My life is a miracle.
Damn!!! I had soo much fun last night! I mean…I haven’t danced like that in so long! ~smiling~ I thought I needed some secks to release all this tension but the drinks, dancing and the music did it for me!
Today I spent time with my homegirl Mimi and her baby. They are down here for the holiday from Atlanta. We were doing too much dealing with the kids, (I have my boys) to really sit down and talk but it’s okay, just being in her presence was good enough for me.
There’s one conversation that I haven’t had with Mimi and I don’t know how to lead into it.
~clearing throat~
“Mimi…I don’t consider myself to be a Christian anymore.”
I just couldn’t say that to her. She’s such a woman of God and a staunch believer. I am too. I just…don’t believe that Christianity is the only way to know God. But Mimi was the one who helped cultivate my relationship with God. Until this year she was my spiritual mother, I saught her out for encouragement and wisdom in Christ.
Things are different now…I don’t consider her to have that role anymore. I don’t desire it and sometimes I even find that I disagree with certain things that she says, yet, I love her dearly for loving me.
I kinda hinted at my new spiritual direction when I was telling her about Tamara’s new man and how she says he is so wonderful and a dream come true for her. I was trying to give her all the beautiful details when she interrupted me.
“Is he saved?” Mimi asked and looked at me with a smirk.
~sigh~
See. This is why I don’t want to be religious anymore. It really hurts me to have to defend this wonderful story about romance and healing against religious questioning. For the record, he IS a Christian, but thats besides the point. He treats her how I treat her. He is a true friend to her.
Why does everyone have to question his beliefs?
If he’s saved does that mean he won’t ever hurt her?
If he isn’t saved does that mean the relationship is doomed?
When Mimi asked me I just shrugged and said, “Well, I hope you don’t put too much stock into that because when I tell you about meeting my husband he’s not going to be saved.”
“Why not?” she asked incredulously.
“Cuz I don’t want to be with a religious person.”
I don’t.
I don’t want any other person to come between me and God. I don’t want anyone’s interpretation. I don’t want to have to believe in one thing which forces me to discount other areas of thought and doom all other believers to hell.
I don’t want to judge anyone or what they believe. It’s a BELIEF. How can anyone say what’s right or wrong? We can only decide what is right or wrong or US, no one else. Whatever you believe is fine with me. I am not trying to convert you and I have no reason to argue with you telling you that the name you call your God is wrong and the way you choose to serve Him with your life is wrong.
It ain’t really my business anyway. I promise to be happy for you, whichever way you choose. Even if you decide to become an atheist, be the BEST ATHEIST YOU CAN BE!
I want you to be you.
I want you to allow me to be me.
I want all of us to stop judging each other based on some information passed on to us by our parents and our culture. The universal religion should be allowing others to be who they are and believe what they want to believe.
That’s really just my take on it.
You’re more than welcome to disagree.
I won’t judge you.