I let him in

I shouldn’t have, I know that now. But at the time he really intrigued me. The initial meeting was cool, with chemistry and a lot of wordless flirting, which heightens the mystery and makes it more exciting. After a few weeks of this, he asked for my number in a way that caught me off guard because I wasn’t expecting it since he was younger than I am.

Unlike the other brothers who had been approaching me, he was very cool. I usually give my number with resignation, knowing that each dude has the potential to be an idiot and possibly hurt me. See, I haven’t “dated” anyone since I had my first son, out of fear that he’ll try me like my children’s father did. And I guess out of fear that as soon as a man learns that I have two children, he’ll run off. But this guy was different.

He had the ability to make me laugh like I had never laughed before. He was doing all the sweet things that make a woman feel good, daily calls, short visits just to “see my Mami”. To top it off he was Hispanic, which everyone knows is a huge turn on for me. When he would whisper, “Dime Mami,” I would melt. We went out a few times, Had lots of laughs. When I found out that we shared the same passion for blogging and chatting I was elated. He wasn’t just your average chat partner. He reminded me of Mac’s sense of humor and he was above average with his computer knowledge.

I let down my guard and shared with him that I was apprehensive about “talking” to someone and he said that he wasn’t in the business of hurting anyone.

Last night I got a phone call from him as he left his night class. He wanted to see me so I got dressed and went out with him to get an icecream cone and a little quiet time.

“Hey Mami,” He said with a kool-aid grin. “I’ve been thinking about seeing you all day.”

I smiled and gave him a kiss.

We went to the park and talked for a little while while we ate our icecream. He dropped me home and said our goodbyes. Later I got online and he was on. My heart was feeling funny so again I shared with him about my apprehension and told him that I was glad we met. He responded by telling me he had just been thinking the same thing and that it would be best if we would just be friends.

I was surprised and hurt, to say the least. I mean, we had not even had an argument or anything. We were having a great time and for once I felt like a man was cool enough to warrant my attention.

I called him and asked him what this was all about. He said, “I think things are moving towards something too deep. I have 6 more years of school left and I don’t think I can handle this right now.”

Uh…

Too deep? We had only kissed. No proclamation of love was given, no booty either.

So, I just wished him well in his schooling and told him I’d see him around the hood.

I hung up and sighed.

I called my bestfriend Anna and told her what happened. She told me that he was just young and scared of a good thing. Young guys don’t know what to do with a good relationship, they’re used to breaking up all the time. She warned me not to go back into my shell disregarding all possible suitors like I usually do.

I feel a lot better today. But I must admit it stung for a while.

I sure won’t allow that to happen again. If this is what dating leads to, you all can have it. I’m straight. So straight.