~sigh~
Remember the blogging job that I got at the parenting website? I already received one paycheck and it came right on time..the only thing is…
I’m not good at blogging on a schedule. I only write when I really have something to say, but since I’m only required to write twice a month, when my turn comes, I literally sit and stare at the screen wondering what the hell I’m going to write about. It’s uninspired writing. No topic. No guideline, huge audience..but I have nothing to say.
My blog sucks. Literally it does. The stories I’ve written so far make me look so sad and dissappointed with my life. That’s not the way I want to come off it’s just..I don’t know. When it’s TIME for me to blog, I can’t think of anything to say.
Isn’t that crazy?
I have so much I want to share about developing a healthy relationship with my children and their father. But I can’t find the right method, the right delivery. I don’t know why blogging for money is different from blogging from my heart but for some reason, it is.
I am dissappointed with myself, I thought this would be easier. I thought I’d have valuable information to share.
You know, now that I’m focusing on the fact that I’m NOT cutting it as a blogger, I can hear all of these other thoughts along the same line creeping in.
Oh yeah..and what about your article writing style, that could use some polishing as well.
Yeah..Did you read that one story that Yolanda sent to you? Why can’t your writing be more like that?
You’ve never written a cover story. Why aren’t you doing that?
What kind of writer are you anyway? You’re not too good at any one specific style.
~sigh~
See what I mean about focusing on what’s going wrong instead of what’s going right? Your thoughts snowball and you forget that you DO have great things happening.
The truth is, something must be good about my writing because people keep hiring me. I can’t be that bad because I’m published on a regular basis. I’ll find my voice eventually. I’ll figure out which medium I’m best at.
Hmmm…I remember being delighted at my writing for the website. I never doubted my abilities when I was producing fun web features like 10 Things I Wish I Had Done Before I Became A Mom and How To Tell If Your Boyfriend Will Make a Good Father.
I even enjoyed one of my first published pieces called A Night On The Town With The Kids In Tow. and I loved the one about FashionWeek Live in Houston.
Man…I think all of this writing for news, entertainment, corporate pieces, web features, news features and now..research based writing for my grad classes is confusing my brain… my writing style is all over the place.
Damn…Did you just read what I wrote? I can write in ALL of those styles and get published… I’m hot shit!
~poppin collar~
What kind of writer am I?
~shrug~
Maybe I don’t have to choose…