I’m Such an Ass

I rode down NE 2nd avenue all the way to the Design District yesterday for a job interview. ~sigh~

LOL!

I’ve been on a million of em.

The interview started out the same way most of my interviews start.

Interviewer: ~taking a look at my resume~ Well, you’re definately overqualified for this job. Why would you even consider working here? Don’t you want to be at a newspaper or a magazine?

I usually sigh and smile. What can I say to that?

Hell yeah I would rather be at a newspaper or a magazine but dammit they ain’t hiring ME right now so I gotta do what I gotta do!

In this case, I’m interviewing for a receptionist/office assistant position at a small criminal law firm with a well known attorney in Miami.

The position seems harmless and easy to do. I look the interviewing attorney in the eye and say calmly, “I’m sure this is the most innappropriate thing to say during an interview but it’s the truth. I have no intention of joing a company and growing with them. I don’t want to move up. I don’t want to be a supervisor or a manager. I really just want a job that is easy, doesn’t demand too much and will be flexible while I pursue my writing goals.”

He sits back in his black leather chair and looks at me. He clasps his hands together and I smile.

“Well,” he says. “This may be the perfect job for you then…At times we aren’t really very busy and I don’t mind if you worked on your writing at work if you have the time. Hey, let me talk to my partner and we’ll get back with you.”

I haven’t heard back from them, but hey… Roll on…Roll on…

I just finished playing Hide-N-Go-Seek with my sons. ~smile~ This time I hid in the bathtub and it took them more than 10 minutes to find me.

I heard my 5 year old say to his younger brother, “Shhh..Listen to the sounds. Mama has to move sometime. We can hear her move if you listen.”

They finally saw my silouhette through the bathroom shower curtain. Why did I buy a clear shower curtain, anyway?

A couple of days ago I got a call from my boy Ryan. He said, “Man, your blog is such an emotional rollercoaster. One minute everything is great and the next your whole world is f****ed up!”

I almosty DIED!!!! It was one of those laughs when you have to put the phone down cuz your entire body is convulsing with the strength of the joy of laughter.

“Actually,” I told him. “At one point I considered calling my blog Emotional Rollercoaster. But I let go of the idea.”

I’m “talking” to someone else, besides Dude. I made sure to give someone else a chance in hopes that I would leave Dude alone. Actually I’m talking to two different men and neither of them excite me. This whole “game” thing has proved to be so wild to me.

Get this…I treat these men the OPPOSITE of how I treat Dude. I don’t return their calls. I don’t allow them to come to my house. I meet up with them briefly and always make sure I have to leave early.

I try not to give off any sexual energy in their presence or in phone conversations. I don’t make myself available to them cuz I’m not really interested like that. They obviously love it. They won’t stop calling and telling me their life stories. ~shakes head~

Men…

Man…Lord, please help me to leave Dude alone. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I can’t grasp the concept of putting him into a booty call category but I’m sure that’s where he wants to be. But booty calls don’t spend the night. At least mine don’t. Booty calls don’t hang out. Booty calls don’t meet your children.

~gasp~

Yes, he has met my sons. ~faints~ How could he not when he sleeps over? I had to teach them to knock before coming into my room in the morning after a nice suprise one rainy morning when my son walked in looking confused.

This is horrible. All I said I wanted was someone to give me secks on a regular basis and now I have that, but I want more. I want to meet someone who will VALUE me and what I have to offer and I want him to have a very big penis and a stable job and be generous and decent looking and inspirational like me.

I’m compromising by dealing with him and I know it.

I think I’m just so used to this type of treatment that it seems fair and just. I don’t know what it’s like to have someone truly care about me. I don’t know how to have blind faith in something that doesn’t seem real.

WAKE UP MS. TEE!

You are too beautiful to be tucked away in a corner and used like a sex toy. Hmm..That sounds kinda fun… But you know where I’m going.

You are not a warm, wet hole. You are a woman. You have so much to offer the right person. Why don’t you wait? It will come.

You keep doing the same shit over and over. You keep attracting the same type of me.

Why?

Why?

Grow the hell up girl!