Nights Like This I wish…
raindrops would, fa-a-a-a-alll

I couldn’t bear to open my eyes this morning.

I heard my sons talking to me, but something was drowning their voices out. Ugh…What’s wrong with me? Oh man. My head, it’s pounding. I pulled the covers up to shut out the sunlight. Ahh..that is so much better.

“We wanna eat! We wanna eat!” They chanted while laughing hysterically.

Oh great. I have to get up and make them breakfast.

“We want eggs Mama.”

“No you don’t. You want cereal.”

I trudge into the kitchen and fix them some fruit loops, pour them some juice and I dive back into bed and under the covers. I’ve never had a headache like this before. This hurts. This hurts. I feel like crap.

Is this what they mean when they say they have a hangover? Hmm? Ughh…I don’t like this feeling.

But I was feeling sooo good last night…

Saturday….

Needless to say I wasn’t in a very good mood all day Saturday. When I’m tense like this, it affects my whole day. I’m irritated, I’m bitchy and everything seems to annoy me. I managed to make it through the day without any major mishaps, but generally, I was a little miffed and I wasn’t looking forward to going out.

My only bright spot for the evening was the fact that one of my favorite bloggers, Ted, was in town and I would get a chance to meet up with him. I knew that we weren’t gonna get to hang out because he had his little brother with him and he was underage so he couldn’t really get into anywhere, but at least I’d get to give him a hug and tell him in person how much I loved his writing.

When my sister arrived at my house to babysit, my room was torn completely apart. I was looking for this ONE pair of pants and I was livid! They had dissappeared! Dammit!

An hour later I found them in the FIRST place I looked. “Yo Tee, you need to just relax. Calm down.” I told myself.

I don’t know why. But I couldn’t just relax. I’ve been in PMS mode for about 3 weeks now and it won’t go away.

Sylvia arrives still toting around a big ass jug of vodka. LOL! She is so funny! I take a shower and stand under the HOT water. I rotate my shoulders as the stream of water massages my back. The heat feels so good. I imagine someone is standing there rubbing my back for me. I’m trying to relax and calm down. I’m trying to get this tension OUT of my upper back. It works for a little while.

We both get dressed and I’m ready to go. Nothing exciting, just casual. Low heels, perfect for SoBe.

I’m so happy with Sylvia right now. She is usually so stubborn but we had a little talk about it and she is now willing to compromise. She likes to go out after midnight. I like to be on my way home around midnight. But we both agree, we don’t want to pay to get into ANYWHERE. I refuse. I mean, I’ll pay but only if it’s someone’s birthday or something and I’m obligated to hang out with them. Otherwise, no way, I’m a woman, they should and DO let me in for free.

So once we’re stepping out of the parking garage-the SAME garage where she and I spent HOURS waiting for those guys to return to their car- remember that? We head to Ocean Drive to get a drink at Wet Willies. On our way there we pass a bunch of clubs and the promoters are trying to get us to come in. No thanks!

One guy yells out, “Do ya’ll wanna meet Young Jeezy?! It’s Young Jeezy!”

We keep walking.

Young Jeezy. Name sounds familiar, but I can’t place it.
“Isn’t he somebody?” Sylvia asks me.
“Girl, I wouldn’t know.”

We keep walking.

We get to Wet Willies and go to the upstairs bar and I’m looking at the names of all the drinks they serve. The drinks at Wet Willies are amazing. They specialize in frozen daiquiris that are smooth as hell. I ordered a daiquiri called “Attitude Adjustment” cuz I really needed one.

Sylvia and I are sitting on the first floor in the front just watching people walk by. I’m checking out natural hairstyles and outfits. And I’m checking out the guys. I’m thinking, “Great I’m on South Beach–again.” ~yawn~

I’m sippin on my drink and the air just gets softer. People start to look funny to me. I’m laughing and Sylvia is looking at me like, Whoa. By the time I’m done with my drink I think, “Damn, not only did this adjust my attitude, it changed my life! I need to get this recipe!”

I call Ted and tell him where we are. And I agree to wait on him, but Sylvia is getting restless. She wants to leave. So I shrug and figure we’ll see him as he makes his way our way. I’m laughing all by myself and feeling sooo nice! I’m just happy to be alive and grown and A WOMAN! I am on TOP OF THE WORLD!!!

Ahh..I’m also a tad bit drunk!
(That is what having a strong drink will do to ya, after giving up drinking for the past month.)

So as we’re walking through the crowd on Ocean Drive, Sylvia reminds me that she wants to meet some hot guys. I KNOW ALREADY! LOL! That’s what she came down here for. I see hot guys all around. But concerning men, I’m actually more liberal in the looks department than Sylvia is.

“Look at him, ” I say to her and point. Oohh Daddy, I’ll try one of those.
“Ughh.. He’s only like, 5’10” and his face is not all that,” she says.
I laugh. OKKK.

Before I know it I see him. B to the C. Brutha Code. I recognize him from his pictures but dayum— never did I think he’d be so adorable. As soon as I saw him I gave him a hug and a once over. He reminded me of my highschool days. He looked like one of those guys that I would see back in the day and say to my girl, “Damn. I want that one.”

As I ran my mouth a mile a minute still floating off of my daiquiri and my own natural runny mouth high, we started walking toward Fat Tuesdays. I kinda heard Ted and his friends laughing at me. I definately heard Sylvia telling me to calm down but I’m like, “F*** it. I’m out. I needed this time away from my kids. I ain’t hurtin nobody… This is South Beach and I’m having fun.”

Then I catch a quick glimpse of this man’s walk. Hell naw! Ted is bow legged like a mutha! And he’s wearing shorts so you can see them legs turn in. GOT DAMN! I had to look away. That shit is too sexy.

We reach Fat Tuesdays and I give Ted a hug. He’s on his way back to his hotel room to change and hang with his friends. I tell him to enjoy South Beach and Sylvia and I walk into Fat Tuesdays. She wants a drink but I don’t. I am still buzzing from that daiquiri. We hit the dance floor and this chick wants to dance in the corner. I’m like, “Why? How will the men get to us?” But I shrug and shake it on down by myself.

~Um, Get it Mama!~
~Shake it Mama!~
~Work that thang!~
~Shake that thang!~

After a few songs Sylvia has to go to the potty so we head that way. I’m standing there waiting for her when I notice the towel lady sitting on her stool in front of the sink. All of her “equipment” was spread out over the counter. She has ANY and EVERYTHING a woman could ever need. Tampons, pads, deodorant, perfume, advil, tylenol, purses, hair clips, rubber bands, floss, chloraseptic, oil sheen, hot curlers, emory boards, lipstick, lipliners, phone cards, snickers bars, eyelash curlers and even condoms!

Damn!

I’m just standing there in awe at her collection. I’m challenging myself to see if I can think of something that she does not have. But I can’t.

She gives me a smug look as we leave. Do your thang Mama.

We don’t go back to the dance floor because Sylvia doesn’t like any of the guys that she sees. I don’t care really, I met Brutha Code, so I’m done for the night, whatever she wants to do is fine with me.

She suggests going to Opium. I’m down for whatever. But after walking a block we realize that this is going to be a challenge. See by this point we were on 11th street. Opium is on 1st street. Yeah. That would mean we would have to walk 10 blocks, which wouldn’t have been so bad except Sylvia is wearing 4 inch heels. ~shakes head~

I always go out with women who INSIST on wearing stilettos on South Beach. That is a HORRIBLE idea. There is too much walking for that. And if a man won’t think I’m attractive cuz I’m wearing one inch heels, too bad for him. I ain’t tryin to be uncomfortable all night.

We look at each other as we near 6th street.

“Do you think you can make it dawg?” I ask her.
She looks at me and pauses.
“We HAVE to,” she says seriously.”
“Let’s do it,” I say as if we’re on a mission.

When we reach Opium, there’s a nice crowd waiting outside. I’m feeling the guys. I nudge Sylvia. She turns up her nose at them. I can’t do anything but laugh at her. She’s hilarious!

We both look at each other at the same time. We’re not waiting in this line. We agree without saying a word. We both turn around and walk the 7 blocks back to the garage.

We’re teasing each other because it’s so early and we’re already done for the night. It’s only 12:30. We are definately getting OLD.

As we climb into the car I get an idea. I know what would make this night a little more fun.

“I have a friend we can go see, if you’re down.” I tell her.
“Hell yeah I’m down.”
“Not the best neighborhood, but we’ll be straight.”
“Fine with me, it’ll be an adventure!”

I laugh at her and call my friend. He’s happy to hear from me.

We make it down his way and are up in his spot freeing our minds. We must have talked and laughed for hours because before I knew it, it was almost 4am.

We leave and laugh as we head back to the North side. It was funny because this was my first time chillin with him like that. I remember he played a song for us. This guy sounded JUST like Eminem and I thought that was soo weird. I mean, how you gonna sound like Eminem? That’s not gonna work. I felt sad for him. And then at the end of the song, the artist goes, “I wanna say thanks to everyone who ever listened to me.”

Awww. I felt heartbroken.

Why was my friend playin this mess?

So I head home and when I get there my sister’s boyfriend is outside. Apparently my sister locked the car keys inside the car. When I walk inside the door, I hear my sons.

“They’re in their room playing,” she tells me.
WHAT?! It’s after 4:00.
“Look, they woke up around 2:00 and looked for you and then they never went back to sleep.”
I laughed and undressed.

“Boys!” I called out.
“MAMA! MAMA!” They ran in and gave me big hugs.
“You know what the deal is, get in that bed.”
“YAY!” they cheer as they climb into my bed.
We all cuddle up and fall asleep quickly.

The next thing I hear is them chatting happily as the sunlight peeks through my window. I pull the covers over my head..

Ugh.. My head hurts.