In Her Defense

I have been all over the internet, looking behind cardboard boxes, under shelves and in corners trying to read everything I could about this chick Karinne Steffans AKA Superhead. And yes, I saw the porno too. Damn girl! ~raising eyebrow~ I thought I was good, but damnnnn!

I promise you that I WILL buy the book just to support her just because so many people out there are hating something fierce. What does it benefit you to call someone a hoe? Does it make you feel superior or better about your own life? Are you able to rationalize that yes, you may have slept with 30 men, but she’s had wayyy more men so you’re a saint- yeah right.

I do not judge this chick charshly. In my opinion she is making money off of her story. And my interest is merely for entertainment purposes. I have never had the honor (?) of meeting any celebrities but their lifestyles has always intrigued me. So this book will be an intimate peek into their world and I greatly appreciate it. It’s not a guidebook for living. It’s not a Bible. It’s the woman’s story- point blank. And everyone who has a blog tells their story and don’t get bashed for it.

The part that hurt me the most was listening to this radio interview on some radio station. Karinne was there to promote her book when all of a sudden the host asks her about her Baby Daddy and she begins to tell her story. She says he does not pay child support and she hasn’t even spoken to him in years. As soon as she says this, the host of the show- (And what kind of bootleg show was this anyway?) says: (paraphrasing) Well, we have your son’s father on the phone right now with his wife, Ma Barker.

I could have died right then and there. I could feel my heart beating fast and quick. Oh shit, here it comes, the confrontation.

Immediately her Baby Daddy’s WIFE starts in on her, bashing her and calling her a liar and trying to discredit her. I’m thinking, “BITCH WHO ASKED YOU?”

I’m serious. How can you as a WOMAN sit by with your man while he does not take care of his kids? I don’t care what kind of a hoe his Baby Mama is! He should be helping to support his child. I don’t care how many lies she has told! He should be helping to support his child. I don’t care how many dicks she has sucked! He should be helping to support his child. If you do this you are ALLOWING him to screw over another woman who could BE YOU one day. But you think it’ll never happen to you, huh? Honey, if it did, you probably would crumble.

Ma Barker and her ugly Baby Daddy tap dance all around this issue. Instead they wanna put other celebrities on front street about sleeping with her. What does that have to do with the fact that YOUR MAN DON’T TAKE CARE OF HIS SON?! Answer the question! Do you pay your child support? HELL NO! The rest of that shit is irrelevant. Point blank.

Then this chick, Ma Barker actually admits to recording conversations with Karinne during their relationship. Psycho maybe? Who records people’s phone conversations? Slimy ass chicks!

They play one of the recordings and it is Karinne leaving a message thanking her Baby Daddy for some clothes or something he sent for the boy. Oooohhhh! Congralulations, you bought him a sweat suit. Whoop-de -doo! Did you know he can ride a bike? Did you see the scrape he got last week while trying? NO! All you did was buy a sweat suit and parade around like a playa with your new hoe! You are NOT to be admired.

I have a VERY sensitive spot for bashing Baby Mama’s. I hate that shit. Seriously. People look down on you because you have kids and you’re raising them by yourself. No one looks down on the father who left you in that situation. No, he gets to run around town, picking up chicks, living grand and trying to convince himself and ANYONE who will listen that you are a horrible person so that he won’t feel so bad about walking away from his responsibility, while you struggle to buy groceries and find gas money. Yeah, they wanna berate you because you can’t handle it by yourself financially but no one is willing to help. People always wanna talk shit but no one wants to lend a helping hand.

So what? This chick used to be a hoe. So what? She’s not anymore. She is exploiting herself by telling her story. Don’t get mad because you are a part of that story.

I HATE when people bash Baby Mama’s! I remember once my sorority sister sat in front of me telling me about some guy she was dating that had a son that wasn’t even a year old. I look at her like, “Where’s this kid’s mother?” She replies, “Oh, his crazy Baby Mama? She around here somewhere.”

I could feel the heat rise up in my chest. I had to calm myself down before I spoke and I let her no with NO RESERVATION that she better not say that shit around me anymore.

Oh, she’s a CRAZY BABY MAMA because he told you that?!! Oh guess what? Niccas lie! And you dumb for believing his ass!

Look man, a certain amount of respect is due to every human being. But a special amount of respect is due to women and mothers, especially BLACK SINGLE MOTHERS. Don’t you think we have enough to bear, what with our men taking their frustration for the world out on us? Yet you continually beat us down. We beat each other down. We bring each other down. We hate ourselves. We are out here on our own, just figuring shit out because a black man doesn’t know how to be a man or a father. All he knows how to do is spread his seed and walk away. We’re left to do the rest. And you bash us for mistakes. Who made you God?

I never understood why people are so quick to put you down without ever considering giving you some guidance. That’s why I’m not into all this criticism and bashing. Why even acknowledge a problem if you are not going to work to fix it? Complaining is for bitches who ain’t got shit else to do! Be proactive. If you recognize a need, then do your best to fill it. Have a heart.

But none of what I said matters really.

You will still sit back and smirk and call her a hoe. You will feel better about your sex life cuz at least you ain’t as nasty as HER.

What do you see when you see her? A bitch ass dirty ass hoe?

Naw, I see:

A Black woman.

A single Mom.

A survivor.

A writer.

Someone who could easily be me.

Cuz I was givin it up to men for free, I never got paid a dime. Does that make me a better woman? Does that make YOU a better woman?

Karinne. Move on. Improve your life. Live nicely.

There is life after this.

You are young, beautiful and talented. Your past is just that, your past. I am glad that you shared your story and there ARE women who benefit from hearing it. I know I did. Your story showed me that no matter what method you try to be successful, there are always gonna be haters. It showed me that something good can come out of something bad.

You turned your misfortune into a fortune.

And I ain’t mad at ya.

No one has all the answers.

We’re all trying to figure this shit out.