Sweet Lullaby

Saturday Night

Ring, Ring!!!

Ohh shit. Where is the damn phone? I mutter as I pull back the covers and walk barefoot in the dark, out my room door, through the empty dining room.

My hand sweeps the wall for the switch. BINGO!

As my eyes adjust to the bright light I see the phone light up again. Hmm.. I recognize this number. Oh Lord….

“Hello,” I mutter as I flop onto the couch.

“Hey Sweetie. Long time no see.” a familiar masculine voice speaks confidently into my ear.

I bite my lip and giggle.

“How are yoooouu?” I sing into the phone.

“I’m good. Just haven’t seen you in a while. What’s up with that? You’re long overdue for your monthly check up.”

“Monthly?” I ask flippantly. “Don’t you mean semi-annual?”

“Be funny all you want. You know what’s up. I want to see you.”

“I want to see you too, but my kids are here.”

“That’s okay, we didn’t disturb them last time.”

“Yeah, but that’s why it was so long ago, I never wanted to do that again. I couldn’t be FREE.”

“Come on. You know you had a good time. Didn’t you like it when I ~censored~?”

My face turns red and my heart races as I remember how good that made me feel.

“Yeah, I loved that.” I admit.

“And wouldn’t you like it if I ~censored~?”

“Hell YEAH! Shit- YEAH!” I squeal.

“Well, what’s up? I can be there in 10 minutes.”

I pause and consider. I am long overdue and dude has 100% positive feedback on his record. And…I have this idea that I’ve been wanting to try.

My concious gets the better of me.

My kids are here.

“Maybe tomorrow?” I say hesitantly.

“You promise?” he asks.

“I’ll call you tomorrow,” I say.

“Look, if you happen to wake up in the middle of the night and you change your mind, remember I’m just 10 minutes away.”

“Ok,” I laugh and hang up.

I don’t return to my room immediately. The sound of his voice brings a tear to my eye. I try my best to stay away from him but truth be told, he is probably the best ‘icecream’ I’ve ever had.

He’s nothing like any man I would ever be with. He’s tall. I don’t like tall men. Skinny. When I’m with a skinny man I think to myself, I may as well be with a woman. He does physical labor for a living for goodness sakes. I’d actually prefer a professional. ~sigh~ But he’s also sweet as hell. He treats me like a little sister and I’ve known him since I was 2 years old. Still no long term possibilities here.

Yeah, it’s that old comfortable booty call.

The type of guy you can call up and say, “Hey, I’m stressed right now” and he’ll invite you over and he’ll handle that so well, that you’ll be singing all the way home.

I hug the pillow on my couch and whine into it, “Why can’t he be someone I actually LIKE? Why come the ones with the good ‘icecream’ always be the ones with no damn paperwork (resumes, degrees, portfolios, etc)? But damn he’s good. Long, strong and always on point for me. Damn. I just want to be touched in that way that no one but a man can. Being the good girl is no fun, but it does keep me out of trouble.”

Maybe tomorrow. I think to myself as I head back to my bedroom.

I sigh heavily as I pull the covers back up. Shoot, Mama need to relax too.

Sunday

I get a call from him around 6:30pm.

I answer it and smile to myself because I have already made up my mind.

“What’s up Sweetie” he asks cautiously. “I wanted to finish the conversation we had last night.”

I giggle.

“Yeah, we can do that.” I tell him softly. “Around 9:30. I have a surprise for you.”

“Aight,” he says. “I’ll be there.”

“Later.”

Lord, please don’t let these kids wake up…