Thanks for your help

I couldn’t find a relative, friend or anyone to help me. Believe it or not, I’m pretty much anti social so I have never made friends with any of the other Moms in my kid’s classes. I take the boys to birthday parties but I’m not a part of the gossip circle or social scene at the school. I’m open to conversation but it’s pretty tough to befriend me. I felt bad about this for a while but then I thought…hell…if I don’t accept myself no one will.

I’m kind of annoyed because during the first interview I told him that those hours weren’t workable for me since I live in another city. He assured me that it wasn’t that big of a deal. Today he told me that the checked with his regional director and he was told that those early hours are very important.

It wasn’t a good match from the beginning. It seemed like a great opportunity though but I refuse to believe it was my last.

My Mama got on me again tonight reminding me that it’s no longer about me and my desires for a career, it’s about my kids. It’s their world. My schedule/desires should revolve around whatever it will take to take care of them. Basically she rebuked me for taking risks when I have children to think about. “You should have never left that school,” she told me. “I stayed at my job for 20 years because of you. I did what I had to do.”

I’m not above doing what I have to do. I just don’t know what that is. I don’t want to start a job where I feel I will be unsuccessful. I want to give superior service. I want to be all I can be. LOL!

It’s time to choose a new career. I don’t want to let go of my hope of writing and speaking full time, but I don’t want to deal with the pressure associated with these creative jobs.

I don’t know what I’d be good at. Definately not physical labor. I enjoy customer service. Maybe even sales. I don’t know. Sales sounds depressing though. See, I don’t know. How do ya’ll find ya’ll career if it’s not anything you ever considered doing? Why do I feel like it’s the end of the world?

I don’t know. I guess it all starts with getting a return phone call after my resume is sent.

I guess I have been lucky (?) so far that no one has called me. There’s no way I could work while I am sick like this.

Back to square one.

Still looking and hoping and praying and loving on my sons.

I’m trying to stay positive but honestly, my friends call me up and freak me out because they are worried for me. ~sigh~

Damn…I’m hungry.