My life is a miracle.
And apparently so are the lives of my friends. Let me give some updates.
Anna is still in Orlando. We spoke yesterday about her marriage and how it’s going for her. She had some challenges in the beginning but she told me that she had to change her expectations and now everything is fine.
“Yeah girl,” she said. “In the beginning I had all of these ideas of how a man was supposed to be in a marriage. I expected him to KNOW what to do and I was dissappointed when he wouldn’t just do it by himself. Now I…I ask him for what I want and he does it. It takes away a lot of pressure, but I realize that men don’t know what to do, sometimes you have to tell them. He even got me a new cell phone as an early Valentines Day gift. I didn’t have to tell him to do that, so he’s learning.”
Tamara called me this evening just as I finished meeting with my Professor about my Sex Therapy project. I sat down on a bench while I waited for my class to start.
“Tee! [Pretty Ricky] is coming tomorrow and I KNOW he’s going to get me something for Valentines Day, that’s just how he is. But he spoils me and is always doing stuff for me and I want to surprise him by giving him a really good gift BEFORE he gives me a gift. What should I get him?”
“Damn, Prince. You’re the 3rd person that has asked me what I think they should get for their man. Hello! I don’t have a man! I don’t know!”
“Come on Tee! You don’t have a man but you’re creative! You have ideas! Come on! He’s coming into town before I get off work so I only have my lunchbreak to run and get him something and I want it to be good.”
I sigh. “Ok, Prince. Let me think. If I had a man and he was good to me like yours is, I’d probably buy him something that he can always wear. Something that reminds him of me. A piece for his chain or a watch or something.”
“Jewelry!” she exclaimed. “I was thinking about that but I don’t know what to get.”
“Does he have a chain?”
“No, he doesn’t wear one.”
“But wait.” I said. “I don’t know Prince. You guys aren’t even claiming each other yet. Jewelry is a bit much for someone who isn’t even your man. If you do that you’ll have nothing to work up to when he does become your man. For a first Valentines Day gift I’d buy a man I really liked, a shirt…and a cap if he wears stuff like that.”
“Yeah! That’s a good idea. I was thinking about that too. But Tee, he really does a lot for me and we do claim each other. I want him to be like, ‘Wow’ when he sees my gift.”
“Well then jewelry will get you there. Go for a nice chain and if you are ballin like that, a matching bracelet.”
“What about earrings. I think he would like some of those. He has some but the diamonds are so big, they hurt his ears.”
“Hmm…I think that’s a bit much but I will admit, he’ll be blowed. If that’s what you’re going for then do it.”
“Naw…I think I’ll go for the chain because when I see him I want to be like, ‘I got my man shining like that.'”
“Ok, so you’re set?”
“Where do I get it from, Tee?”
“I don’t know! I don’t live in Atlanta.”
“I don’t know either. I don’t really buy men gifts like that.”
“Well, you go ahead and be the first. You learn by trial and error. Besides all of the jewelry stores should have sales going on. They’ll help you.”
So by the time I spoke to Kim, she was yawning and talking about her near death experience when her car hit a pothole and blew her tire on the expressway. She didn’t even know her car had a flat until a light came on inside her car.
“Damn girl! Your car tells you when you have a flat?!”
“Yeah girl. So I pulled over to this gas station about five minutes from my house and got out to see how damaged it was. This man was there and he helped me to patch up my flat and pull it out of the snow.”
“Wow. It’s snowing there?”
“Yeah girl, it IS Chicago.”
“So what are you doing for your man for Valentines Day?” I asked her.
“Girl, I don’t know. I don’t think about all that. Maybe I’ll put some nice flowers in my house and make him dinner. That’s about it.”
“You’re non chalant about it,” I commented. “This is your first Valentines Day together.”
“Yeah but…I never buy gifts for men. I just don’t do that. I only used to spend a lot on my first boyfriend because he used to break me off like $800 jewelry sets and $600 cash for Christmas so I didn’t mind spending money on him because I knew he’d do it for me.”
“Where did you get money like that to buy him big gifts if you were in highschool and you weren’t working?”
“From him, girl,” she replied flippantly. “He always took care of me. But with my boyfriend now, he’s wonderful. I can tell he loves me by the way he takes care of me. He shows it in his actions. But even still, I take it one day at a time because every boyfriend that I’ve ever had treated me like he does and they all wanted to marry me. But guess what? Not ONE of them is in my life today. So yeah, we may be all in love and talking about marriage and stuff but only time will tell. I’m just taking it one day at a time.”