges me. “Ok, how about we go back to the garage to check and see if they have left yet?”

The elevator is broken so we walk up five flights of stairs in the freezing cold and see that their car is still there. We then walk back down five fights of stairs in the 40 degree weather and walk the strip to see if we can find them.

We’re both in a pissy mood so we practically scream at the guys who are trying to talk to us, “LEAVE US ALONE!”

“Ok,” she says after a half hour, “It’s too cold out here, let’s go back to the garage and maybe they’ll be there soon.” I’m suffering but Sylvia is REALLY suffering. She is basically wearing nothing and the winds are ridiculous since we’re so close to the water.

We hike the 5 flights back up to the car and we stand there and wait. And wait.

And wait.

And freeze.

And wait.

She pees in a corner of the garage.

We wait some more.

I ain’t never going nowhere with this chick again.

I kick their car, leaving a scratch. I take out my lipstick and write all over their windows.

“Tee, don’t take it out on them, you should be kicking my car, not theirs, I’m the IDIOT who left my keys with them.” Sylvia says while crouching behind the car, trying to shield herself from the wind. “Just go Tee.” she encourages me. “Just call someone and leave me here. I’ll be fine.”

“Just shut the hell up! I’m not leaving you here in the cold by your damn self!”

We wait.

We wait.

The parking garage is slowly emptying. One by one we watch as the cars leave. We stand there and wait. We ask the time. 4:45. Oh good, the clubs close at 5. They’ll be here soon.

We eventually walk back down the five flights of stairs and onto the street. I see two guys walking toward us. “That’s THEM!” Sylvia says.

I walk away. I’m headed back to the garage, back up the five flights of stairs.

When I walk up two flights and I don’t hear them behind me I get worried.

I walk back down to see Sylvia scream and grab her phone.

“What the FUCK is going on?” I scream at them.

“Chris (her ex) ran into the guys earlier and he TOOK MY KEYS!”

I want to cry.

The guys can see I’m pissed. Sylvia is calling and calling her ex but he doesn’t pick up his cell phone. She’s screaming all kinds of obscenities into his voice mail.

When we get back to their car they don’t say anything about the lipstick.

They drive me home. I slam the door without saying goodnight.

The next day I wake up at 3 p.m. and my Mama says that Sylvia came by to drop off my purse which I left in her car.

“That girl is so dramatic,” my Mama says. “She walked up to the door with her head hanging low and she kept apologizing over and over again, telling me to tell you she’s sorry. Lookin like a simp. Boy I tell you, you can sure tell she’s one of YOUR friends…”

Yeah, she’s my friend alright.

~smiling~

Never a dull time with this chick. ~laughs~

But I’m sure we’ll hang out again.