My friend B is so funny!
Last night I called him because I wanted to talk about Killing Buddha and he said, “Tee, I’m about to watch the HEAT!” I laughed.
When he called me back I was like, “Um, The Heat is of the world!”
He said, “I know. It’s one of the last things I need to let go of.”
B is so very special. This new spiritual journey reminds me of when he first started really being a Christian. I was the same way, overzealous, wanting to point everyone the “right” way and being judgmental all the time.
But through Buddhism B has found something to put his focus on. We agree on most ideals but he thinks there is a “TRUTH” to be found while i do not.
I don’t think there is a certain “TRUTH” because TRUTH is relative to the viewer. Sure there are socially constructed “Truths” but there are no ultimate truths. What one may view as heaven, another may think would be hellish.
But B is so excited about shit I discovered years ago, it’s fun to hear him whisper excitedly, claiming he wants to be a teacher.
“Tee, I’m coming to Miami tomorrow.”
“Why?”
“TO give away my 55 inch flat screen TV and my ps3.”
“Why?”
“To rid my self of attachments. I want to know what its like to be completely unattached to this world.”
“Well you can bring some worldly attachments over here. I don’t have anything!” I told him.
He laughed.
“B, it’s not fun. It’s not fun having nothing,” I tell him.
“Tee, what does Matthew 6:24 say?”
“You want me to look up the Bible?”
“Yes, Tee.”
I sigh, “Ok. It says you can not serve two masters.”
“Exactly! How can I serve God and the world?”
“Um. I don’t know.”
To me its not that serious. To B, he wants to spend all his time in meditation and communion with everything and nothing.
“Don’t you want to know the ultimate truth?” he asked.
“Not really. I just want to be able to feel safe, be creative and make money from it so I can take care of my sons again. That’s my idea of success.”
I figure that the state of Nirvana or the trance you reach when you are in meditation is probably a lot like what it feels like to be dead. I’m guaranteed to experience that when I die so why should I rush it now?
This world is a PLAYGROUND.
Everything in it is a reflection of what you believe the world should be.
“Tee, you live in a bubble!” Negative people who hate their lives always say this to me.
I usually shrug. “I’m a star in my own world and everything that happens pushes me toward my best me.”
It’s all stories. That’s all life is. We pick up the phone everyday to tell what happened. If there’s no DRAMA there’s no story.
So we create drama just to have something to look forward to.
I want the next part of my “story” to be…
Ms. Tee, in the midst of her final semesters as a graduate student suddenly awoke to a strange surprise which changed her life in the most dramatic way. Never before had she smiled the smile she smiled that day. Never before has she danced a happy dance the way she shook her ass that day.
That day, everything made sense. All the past, all the tears, all of the seeds she planted had finally produced a harvest and Ms. Tee with all of her infinite wisdom and talent, knew exactly what to do to make her harvest flourish.
BOOM! She gets a home of her own, a spectacular home just like the ones she and her boys fantasized about.
BOOM! She gets an opportunity to showcase her talents in a MAJOR way and the country is ASTOUNDED by this treasure! Immediately she is the buzz and the most sought after journalist and thought leader, the youngest around!
BOOM! She gets her teeth fixed and goes to the doctor!
BOOM! She can eat whatever she likes. All the lobster tails, all the hot wings, all the spaghetti with cheese and garlic bread and cold drinks and sandwhiches, unlimited food, unlimited desserts. No more ramen noodles!
BOOM! She gets a new car, a luxury car, with a sunroof like she always wanted.
BOOM! She gets a book deal, multiple books, all the words she ever wanted to write could be written and shared with the world.
BOOM! She flies out to Chicago to visit Kim and spends time with her family.
BOOM! She’s about to give her mother $250,ooo to spend as she pleases and hires the assistant for her mom that she promised.
BOOM! Kanye calls and he needs therapy. $10,000 a session and he passes her name around his inner circle. Soon Oprah calls too.
BOOM! She performs all over the country with her sons by her side. They are not embarrassed by Mama at this point, they are proud that she has a zany personality and they appear at every event they can with her.
BOOM! Her BBDD suddenly receives the love he deserves and it changes his broken heart so he interacts with the world differently.
BOOM! She is loved by someone who does not NEED anything but the blessing of her presence and is eager to make a smile appear on her face.
BOOM!
IT HAPPENS!
IN A FLASH!
IN A HEARTBEAT!
IN A MIRACULOUS WAY!
UNDER GRACE!
IN THE BLINK OF AN EYE!
Whatever happens next will lead toward that dream.
I trust.
And I am grateful.