Just Wanna Do The Right Thing

I feel like I’m floating on a cloud to heaven. I can not believe the amount of wonderful things that are happening to me and I have not even arrived in Houston yet. This trip is truly blessed and I have made a decision not fo defile it for my own personal pleasure. Whatever that means.

Honestly I’m scared I’m going to fuck this up. So I seem to be even more on edge about everything. I want to define my parameters early so that I don’t go into this being so open to influence. I’m not dating any of these dudes. Not right away. I don’t even know how they roll so I have to get a feel for them first. I know I will socialize more than usual and that means meeting more men but I don’t have to receive intimacy from any of them. I’m not searching for that intimate partner anymore or that emotionally intimate partner. So with men I can keep it light and free, pleasantly business-like. I hope that works.

I seem to put out a certain type of energy that translates sexually. JB told me that even when I’m being a bitch to men the energy I expel is still kinda demanding/sensual/alluring- I don’t remember what he said. Shit…I need to kill that because I want to be respected and not be eye candy/make their dicks hard. I need to play this the right way because everything that I hope for is on the line.

This is hard because I don’t have anyone that I can look to as a personal example. But I hope I figure it all out because I promise to share what I learn about pursuing my dreams and fucking up along the way but never giving up regardless of anything- I’ll share that with you.

I drove to Baton Rouge last night and had dinner with Serenity23 at her home. I met her son Tyler and we played together and I tickled him. He has such a great energy. Why is that I felt so comfortable in her home yet we are only internet blogger buddies? Words can link hearts, I guess.

We made it a slumber party and I left early the next morning back to Hammond to Ruby’s house to prepare for her football party for the GATOR game tonight BITCHES!

Lord, help me to do the right thing at all times.