I’ve been visiting churches since I’ve been here. For the past month and a half I have decided to stay at one particular church simply because I became tired of church hopping and I thought the pastor was cool. Today he mentioned the importance of spiritual fathers and it made me think about my pastors back in Gainesville.

I miss my church in Gainesville. I miss the powerful word. It was really a life-changing word. You know how sometimes you might go to church and then spend the entire time wondering when service was going to be over? I NEVER felt like that for a minute at my old church. I was so hungry for the word. I went every Sunday expecting a life-changing word from God and I received it everytime.

I’m not getting that here.

The first church I visited here in Miami was powerful just like my old church but the only thing was, they didn’t have a children’s ministry. A children’s ministry is important to me because during a 3 to 4 hour service a small child can not be expected to sit quietly and fold their hands the entire time. I don’t want my sons to dread going to church because they are always getting into trouble for wanting to play and move around.

Also, for a single person like myself, I would spend nearly the entire time discipling my sons and not receiving my word or really worshipping God. A children’s ministry is important because it focuses on the child and teaches the child at his own level.

Some people say to me, “Ms. Tee stop trying to run things!” I’m not. It’s just that everytime I look at any organization I tend to think of ways that things can be re-organized to be more efficient. I sometimes fight with keeping my mouth shut and not making any suggestions, but sometimes I just can’t do it. Maybe I need to start my own consulting business to help businesses and organizations become more organized.

Sometimes I get excited about all that is within me. Sometimes I get a little nervous thinking what if all that is in my heart to do never comes to pass. Then I shake myself a little and keep believing in me.

I’m a difficult person to be around I’m told. The reason is because I bring those issues to the forefront that need to be addressed. I don’t ever really have idle conversation about music videos and nonsense. Most conversations that I have are about evaluating life and pushing toward goals. I don’t plan it that way, that is just what is important to me. Some people say I need to loosen up and laugh more, but I want a lot out of life and I feel that I have to be focused to get there.

I want to live right by Christ. I want others to want that too. I surround myself with people who are driven and passionate about making a career out of their gifts and using them to bring glory to God. A lot of times through my conversations I force people to do something about their dreams. I may be a little harsh but what is the point of fantasizing about something if you don’t believe it can happen?

Who says you can’t have everything you want out of life? Who says you have to settle just because your mother did? Who gave you a limit to your abilities? Don’t you realize that the same air you breathe is the same air that the great leaders breathe? They have the same skin. They have the same mind. The difference is, they didn’t stop moving toward their goal.

Who says a black girl from the ghetto can’t rise above her surroundings? Who says a black girl with a public school education can’t inspire millions to change their lives? I’m only one person. but my heart is to change your heart, to help you see that there is more to you than just a job. There is more to you than just being a mother or teacher or worker.

There is more. And if you want it, you can have it. But you have to do something about it.