Sometime during all of this hustling around to sow seeds for my perfect job, I met a man.
Well..I rarely even talk to men that I don’t already know so of course he was no exception.
On the night of my pseudo class reunion Anna picked me up and we headed over to the lounge to meet up with a few of my classmates.
While at the bar Anna leans over and whispers, “There’s a guy coming and his name is Anthony. Act like you remember him.”
When Anthony approached us he gave us both a hug and I checked him out. Hmm..I remembered him from high school. But damn- he sure did get fine as hell over the last 10 years.
Anthony must be about 5’10” and he works out every minute it seems. We didn’t really talk much that night but we danced a little and he slipped me his business card.
After we were all nice and toasted we went home and I didn’t think about him again.
A couple of days later I got a note from him on myspace asking if I was too drunk to remember that we had seen each other. That made me laugh.
“Let’s hang out,” I wrote back to him and then paused. Uh…What’s wrong with you? Why did you write that? I shrugged it off and sent the note.
He wrote me back saying that I already had his number and I could give him a call at any time.
One night I called him and we talked for hours and hours. I really enjoyed his conversation and his sense of humor. I am usually annoyed or nervous around men because I feel like they are judging me or trying to hit on me but I didn’t feel put off by him at all.
The next day I went to see him and we spent the day watching TV and talking. He went and got me a pan con bistec and I ate that thing all in one sitting. I had never done that before and he laughed and said, “Somebody was hungry!”
He ended up moving to DC that same week for a new job and we have kept in touch almost everyday. Things had started to get a little weird over the phone when I realized that I kinda liked him. I tried everything I could to push him away but he’d just say, “So…have you found a good enough reason to stop talking to me yet?”
I fought with myself over this whole thing for quite a while. Sure, he’s handsome, sweet, black as the night, FINE and a good person. But…he’s not someone that I would be with. He’s not the man on my soul mate video. He doesn’t have paperwork. He’s not creative and brilliant like Kanye. He’s not a nerd at all.
I decided to stop talking to him because I didn’t want to lead him on. When I told him he said, “Why are you so scared?”
“Who says I’m scared?”
“You are.”
“Maybe I’m scared you are going to be like all the other men.”
“No, I think you are scared that I’m NOT going to be like them. You don’t know what to do with that.”
I stopped talking to him anyway. I don’t have time for the drama. But then I started missing his conversation. He doesn’t remind me of any man that I know. I think that’s a good thing.
So lately I have decided to just go with the flow. Talking with him makes me feel good and I’m allowed to feel good. Hell..I deserve it.
I don’t know. I don’t feel pressure at all to be with him. I just think that we are cool ass friends.
He’s coming next month and I will probably do it with him.
I think that would be nice.