I Went To Church Today

When I first arrived and walked through the doors I couldn’t believe it when NONE of the ushers or greeters even smiled at me or gave me a program. Does this church HAVE programs? Does anyone care that I’m here? Why didn’t anyone welcome me? I couldn’t believe that their personal conversations were more important than welcoming guests.
The only person who acknowledged me was the man handing out offering envelopes. I politely declined. THEN, I walked through the HUGE church smiling and I walked right to the front because I was 30 minutes early and I wanted to get a front row seat. No one was on the front row yet but just as I started to sit down I noticed others looking at me crazy. “Are these seats reserved?” I asked. “Yes, they are.”Well damn. “Where can I sit?” I asked. “Back there,” they said pointing to the rear. “These front seats are reserved for the staff.”I rolled my eyes. How rude! I don’t sit in the back anywhere. I’m a front row type of chick. I want the full experience.So I walk up to an usher and introduce myself, “Hi, I’m Ms. Tee. I’m from Florida and this is my first time here. I’d like 2 of your BEST seats for myself and my friend.”He laughed. “Well, how about up there?” he asked and pointed to some seats wayyy up in the stands. I looked at him and said, “No. I’m a visitor. I deserve better seats than that. I’ve waited a long time to hear him speak in person.””Well, this time I’ll let you sit up front but next time you have to sit in the back, ok?” “Sure,” I said and then silently added, “There won’t be a next time because ya’ll are treating me like I’m a second class citizen.”
So I sat down in the front section on the 4th row and I was so upset. You have to treat people like you LOVE them in church. Every single person that walked by my row, neither smiled nor introduced themselves to me. I became extremely annoyed at this point and I was ready to leave. Why would I ever think of joining a place where everyone ignores you? These people don’t give a damn about a new face.So the choir sang and I tried to shake off my frustration but it was hard because of my past negative experiences with churches. Then they played a whole bunch of commercials and made some announcements and honored Bishop Jakes and his wife for celebrating 25 years of marriage.That was so special to me. 25 years of marriage? They have been looking at each other for so long and they STILL like each other. I allowed my fantasy relationship to play out for a little while during the tribute. In my mind I enjoyed sitting next to my husband and him whispering inside jokes in my ear as we both enjoy watching my boys grow up as our business grows.Then I snapped out of it as TD Jakes began to speak. At the instant his voice hit my ears, every negative thought about this church dissappeared. There’s something about him….This man spoke to me. He peeked into my soul and pulled out the very details that I try so hard to hide behind my makeup. His message was about recognizing your significance.I can see why he’s so popular. His message uplifts those of us who have come through so much abuse and degradation and opposition but don’t want to be there forever.It wasn’t just an inspirational word, it was more of a reminder from God that I am doing the right thing. My sons will be so blessed because of my hard work. My entire family will never again have to go to a foodstamp office or collect a welfare check. I was on welfare with my first son. It was the only way I knew how to survive without dropping out of school and going back to Miami to live with my Mama. I was on foodstamps for years. I lived in section 8 housing with my son just like I was raised in. I fell viction to the generational curse of poverty.My whole family is like that. My Mama is the only one who owns her own home. No one but me, has ever attended or graduated from college yet. I can’t just sit by and wait for someone to rescue us. I’m strong enough to take the pain of paving the way. I’m smart enough to make the right decisions or even recover from making the wrong ones. Just like The Radio Man sacrificed time with his sons to work hard and provide for them and it changed their whole world, I have to do the same thing. Thank God his sons don’t resent him for it. They appreciate him for it. They understand. They love him anyway. And now he has created a remarkable change in lifestyle and opportunity that will last through the generations. That’s what I’m trying to do. I want my boys to grow up knowing that their options in life are limitless because God is their supply and Mommy has the connections to point them in whatever direction they want to go.May God Bless Bishop TD Jakes for being there today to affirm me. I also got a word in my spirit that I need to stop cursing so much. It’s unbecoming of a lady and a leader.Lemme go…I have to marinate on all this growth.