No…Thank You!

Over the course of my 3 years as a blogger I’ve shared the truth from my heart. I’ve bared my soul in an effort to understand myself better and as a record of my growth. I know I don’t always say and do the right things. I know that my heart isn’t always as pure as it should be. I know that I’m not growing as fast as others think I should, but I’m still trying to become a better person everyday.

Through my desire to improve and motivate myself, I have noticed that I have somehow become an inspiration to others. The crazy thing about it is, YOU, my readers and blog friends have made more of an impact on my progress than you will ever know. I read every comment. I receive every prayer and gesture of good will. Believing in myself is made so much easier because of you. YOU believe in me too. I need that.

Thank you for your encouraging comments and especially to those who have taken the time to write a personal note and send it to my inbox. You won’t guess how many times I have to pull up those emails and cry while reading on those days that I feel like I’m not making a difference when I know in my heart that I was put on earth to help shape and change lives in a positive direction.

I’d like to share with you a few of the letters that I have received that touch me and let me know, even through the rough times, I’m doing something right.

***Names withheld to respect the privacy of the writer.

Dear Ms. Tee,

Your post on Thursday struck me so deep down inside I had to leave my office (big room w/ 4 other people, desks and phones) and find me a secluded stall in a seldom used bathroom and let loose. I have been feeling such misery for the last month that many days I felt it would be better for everyone who knew me if I was not here anymore. My 3 daughters and the idea of someone raising them is what kept me here. I know that I know my girls personalities better than anyone and I have seen how people not understanding them has lead to people not always treating them the way I think is fair. I have tried talking to one of my friends but people are so judgemental and I have realized people don’t really listen.

I have been trying to distract myself out of depression by running the streets a lot. Luckily my kids go away every summer and won’t be home for 3 more weeks because I can’t imagine getting through these days facing them and having to be “normal”.

Your post meant the world to me and gave me hope and helped me to remember that suicidal thoughts come from the devil and I need to let go of my worries and let God deal with them. For the most part that is how I get through my days but this summer has been hard. I am in love with a man, that has a girlfriend and I am so lonely and hurt and then I miss my kids terribly. I always felt that I don’t need a man and I can make it alone but I realize now the difference between being alone and being lonely and I have been so, so lonely for months now. I don’t mind being alone, but loneliness is the pits. I just wanted to say your post was so on time and I believe I have been reading your blog just waiting for this post. I’ll keep reading.
********************************


Hi Ms. Tee,

I read your blog just about every day and I never comment, but I just wanted to email you and let you know that you are truly an inspiration and are blessed. No matter what hurdles may come your way, you never give up. I am also a 26 year old single mom of two boys (ages 5 & 3). There have been many days that I have read your blog and been amazed by the similarities of our lives. I just wanted to say thank you for sharing a piece of your world with others like me. It’s nice to know that there are others who share the same experiences as me.

Take care.
********************

Ms. Tee

I don’t know you or what you’re going through but I read the email your ex sent to you and your last post and for some reason it hits home. I have been in one abusive relationship and I’ve often wondered what it would have been like to have his child right now. To know that I’d never be rid of him is a scary thought. He would make jokes about me in front of his friends, tell me how fat I was in private and how unattracted to me he was, he’d belittle every single thing he could about me even my career choices…because putting me down made him feel better about himself. I don’t know the reasons why this man, that will forever be in your life, treats you the way he does but I know that it has nothing to do with you.

The reasons why you meet men like him is the same reason I met my ex. There is something inside of you that thinks you are worthless so you attract people who like to feed off of that. I had to realize there was something in me that needed to be fixed before I could love again. I am single (still fat) but I’d rather stay this way than to ever be with a man who treats me like I’m anything less than a queen. I must admit that I still take criticism hard…but I don’t let it control or crush me. The time will come when a man will worship and cherish you but you first have to worship yourself. You are beautiful and worthy regardless of what anyone says. When you are blessed the devil tries everything he can to bring you down, don’t let him. I don’t know if my words mean anything to you but I hope they do.
**********************

Hey Tee!
How are you? I hope all is well. Mike gave me the address to your blog and girl I just had to email you myself. Your blog is amazing! He gave me the address a few months ago and the first night I went on, I couldn’t stop reading it. I read alot and I also enjoy writing. Although, I don’t get to write as much as I would like to. Girl, the responsibilities of family, work, and school can get overwhelming. I am sure that you have heard this before, but you are better than a whole lot of people out there. Your style is awesome. I had to stop reading and go back to the very beginning of your blog. You are truly a blessed sista. Your blog could be a NYT bestseller. I pray you get published. Anyway, I just had to tell you how great your site is. Take care and keep doing what you’re doing!
******************************


Ms. Tee,

How are you?

Girl, I love your blog and I just want you to know that you are not alone. I remember you wrote this entry about holding on to God’s promises especially in the area of
l-o-v-e. It was so encouraging and it definitely helped me to remember that I am not alone in my longing for the man of my dreams. God has our backs. As long as we remember that we can’t attract anything outside of what we already are right now.

I would love to be on your email list and I would also love any information you can sure on getting published. I used to be a journalist, but I switched careers a couple of years ago. Now, I’m just trying to figure it all out. Writing always feels like home.

Have a blessed day!

Thank you for being you.
****************************


Hey Ms. Tee,

I ran across your blog one day while playing on my Blackberry and have been addicted every since! I catch myself checking your site every day to see what’s new. I’ve even CALLED my sorors on the phone and read them some of the entries that you’ve made. Anyway, I always wanted to leave you a note, but never have. As a young black woman in Atlanta (Marietta) I understand far too well the things you go through. I just wanted to tell you to stay strong and remain encourgaged. What your supposed to have will come when your supposed to have it. That was the hardest lesson for me to learn and at times I still struggle with it. Please continue to write…your blog gets me through some days. Take care.
****************************

Tee,

I’m glad you are out there doing your thing. Keep your head up. As far as your race issues. Tee, you just needed to meet some white people that you didn’t consider a threat. When I see you or think of you I don’t think black. However when you think of me, I’m “The White Friend”. When I think of you I think of someone who is trying to get to a place better than where she came from. I don’t care who you are, black, white, green, purple, fat, skinny, round, long, that is a person I admire. I admire what you are doing and I wish that more people would think the way you and I do.

Something is telling me that when all is said and done, you will influence more people then you realize. I truly think you already are. You may not see it, but many people are reading your journey in amazement. Anticipating an ending. Some want you to fail, you know who they are. All the people that hate people who do. you know them!!! Misery loves company. They sit in Miami and they are saying “I told her not to do it. Her luck is gonna run out and he’ll be back with the rest of us.” You know there is at least one of them. So many others are hoping you succeed, because deep down they wish they had the strenght that you do.

Every post you make is building someones faith in this world. Those who want to belive, but have no proof are getting that proof through your journey. I don’t have to tell you but continue your journey like you have no fear. There are million waiting to hear the end of the Ms. Tee success story. I’m one of them.