The wildest thing about not being intimate with the internet anymore is the fact that now that I don’t have the internet, I interact more with real people.
This is so foreign to me.
I’m so used to being able to hide behind a screen, an IM, a text or a telephone. A writer’s life is kind of lonely if you want to stay focused on what you’re trying to do.
Now, I’m meeting new people everyday all day at TWO DIFFERENT JOBS! I feel like my whole world just turned upside down.
Sometimes my chest starts to hurt but I just put on a smile and remember why I’m there. I want to make money. And then my heart calms down and I can have fun talking to people and learning.
It’s so wild that just before all of this went down I had the hankering to leave Second Life and do something MORE. I uninstalled the program from my computer and haven’t really thought about it since. Maybe I can go back when I’m better at pursuing relationships with people. I never pursue, I think my relationships just happen. No pushing or pulling just the sweet evolution.
I feel like I’m being pulled out the closet. No-I’m not talking about THAT closet, I still don’t have a sexual preference, I’m talking about from the space of consistently focusing on my thoughts and feelings to actual interactions, reactions and emotions with REAL people.
Fuck.
It’s going alright so far. I’m real cool for real. I don’t bother nobody. I just smile to myself and do my work, being nice to everybody. I don’t have time for drama or craziness and I don’t carry that energy with me anywhere. I always get my way.
I don’t speak the dominant language at either job. On one job everyone is Haitian and speak Creole to each other, I am one of two people who don’t speak Creole. And the other, everyone speaks Spanish and I am one of two people in the entire group who don’t speak Spanish fluently. Most people speak both and there are about 3 people who speak no English at all. When the trainer trains she has to say everything in English and Spanish.
I like meeting these people. People tell me the craziest things and they don’t even know me like that. One of the girls is a Black Morman. I was like, “WHAT!” She smiled and answered all of my questions about it and told me her life story and how she worships God. She has a boyfriend, he’s Mormon too, but he’s Like..Polynesian I think. She showed me his picture, he’s hot.
So many people…So many people…So many people.
Today it is raining like crazy here. I love the Miami rain though….it seems to wash my brain.
There’s something about being surrounded by water. There’s no place like home.