My life is a miracle.
Even on the days when it doesn’t feel like it.
I am truly grateful to be alive and healthy and moving forward with my life. Fuck all the stuff that it looks like I don’t have. I have everything I need and MORE.
I went to see my boys tonight. I just had to have a hug.
Sometimes the cravings come like hunger pains and I just have to go see them and squeeze them tightly as I listen to them tell stories about school and their Daddy and his girlfriend. That chick has really latched on to the motherhood role. I bet it’s so fun for her to play Mommy. I wonder if she’ll ever have children of her own or if she wants them. I can’t believe she and my BBDD haven’t had any children yet. They’ve been together forever. I guess they are doing things the right way.
As I drove home after hugging my boys I had to fight to maintain my positive vibration. “Look,” I told myself. “In 20 years none of this will matter. All that will matter to your boys is that you made the best out of your life and you always loved them.”
You want to know what my “happy thought” is?
Whenever I feel sad or my vibration is headed south, I always think of the way it feels to hug my sons. They are MY SONS. No one can claim them but me! They came out of MY BODY!
That’s the greatest feeling in the world. It’s way better than a massage or an orgasm.
My boys are going to be so proud of me when it’s all said and done.
I’m 28 years old. Still growing.
This year is winding down.
The Christmas Carols are playing all over the radio, the houses are all decorated with bright lights and multi-colored bulbs. But of course, this IS Miami, so all of the trees are still bright green and the temperature averages about 80 degrees during the day but…that’s what Christmas is like around here.
I’ve bought presents for my sons with the money I saved from the articles I have been getting published.
I see even more bright days ahead for my family.
I’m not just asking God for great blessings for myself, I’m asking for great blessings for my parents, my brother and sister, my friends and my children’s father.
It’s funny that when I pray I ask for a miracle that would make me fall over crying with joy. That makes me laugh when I picture myself on the ground crying in disbelief that all of my dreams have come true. I’m so dramatic!
I thank God for allowing me to grow at the right pace and in the right direction and I truly believe that everything is unfolding just as it should.
No worries. Just peace. Just me…walking out my journey and enjoying the life I was blessed with.
Life really is a gift. Treasure it in every moment.