Why Am I Here?

Houston almost lost a new resident last night.

It happened close to midnight. I was sitting up in my bed staring out into space when I realized that all of my plans for Houston had fallen through. The worried words of my friends began to replay themselves in my ear.

“You’re going to a city where you know NO ONE just because some man made you a promise. You don’t know him. He could be telling you anything.”

“Don’t be running back to us when you fall flat on your face.”

“Why HOUSTON? Why not Atlanta or LA? Why are you going there?”

“Help me understand how you are supposed to make money off of this idea.”

“HOW ARE YOU GOING TO LIVE?”

“What are you thinking, Tee?”

What was I thinking?

Well, I was thinking that my time in Atlanta was up and my next opportunity was in Houston. I was thinking that FINALLY a business leader cared enough to want to TEACH me some things that I can’t learn unless I fumble and mess up. I was HOPING to get ahead.

But they were right. Those friends of mine were right. The man didn’t live up to his word and here I am in Houston with no job and nowhere to live.

I panicked. Oh shit. What the hell am I doing in this weird ass city with all these damn Mexican restaurants? I don’t even like Mexican food. What the hell are all of these side roads that run parallel to the expressways? Why do all of the expressways have two names? I’m driving on I10 looking HARD for Katy Freeway but I can’t find that bitch for nuthin! Duh,,,they are the same thing.

I don’t know anyone. I can’t even get a dime if I wanted to cuz I haven’t seen any Black people since I’ve been here except for that night at the Sky Bar. Are there Black people in Texas? Where are you?

Oh Lord. What am I gonna do? I’m down to the wire. ~huffing~ I’m almost out of breath. I’m about to drown. ~huffing~ I know. I’ll leave. I can leave first thing in the morning. I have a full tank of gas. I can just drive and drive until my gas runs out. ~huffing~

Before I allowed myself to get too emotional I got a call from an angel who challenged my view.

Do you believe that God made the way for you to get there?

Ofcourse. It was only God cuz I didn’t and still don’t, have anything,

Why are you in Houston?

To start my non profit.

Can you start the business without the CEO’s guidance?

Yes, I can. I have the business plan and model all ready. I just need stability in housing and income for my bills then I can work it.

If you left Houston and went back to Atlanta or even LA, would you be in a better or worse situation?

The same as here. Still having to start over.

Have you given Houston a fair chance?

~mumbling~ I just… I’m scared. I don’t know shit about this city. Why would any of these people care about me and my dream? I don’t know. What if they hate me?

You had to know it would come to this. I know you prepared yourself. You KNEW you were going to be lonely. Didn’t you say you were willing to sleep in your car? What happened to all that? Now you see that may really be a reality and you’re about to run. You gonna keep running?

Man..fuck you. Your ugly ass. I ain’t running from nothing!

It’s your choice. You can make it happen wherever you want to make it happen. It’s all about you deciding where you want to be.

Where do I want to be?

I’ll sleep on it and I’ll let God tell me. However I feel in the morning is how I will handle it.

We’ll see…