I did a phone interview today for next week’s theme on my website, Embracing The Fantasy. It was with a friend of a friend who is out in LA trying to make her way as an actress.
It was wild because…I met her before when she was at Florida with me and I remember that I thought she was so…distinct. She definitely repped Miami hard and I was proud of that. She had the “look” of a superstar. I never got to know her though so today when we spoke I couldn’t believe it…I felt as though I was talking to myself.
As I asked her about her journey and her faith moves, her words gave off the same vibrations that mine do. She seemed hopeful and willing to try with everything that she had to make her career successful. When I asked her if she had a day job she told me, “I had one, but I told them that I wouldn’t be going back because…I just have this feeling that I need to be free. I have this feeling that something big is about to happen.”
I felt tingles.
Me too.
She told me how she woke up at 4am and remembered that she hadn’t called me back for her interview. She said that when she woke up she decided to pray and praise God for His blessing even though it hadn’t come through yet.
I’ll admit, I was choked up because…no one thinks like me about following their peace. No one operates on their “inner feeling”, that thing that lets them know what is right to do. Everyone rationalizes their decisions and I don’t. I follow what I feel is right. It seems like I am consistently judged because of that and it felt good to meet someone who was in tune in the same way. It felt so good not to be the only one.
I told her about how my friends are walking away from me because they don’t like the way I make decisions and she said, “Yep. That’s how it goes. That’s God. He’s showing you that it’s almost time.”
My website is such a blessing to me! Every successful person that I interview tells me their story and it confirms that I am doing the right thing. I have the right heart. I’m giving my gift as much as I can to anyone who will receive it and I’m not afraid to take risks.
Even though certain friendships are slipping away, the remaining ones are becoming stronger. I had a friend call me the other day and say, “I didn’t know who I could discuss this with because I didn’t want anyone to look at me funny.”
I understood what she was saying. She has a bestfriend but sometimes…you can’t talk to them about things. I felt like that about my own bestfriend during this entire journey. I would never tell her everything and sometimes I’d lie or pretend like everything was fine because I didn’t want her to worry. I knew that she and her boyfriend would probably sit up and analyze my decisions like they sometimes did with their other friends and I wasn’t comfortable with that.
My friend told me about what was going on in her life and I was shocked. I am definitely learning a lot about relationships from her because as she goes through issues she shares the process with me and I always remind her to do the right thing. I reminded her that she had a decision to make that so many others in her family had made but she had to look at their end result.
“Look at how their lives turned out because of what they chose to do. I know you’re going to do the right thing,” I told her.
Temptation comes in every direction and it seems so easy to glide by without anyone noticing your indiscretion but I tell every last one of the people closest to me, “If you are going to do wrong, you can’t be my friend cuz I don’t wanna hear that shit, I’m not gonna encourage you in that shit and that shit is gonna come right back on you and I don’t want to be anywhere near it.”
Why do you feel like you have to lie on someone to get others to dislike them?
Why do you feel that you have to push someone out of the way so that you can get your chance to shine?
Why do you feel that you have to create outside conflict so that your own dirt will be overlooked?
Everything you’re plotting will be revealed as surely as the sun will rise.
You think you’re getting over but you’re actually burying yourself with each scheme.
I don’t know what made me write that.
Ok..Bye.