Food and Secks

I was crying and typing today.

Crying and typing.

My publisher was raking over my story on the phone in my ear and my heart was breaking as she corrected line after line.

“This is NOT a novel.”

“But it NEEDS the adjectives or it seems dry.”

“Stop personalizing the story. You shouldn’t be so connected to the subject. Stop making everything so personal. Tomorrow I want you to get a newspaper and pick three stories and highlight all of the adjectives that you see in the story. This is journalism. This is news. Keep it simple.”

“BUT I NEED ADJECTIVES TO LIVE!” I thought to myself. I didn’t say it though.

Stab!

Stab!

Stab!

These are my words man… These are my babies! This is my art! Let me create!

~sigh~

I will get this shit right… She says I shouldn’t be so emotionally connected to each story. “This is not blogging,” she said to me.

I just want the story to represent what I can do! Ohhh….

I’m still grateful for her patience with me while I learn. Her corrections do make the story better, I guess. I just want to feel like I’m successful and for the first time in a long time, I’m really challenged instead of bored at work.

So I came home and I intended to work on another project for work but I fell asleep.

I always dream HARD.

In my dream I was with Dianna at Tamara’s house. But Tamara’s house was way more grand and so many people were there eating up all the food. Maybe it was a restaurant, I don’t know. All I know is Dianna was on the phone with a guy and she hung up and said to me, “OK, he says he will do it with you and before that he’ll give you food too.”

My eyes lit up!

For real??? Come on let’s go!

But then they started serving food at Tamara’s house but there were no plates so I had to fix my food on a napkin and it kept breaking so I kept having to clean food from the floor. Everyone who passed me stopped to help me clean but I kept dropping the food again and again.

Then the email chime on my phone went off and it woke me up. I never got to do it with the guy.

~sigh~

Food and secks…. Food and secks…Food and secks….Why are those two things on my mind so much?

Sometimes I feel like I’m a dude.

The cool thing about my job is the fact that I get to meet so many successful people and I ask them whatever I want.

The other day I was talking to a long standing CEO of a major organization and she told me that her husband stepped down from his career job to help take care of his children so that she could pursue her career.

“Did you ever think that you would meet someone like that considering your goals and drive?” I asked her.

“No, not really. When I was in school I used to wonder if I would ever meet a man who could handle my personality. You always think that no man can hang with you. But I did. And he balances me. He loves to cook and clean and take care of the kids.”

Wow.

Houston is a really nice city. There’s so much diversity here.

Have I mentioned that this city is FULL of Asian people? I’ve met more Asians than Blacks.

I always thought that all Asians were Chinese but they’re not. If you LOOK at them you can see the differences. Some of them have broad noses just like Black people. Some of them have flat heads. One guy I met was from Tokyo and his eyes were huge, just like one of those gizmo toys.

The roads here are bumpy. When you drive you feel like you’re riding a horse.

“Get ready to get your alignment fixed every few months,” someone told me.

There’s so much construction going on with the freeways. It seems like they are expanding everything. This city is HUGE!

MAMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

I really, really need a hug.

I’m gonna declare over my life that I meet a nice man SOON. This alone shit is for the birds. Hell..even birds travel in groups.

I’m strong but…I’m soft too. I still want to be loved on sometimes.

Or if it’s not my time to be loved on then…let me at least do a good job at work. Let me be successful at SOMETHING!

Hold on… It’s coming.

I’m gonna read THE GAME OF LIFE again. It comforts me.

Let me go work on my project…