I feel sick.
I just had an awakening after I read this quote:
Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to a better understanding of ourselves – Carl Jung
I may just curl up and cry. I mean, I KNEW this and now I know how guilty I am. I am so angry and frustrated with my former friend because in her I see who I used to be and I hate that person so much I want to run away from it.
I hated being so weak minded and dependent on others and so hungry to be loved. That is why I am running away.
I am seeing myself and it is killing me because I don’t want to be like that anymore.
I thought it was about her. I thought this would benefit her more than me but it’s really my distaste for the lifestyle and thought process I was involved with while we were friends. I don’t want that life anymore!
I don’t want to talk about those things, be frustrated by those things and live out that type of relationship anymore.
I am annoyed with her because I am annoyed with MYSELF.
And I’m running away.
And I don’t ever want to go back.