Waking Up

Well…even though I had to sleep in my car I managed to get a good night’s rest. I woke up around 4:30am and went to my office to change clothes/put on makeup etc. I’m not sure if it was the night air or my sickness setting in but I couldn’t even SPEAK without sounding like an old man and my throat was burning, body hurting, the whole nine.

But I had nowhere else to go so I went to work after going to find breakfast. I made my list of daily goals and those things that weren’t strictly “planning” I completed before 8:30am. My body whispered, “You need to go.” So I emailed my Director and left.

I drove over to the complex that I had chosen, got out of my car and walked stiffly into the office. The Office manager greeted me warmly and went through my lease with me. Because of my throat I couldn’t speak to her but she was very understanding.

WHen the time came for me to write the check for my first month’s rent, I paused and bit my lip.

There’s no money in my account right now, but I know that God wants me to have a place to live and I know that He will put money into my account before the check clears.

I BELIEVE!

So I wrote the check, collected my keys and drove over to my apartment.

I stood outside for a few seconds before opening the door.

When I walked in, I looked around. I walked around.

I turned on all of the lights.

I layed down on the floor.

I looked at myself in the mirror.

Then I screamed! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

I have MY OWN PLACE!

No one can kick me out!

No one can make me move my stuff!

No rules like in the Professors house- “You can’t use my house phone for more than 30 minutes.” “No men allowed.”

No rules like Kia’s house- “No one can have sex in my house but ME!” “No eating or drinking anywhere but at the kitchen or dining room table.”

No rules like at the hostels- “No alcohol.” “No visitors.”

No rules- PERIOD!

I’m have an ORGY up in this piece! Naw…I’m not interested in that anymore.

But I will relax and have a nice glass of wine.

By the time I finished praising God the rain had slowed down so I moved all of my clothes and pictures and shoes from my car.

Then I went to Walmart and swiped my card on faith because I needed a shower curtain, shower gel, cups, toilet paper.

By the time I got back to my place my body crashed. I smoothed out the blanket I took from Tamara’s old apartment and the pillow Ruby left in Atlanta when she came to visit and made a bed for myself on the living room floor.

And I slept…

And slept….

I slept for years, washing the dirt off of my mind, the contempt from my heart, the anger from my soul, replacing it with joy and appreciation that God has brought me to the place He has for me to be. A place of blessing. If I DARE to believe that He wants me to be here, I can change my mindset that everyone is being insincere in their affection toward me. God wants to bless me with friends and family. I can trust, show them love and receive love in return.

After my long nap I opened my eyes and looked around.

Wow.

I’m not living on the streets anymore.

This will become my home.

I can’t wait to decorate and get furniture and all my friends are going to come visit me now!

I’m so happy and so blessed and soo…grateful to be living in Dallas, Texas.

I love it here!